Friday, June 28, 2013

Champagne Friday: Random, Random, Random

This is so sad, but I talk to Shana everyday and I have no idea if she's still doing Random Musings Friday. That's because I've been using naptime to feed my Etsy/Pinterest/Houzz addictions. That doesn't make it right. But it is what it is. So, if she's still doing them, hop on over to read all of the weird that happened to her throughout the week. Make her tell you about the guy who wanted to stroke her hair. In the mean time, I have a few of my own.

1) You may (or may not, as is normally the case with me) have noticed that I changed the name of my blog. Not the URL because a) I would like for my 4 readers to not have to go looking for me in the event that they find out I've actually written something and b) (and more importantly) I don't really know how to do that. So, magnoliasandmimosas now brings you to The Allyway. And this is all very fitting because now that I'm probably going to morph into quasi-mommy blogger, I do a lot of things my way, which has nothing to do with how anyone else does them...or how you're really supposed to do them (change a diaper on the dash of your car, anyone?).

2) Big Mama bought us a housewarming gift when we moved to Ft. Knox. It was a Fitbit for me. Sometimes she is confused by social mores. We've learned to let it go. So I've been tracking and trying for my 10,000 steps everyday. I usually hit it and, on occasion, go all step-ninja and exceed it. By a lot. Although never by another 10,000 steps like another person I know. *ahem* Anyway, I believe this is going to be the key to my weight loss. The Fitbit allows you to follow the step total of your friends who also have Fitbits. I am friends with Big Mama, my aunt (who would golf in her sleep if she could avoid the sandtraps), Neal, and Shana. Basically, it's a big bowl of competition soup. I forgot to charge my Fitbit on Tuesday night so it died yesterday. And the stroller got a flat. It's like someone (or ones) is conspiring against me....

3) Every morning Blue and I take a walk. There is an absurd amount of construction going on at the second entrance to our neighborhood. Something like 6 or 7 houses all going up at the same time. And that means a lot of excavators, high lifts, bulldozers, cement and dump trucks. It's basically Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site come alive. Blue gets a show and I get a little closer to feeding Fitbit dust to all of my friends. I am watching houses being built, from start to finish. So if this whole Mom-thing doesn't work out, I'll be ordering my pink hard hat from Amazon.

4) On Tuesday morning, this email came into my inbox on my phone:

Please let me draw your attention to the date. So the following text conversation happened:

Me: LOOK! I just got an email from 1969!
B: Or is it 2069?!
Me: Well wouldn't that be the freakiest damn thing:
S: What does the email from the past/future say?
(yes my friends are B & S...I'm sure that says something about me)
Me: Nothing. I couldn't even open it. And now it's gone.
S: was probably Marty McFly trying to warn you about the Libyans. You should wear your bullet proof vest today...just to be on the safe side.

And that was it. Because when you have been outwitted, it's best to recognize and just bow to the victorious.

5) Ahhh...summer...the season for picnics, bicycle rides, blowing bubbles in the backyard, and Creepy St. Creeperson in his ice cream truck, trolling the neighborhoods and offering something creamy on a stick. I know I was allowed to buy from the ice cream truck as a child. I remember it. But I swear Blue will have a fully stocked freezer in the garage before I let him anywhere near one of those vans. A friend of mine posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that they had managed to keep their daughter from really being that interested in it (presumably for the health factor, not the creeper factor, but maybe both) and she pondered how long it would last. Helpfully, her friends began chiming in with all of the ways they keep their children from flocking to it. A couple of my favorites were: 1) he only plays the music when he's out of ice cream and 2) it sells broccoli. When I asked Neal what his approach would be, he said, "oh that's the music truck. It drives around in the summer and plays music for people." Yeah...really-annoying-I-want-to-pluck-the-drums-directly-from-my-ears kind of music. But we'll see if it works.

My calendar reminded me today that it's time to post my 3 month update on my measurements. If they haven't changed, I'm going to shove this Fitbit into a coconut and blast it to the moon.

