Friday, July 23, 2010

Champagne Friday and a Real Reason to Celebrate!

via Much More than Mommy

I know, right?? This is my 200th post! It took me over a year, but I finally made it (and let's be honest, March-July were sort of rough months around here). I realize I should be doing some sort of giveaway to mark the occasion and thank you, my loyal readers, for sticking around even after the squid tasting. And I will...someday. I actually just realized this was going to be my 200th post when I logged on to Blogger this afternoon. So much for stalking myself and keeping track of numbers (and yet, oddly, I know exactly how many Facebook friends I have...)

So, thank you for continuing to read and continuing to comment. I would write even if the only reader was me, but you all make it 4739203% more satisfying! (And I'm just wondering...do you all ever write something so good that you go back and read it about 20 times, silently congratulating yourself on how good that was? Oh?? Just me? Awesome.)

On to Champagne Friday, which is dedicated to Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic, who, according to her Facebook status update, has been working for today since Monday.

via Vintage Posters

5. First, a sad note...last Sunday morning, I heard glass crashing. Before I even turned the corner down the hallway, I knew what it was...champagne glasses. More specifically, champagne glasses from our wedding (which are also the ones we drink from each Friday). So, when your mama instructs you to pack away your china and your champagne glasses, otherwise they could get broken...she sort of has a point. But that is, ironically, the very reason for Champagne Friday. Life is too short to save the champagne for weddings and babies. It's also too short to let the china and the champagne glasses collect dust. Yes, they might get broken, but that simply provides an excellent excuse for the purchase of new champagne flutes!

4. Here's a recap from last Saturday's Taste of Warner Robins in a photo montage:
(pictures have been cropped to protect the innocent and the un-sober)
It started out innocently enough...

Then the open bar commenced..(there was quite a line. The bartender suggested double-fisting).

Then, it sort of went...

um....

decidedly downhill....

But we had a raving good time. And we outbid everyone else on a Cuisinart Keurig coffee maker...and still got a good deal (yes, I know...silent auctions aren't about getting a good deal. It's about the charity. I beg you to name one person who doesn't go to a silent auction hoping to get a good deal, though).

3. The top 3 lines from the night:

Allyson: "I just LOVE a man in an eyepatch!"

Neal: "WHY do you INSIST on wearing uncomfortable shoes??" (said with great exasperation)

Dane Cook's Baby Daddy: "That thing is so ugly...if I won a fur vest in an auction, the first thing I would do is put it on eBay!" (said to the guy who, as it turns out, had purchased said fur vest for his wife).

2. Poppy got the hiccups this morning. I was simultaneously entertained and concerned. What an odd feeling.

1. We're headed to Savannah tomorrow! It's a one-day kind of thing...be there before noon, self-guide, and head out after dinner. This is not our first time to this particular rodeo, we just need to get out of town for a bit. And Savannah will do in a pinch, I suppose...

via Oglethorpe University

Have a lovely weekend, bellas!
Cheers!






Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Try a New Food Tuesday: A Teaspoon of Puff Pastry Makes the Squid Go Down

Let me preface this by saying that we love calamari. I mean pink-bloated-hearts-and-rainbows-shooting-out-of-our-eyes LOVE calamari. Extra crispy with marinara or even just a squirt of lemon makes us drool and vibrate. Dried and shredded squid can't be that different, right? It's not deep-fried in a batter of southern goodness and sin...but it is the same animal. It's not like trying dried elephant just because I like frog legs.

Wrong.

So, so very wrong.

Exhibit A:
I'm assuming the characters down the side say something like "if you don't want to vomit in the back of your mouth, do not attempt to eat this. Dried, shredded squid should be reserved for reality show contestants and sadists only." And you know they can fit all of that into 3 characters because that's how they roll in Taiwan. (As I noticed today, there is an exorbitant amount of food packaging in the commissary that is not in English. Five years of French is doing nothing for me right now.)

