Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Luck of the Irish
And this is how I feel my luck is going right now...specifically regarding cars and electronics.
I would just like to say that I am a Virgo...this means that everything in my house is color-coded, alphabetized, and cross-referenced...with an index card explaining said cross-referencing. Even if everything does have a fine layer of cat hair on it, it's still organized, dammit. We don't even have a junk drawer...even the junk drawers have separators. But either I am too organized or I had a temporary moment of insanity because I've misplaced 2 coupons for free oil changes at our friendly neighborhood tire store. We have spent a lot of money there. And by "a lot"...I mean A LOT. Colonel Ketchup and his old man neediness has just about purchased us our very own wing of the tire store. So, I'm sure I could call up those friendly tire guys and explain the dilemma. But now it just comes down to the principle of the thing. I know I had 2 coupons left in an envelope from the store. Where the hells is it?? Adding to the madness is the fact that I'm in full-fledged CD-copying mode right now. We own about 450 CDs (thanks a freakin' lot, Columbia House and BMG. You really know how to hit up a 16-year old with 10 cents, don't ya? Now I own The Best of Ace of Base, the soundtrack to The Lion King, and John Denver's Greatest Hits) so I'm burning what I want and donating them to the library. I think once this epic task is finished, I will feel about 439 LBs lighter. It's the gettin' there that sucks. So, picture my office with piles: CDs to be burned, CDs that are burned but not cataloged, CDs that are burned and cataloged and ready to donate...plus the receipts from last week's buying spree that must be entered into the budget app and 2 weeks' worth of mail and you've just gotten a good glimpse of my personal hell.
Then you've got the fact that we own a Prius. That used to mean that we wanted to hug a tree and make all of my tampons out of seaweed. Now it means that we would like to die, careening at high speeds down I-64 until we come to rest under a semi for Wal-Mart. Because it's a 2009 and has only been recalled for floor mats, they won't do anything to it until the software issues in the other models have been fixed. But it still needs oil changes. At the dealership. Where 184999938 other people are also having their Toyotas maintained. An oil change used to take 45 minutes. I was there for 3 hours yesterday. I finished my book for the book club meeting last night...it's 482 pages and when I got there, I was on page 250. I'm no speedreader, kids. They did keep offering me free pork BBQ sandwiches (no thanks, I don't eat meat from a car dealership) and unlimited coffee (have you met me? No caffeine after 2PM or I'm pacing the yard until dawn the next day) and bags of Dorito's (I prefer my breath not to smell like sick baby diaper, thanks). And now there's an issue with the auxillary port, so I'm driving a loaner...a 2010 Corolla...which is fine, but when he gave it to me, he held the keys out all here kitty, kitty like and said "I'm really sorry. I had to give you a car with 300 miles on it. Hope you don't mind." Hardy, har, har. You're not giving me a LandRover or a Lexus, buddy...don't expect me to do backflips over a Corolla. Also? Colonel Ketchup has like 275,000 miles (it's now impossible to keep track of accurately, however, since the odometer quit working on Father's Day of 2008). I'm not a milesgirl. I'm a speedgirl. Give me a cobalt blue Mustang, and then we'll talk. Still waiting on that phone call to get the DeathTrap back.
Add to this the fact that Neal, AKA Mr. Electronics Gadgets, has had to return something not once, but twice this week...as he tries to hardwire the network in our house and rig our TV with an HD antenna. How nice it would be to not give money to the cable company every month. That's what we're working toward. It's a process, though.
So, since neither of us are Irish...Neal's half fullblood English and I'm a mut of European proportions (none of which involve being Irish), perhaps we should not expect the rainbow to end at our house. But I'll keep looking for that pot o' gold, which will give me 2 more free oil changes. And we shall celebrate with green liquids. Last year it was this:
That's right...if you add 2 drops of green food coloring to a glass of Chardonnay...you get green Chardonnay. We have a box (quit judging me...5 liters for $14. Mama didn't raise no fool) of Chablis in the fridge right now...another excellent white wine. So, perhaps this again? Or maybe something more daring.
Also...I lost a follower. *sad face* This is the first time. Rejection is a bitch. But it's a party at Magnolias and Mimosas and maybe they just couldn't hang.