Happy Champagne Friday! The liquor store at the front of our neighborhood sells moonshine. That may be just enough reason for Moonshine Mondays...

Wednesday, June 5, 2013


Last published on March 29th? Is that right? And it's...uh..June the 4th. That's awesome. I give myself 2 high fives and a double-handed pat on the back for being so dedicated to my writing space.'s no wonder I feel like my mind is being pulled in one direction while my imagination in another and my opinions in yet another.

The biggest and most recent change is a PCS to Ft. Knox, KY over Memorial Day weekend. We have a lovely 3-bedroom ranch with a yard and enough room for all of our furniture plus an elliptical, which arrived today and I've already been on twice. It's my goal to lose at least 30 pounds before transitioning it to a drying rack for Blue's diapers. The story behind this house and how it came to be ours (as opposed to the one down the street) is a post for another day. But let's just say that the entire situation brought into crystal clear focus the difference between men and women (my response: "I'm going to sit down and email him a piece of my mind" and Neal's: "No. Don't say a word. Just let him think that we're still coming.")

So, we're home...for 3 years, give or take. Every PCS has an adjustment period, some longer than others. But with each move, there is a level of excitement about the new town, the new dining options, the new friendships to be made, the new experiences that await us in an unknown corner of the world. I feel none of that here. I have many other feelings, but nothing close to excitement or wonderment, even. Something as small as "I'm going to the grocery store today. It's called Martin's. I've never been to a Martin's" has become "I have to go to Kroger. Be back later." I know Kroger. I used to bag their groceries and pay union dues. Nothing new awaits me at Kroger.

A cursory search on Trip Advisor of our surrounding area told me that for any non-chain restaurants, we will have to drive to Bardstown, about 30 minutes away. There is one German restaurant on the main drag of our ville, but our first visit was an atrocious experience and it will take a fierce hankering for wiener schnitzel to convince me to go back. There is a county museum, a tiny downtown area and a LOT of pawn shops. There is also a Walmart that should be featured on Call of the Wildman, if it hasn't yet. I've been honked at multiple times (apparently I should be anticipating that green light), cut off, and barreled past. I get it...I have out-of-state tags, but I also have an ginormous UK magnet on my tiny little Prius. So maybe assume it's not my first time to this neck of the woods?

And this last piece is more indicative of my need for attention than anything else. When we were living in Virginia, Blue was like a person magnet. Even during our trip up to NYC before the move, people would literally stop us on the street and tell me what a great face he has. Half the staff at the Empire State Building swooned over him. And he is pretty damn cute. He's got fantastic blue eyes and cherub cheeks and he's quite smiley. Plus, he picked up this waving thing last month and all of that together sends most people right over the edge. But not here. Here people are in a hurry and checking their phones and may or may not run their grocery cart right over top of you if it looks like you're going to arrive at the check-out first. No one really smiles and there is no chatting with the cashiers. No small talk, no jokes about kumquats. It's kind of like everyone is just very tired of the military. We have invaded their town (most notably when they brought the Human Resources Command for the entire US Army to Ft. Knox a few years ago and thousands upon thousands of Soldiers and dependents along with it) and they are just annoyed that we keep showing up. Or that we aren't going away. Or both. And I get that. Military families can be large, they can be demanding, and they are almost always opinionated. They often have high expectations. I guess we're just too much of too much. I would probably be annoyed, too.

But it has been a remarkable adjustment. I've lived a slower paced life for over 3 years now. I drive the speed limit, I come to full and complete stops at stop signs, I read the labels on our food, and Blue and I meander our way through Target...often pausing to try on a hat or read through a Sandra Boynton book. Everyone in Georgia and Virginia thought it was charming, but here I just feel like a speed bump. I never realized this is how I used to be. I've been reprogrammed and I didn't even know it.

So, clearly it has been a rough start. We will find a groove, a routine that suits all of us and we will find happiness in this new old corner of the world. But I may start wearing a safety vest when out in public...just so I'm a little harder to plow over.