The ingredient list is simple: squid (yeah, got that from the very first whiff), sugar (really?? No need to be stingy with the sugar, Orchids.), salt, and MSG sorbic acid lactose (yes, that is all one ingredient).

The smell is simple, too: fishy.

After getting busted on my last Try a New Food Tuesday, I've decided to devote a little more time and research (in the form of a quick Wikipedia search) to the food I'm taste-testing.

Dried, shredded squid is a seasoned snack that is most commonly found in Asian countries and Hawaii. True, this stuff was everywhere in Honolulu. More than once it prompted the idea of a Fear Factor Hawaii while we were visiting Princess Pomtini. It is also referred to as sun-dried squid and cuttlefish. This MSG-laden snack was most often consumed in Japan, as an accompaniment to alcohol (hey, beer nuts are not for everyone) until someone decided the English didn't know what they were missing. I would have to say that this would go down much more smoothly if there was beer (or vodka) involved.




Neal thinks so, too.


Anticipating a lingering fishy taste, I decided that we would need something to wash this down with, so I picked up these.

While I am reserving the full description for next Tuesday, let's just say they are layers of puff pastry, shaped like a pretzel. YUMSTERS!

I now realize that I need to devise a rating scale for Tuesdays. Surferwife has margaritas, Salt has an unrevealed rating scale for her new recipe blog...I should follow suit. While I think on it, I will simply say that if you like beef jerky with an aroma of Pacific Ocean, this could be the snack for you. If not, add sake and try again.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Champagne Friday (or Why Neal and Shaun T Are Trying to Kill Me)


Happy Champagne Friday!

And I apologize for this entire post being in italics...nothing technology-related is working for me today. This afternoon, Facebook just up and deleted a whole thread of emails between me and a friend of mine. Now, Blogger won't let me NOT use italics...which is kind of frustrating because italics is how I emphasize.

I'd like to buy 4 capital letters, please, Vanna.

C-R-A-P.

Thank you.

Anyway...on with this Friday's Top 5:

5. I didn't die this week.

I don't really think I've lost any weight or tightened anything up, per se....but my muffin top kind of aches and everything from the hips, down, sort of burns when I sit (or stand...or walk...) so I consider that a good sign. Something MUST be changing because I'm usually only sore in my muffin top after coming out of my Spanx.

I'm sorry...I can't resist....I had to Google "Spanx" to make sure I was spelling it right and the first result was advertising Spanx for Men. It looks like this:

via The Fashion Police

Apparently, this is referred to as the "Manx" or a "Mirdle"...take your pick. Personally, I prefer The Saturday Night Special....

Anyway...where was I?? Oh yes...Insanity. I am almost certain that I've never worked out before. Even as a Spinning instructor. I do not sweat in a Spinning class like I've been sweating in our second bedroom. Every time I think I'm going to die and every time I make it through. But this landscape is bound to change so we're pushing through to week 2!

4. Neal didn't die this week.

More specifically, he didn't die when, as I was lying on the bed, pathetically protesting another Insanity workout just as Mother Nature was punching my girl-dom parts with her gold knuckles, he said:

"Aw! you just gotta suck it up! Power through!" (followed by some sort of pumping action with his fist. I'm not sure what the fist thing was. I was temporarily blinded by fury.)

People have died for less. And gotten away with it.

Please don't tell me to "suck it up" when a stuffed pig ain't got nuttin' on me.

Thankyouverymuch.

3.
Lovely, yes? This is my accessory for the Taste of Warner Robins tomorrow night. I found and fell in love with a beautiful, deep purple, silk dress at Ross and strung this up to go with it. I fought like Hell to add a third row of smaller pearls but it was simply not working out. I'm finishing the bracelet tonight. Pictures to follow next week, I'm sure.

2. As I mentioned, The Taste of Warner Robins is tomorrow night and I'm ubernuts excited. Lots of food...open bar...silent auction...live auction...did I mention open bar? I know...as Neal has already reminded me, the last time I got all giddy over an open bar at a fundraiser, I ended up flashing my bra in more than one picture, making an indecent proposal to an Executive Judge, and puking in someone's lawn. (But that someone did live next door to a Denny's, so I'm thinking that probably happens a lot). I promise to be on my best behavior. Besides, I don't know how to get vomit out of silk.

1. BFFFF Curly Sue and her BoyToy, BarBQue, are in town this weekend visiting her parents and us. Actually, BarBQue is MUCH more than a BoyToy...but we'll just leave it at that until he hits a knee. They are coming over Sunday night for dinner and then who knows what will take place...Drunken Wii? Drunken Pictionary? Drunken Rummy? Chances are....there will be drinks involved. And y'all came through for me this week with Lisa @ Pickles and Cheese's Cherry Firecrackers (alcohol + Pop Rocks = adult fun without the risk of losing a limb) and Micah @ The Yellow Front Door's Sangria recipe (it is seriously the easiest Sangria recipe I've ever seen). If we are sober Sunday night, it is absolutely our own fault.

I hope that you all have a fantabulous weekend full of the people and activities that you love. See ya on da flip side!
Cheers!


Thursday, July 15, 2010

I'm Famous!....Sort of...

Imagine my surprise as I was reading comments on Tuesday's Try a New Food, Diana's Bananas version, to find the owner of Diana's Bananas had commented on my blog!

It went like this:

We're really happy that you tried and seemed to enjoy Banana Babies, their taste and nutrition and their ability to generate a great deal of fun!
Sincerely,
Bob Carmody
Owner, Diana's Bananas, Inc.
PS: We're in grocery stores all over the U.S.

I think I may have blacked out in my chair for a few seconds.

Unlike some of my lovely readers, looking at you, Blue Violet, I don't receive stuff in the mail to review. That has actually never happened. And rightfully so. I only write a review once a week and it has to be something that I found in the commissary. I'm not all that shocked that my daily mail consists of Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons and water bills. But I was shocked that the owner of Diana's Bananas, Mr. Bob Carmody, actually sat down and took time out of his day to comment on my blog. Y'all know I'm a freak about customer service. Fifteen years in the customer service business will do that to a person. And I have to say, even though I don't much care for bananas in general, Diana's Bananas just moved WAY up on my Things I Love list.

I am slightly chagrined by the way I reviewed Banana Babies because I did not really think anyone of any real significance to the company would read it. I was just making some honest statements about the taste, the look...which, really, can't be ignored by someone like me. Or, apparently, any of you. And not being one to believe everything I read, I decided to Google Mr. Bob Carmody...just to see if he really was who he said he was.

This is Bob Carmody:
via Bob Carmody's LinkedIn profile

First of all, he's in a flight suit standing in front of an aircraft that looks like something that flies over my house on an hourly basis. As someone who lives less than a mile from the landing strip at Robins AFB, I am so squealy that Mr. Bob Carmody is in a flight suit. I have no idea why...his profile indicates that he's been in the food production industry for most of his life. But it makes me happy.

And yes, it does list him as the owner of Diana's Bananas, "World's Best Chocolate Covered Frozen Bananas."

So, now that Mr. Carmody has invested a little time in Magnolias & Mimosas, please allow Magnolias & Mimosas to invest a little more time in Mr. Carmody. (And for the record, when I Googled him, it returned many links for bloggers that had reviewed his product and he had, in turn, commented on their post. I simply love it when a business owner understands social media and refuses to shrug it off as a trend.)

According to Diana's Bananas Facebook page, the company was founded on a whim, as most good companies are. In the mid-80's, Mr. Carmody was hosting a booth at The Taste of Chicago (which I've been to, uh....a few years after the mid-80's...and I would highly recommend it). He began to think about the idea of freezing a fresh, ripe banana and then bathing it in their chocolatier-grade melted bar chocolate. Then he says, "We each took a bite and passed it around. Our taste buds leapt for joy...and we sprung into action."

I love it when a man uses the phrase "leapt for joy." You don't hear it often.

He goes on to say, "Our team personally selects only fully ripe, creamy, sweet ripe bananas, which we quick freeze to -20 degrees Fahrenheit. The result is an easy-to-bite banana with texture so smooth, you'll think you're eating ice cream."

I think the commissary keeps their coolers a little too chilly because I didn't get creamy...I got sort of icy...but that's the military for you. Everything is just a little to the extreme.

Mr. Carmody also pointed out that they are available in grocery stores all over the country, although none of you have seen Diana's Bananas. So, please use this store locator link on the company's website to find the one closest to you if you're all frothy at the mouth right now for a frozen, dipped banana.

So, thank you, Mr. Carmody for putting your product in the commissary (you clearly have some link to the military...5 stars for that!) and good luck to you and Diana's Bananas....although you seem to be making your own luck and spinning your own success, one blog at a time. Bloggers have big mouths and big opinions. Kudos to you for taking advantage of it!

And seriously....chocolatier-grade melted bar chocolate and raspberries?? I have it on good authority that raspberries are the new banana....

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Try a New Food Tuesday: They Froze WHAT??

I apologize for my tardy posting of today's Try a New Food Tuesday. I, on a whim, decided to join Neal for lunch in Macon and then we, on a whim, decided to join Neal's coworker, Chief HasNoRhythm and his wife, Diva V, for lunch at Sticky Fingers. Diva V lobbied hard for my rib/pulled pork combination plate to be today's feature. But I had already been to the commissary to purchase this box of frozen goodness and they may not last a whole week until next Tuesday rolls back around.

I'm not sure if this is a deep south thing, a Georgia thing, or an Army thing...but I have never seen Diana's Bananas Banana Babies. They are frozen and chocolate-covered bananas...on a stick. And I know what you all are thinking. Even you, Kallay! Naughty girl.

I don't particularly care for bananas. It is absolutely a texture/stringy thing. And they taste like chalk in the roof of my mouth. But Neal eats one every morning sliced up on his oatmeal, so I thought this would be fun for both of us. I get a hard chocolate shell and he gets the frozen banana. (That's going to be an extra 10 minutes of Insanity...but so worth it.)

In case you had doubts, Diana of Diana's Bananas would like you to know that she has the world's best chocolate-dipped frozen treat! I think Klondike would have something to say about that....

This is what the world's best chocolate-dipped frozen treat looks like after it's been out of the box and left to fend for itself in the Georgia humidity. (Incidentally, this is also what our windows looks like every morning after the AC has run all night and what my sunglasses do as soon as I step out the door.)

This was right after I told him that we had to re-take the picture because his eyes were closed in absolute frozen banana bliss in the first. And he was not giving up his hard chocolate shell!

I have sooooo many hysterical and raunchy things I could say about the frozen banana...and sucking until, well...nevermind...but I have too many readers from the Baby Boomer Generation who read this. Not that they would get offended, they just think I'm more pure than that. So, let's maintain, shall we?

The frozen banana was OK. It's not worth the extra 10 minutes of Insanity for me. Now, if that was a chocolate-dipped frozen raspberry Shaun T. and I would have to negotiate.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Happy Champagne Friday! Before Noon, Even!

Actually, this is all about me procrastinating. And the fact that a limb the size of a small tree fell from a much larger tree in our yard this week and the lawn guys decided this morning at 8 AM was the perfect time to chop it up and take it away. Did I mention said log was right outside my bedroom window? But I've already been very productive. I inhaled some hazelnut coffee, caught up on email, took a pregnancy test (it was negative, so you can bet your sweet ass there will be champagne tonight. And maybe sushi and perhaps even sprouts on my salad) and taken pictures of my office.

Why did I take pictures of my office, you ask?

Because I'm finally participating in the International Workspace Tour, conducted by my girl Cher @ The Only Girl!!

So, without further ado, here is the office of Daisy & Elm, LLC!

I do not have the mad photoshop skillz that Cher, Jess, and Salt have...actually I'm not even sure how to draw arrows on things...so I shall just draw your attention via written word. It's what I'm best at, anyway.

This is the office. I think it's supposed to be a bedroom, but 4 bedrooms with 2 people is 2 too many...unless I was a hoarder...which I certainly am not. I am, however, a whore for plastic, labeled bins. Yay for plastic! It may be turning all of our boys into girls, but it makes organizing a breeze! And that dark spot in the middle is Poppy. I was going to move her for the photo session, but this is must more realistic. She would be a great beader...if only she had thumbs.

This is my project board and the best idea I've ever had. The containers are over-sized spice containers with magnets on the back from IKEA. The ones at the top are custom orders. The ones at the bottom are ideas that I've had. Usually, this board is on the wall...but the hangers never made the move. Do you know how hard it is to find just hangers for dry erase boards?? Hey Staples, that was not easy!

And here sits the tacklebox of beads. Big Boops has make-up in hers, I have beads. I actually spilled out of the tacklebox a long time ago, but it does hold a majority of what I have. And it's all color-coded. *swoon*
Allyson and Roy G. Biv sittin' in a tree....

I do love the view outside my office window. It's of our backyard and, as I previously mentioned, it's wildfreakin'kingdom out there. Cardinals and squirrels and feral cats, oh my! Clearly, Poppy is amused. This is the best scenario, she can see them but can't catch them. I think if she ever caught a living thing besides a palmetto bug (where she is 568% bigger than it), she would stroke out.

The scrapbooking magic happens here. And I just noticed this morning that Neal has put a fire extinguisher next to my Cricut. I guess he is concerned about a craft-related emergency. I hate it when my pages are so good they spontaneously combust.

This is the photography studio, which used to be in another room at the old house. I do like the convenience of creating something and then swiveling in my chair to photograph it. Handy like W.C.

Poppy was eager to point out that I was almost forgetting my latest love....I got a Floozy Koozie from Foxy's Etsy store, Down With Knit! Actually, I custom-ordered it because I wanted something with pink camo, to celebrate my new role as married to the active Army. I have a second one that she made...but Beloved Sister has that one. I heart my Floozy Koozie and it gets used a lot.

And last...

A dresser that my grandfather refinished, topped with photos from Keeneland Racing meets in Lexington and the glass head I've had since the summer of my senior year in high school. The dresser holds everything that the closets cannot (someday I will show you the closet we used to have and the the closet we've involuntarily downgraded to here). I found the glass head at Pier One when I was 17 and instantly fell in love. It was the week after graduation so I still had a wad of Graduation Cash burning a hole in my Wal-Mart purse. It was the perfect purchase. My roommate and BFFFF loved it, too. He sat on the mantle and sported baseball caps in the summer, a Santa hat at Christmas, bunny ears at Easter...and everything in between. Now he sits in my office and keeps eye over the crafting process. I'm sure at some point it will no longer be feasible to tote The Glass Head everywhere we move, but I do consider him family now. We've been together for 14 years!

Thanks for stopping by and Happy Champagne Friday! If you want to do your own International Workspace Tour, make sure to let Cher know so she can link you up on her blog!

Cheers!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The Definition of Insanity

So, as we all learned on Tuesday, there is a reason why Neal came home from a month in the desert the same size (and maybe a few pounds lighter) and I'm having trouble zipping up my skirts now. M.R.E.'s are less delicious than a Bacon and Bleu cheeseburger from Wendy's (which are phenomenal. If you like bleu cheese, this is the way to go!) followed by a limeade from Sonic during their Happy Hour. As we were preparing for a motorcycle ride on the 4th of July, I came to the abrupt realization that the past month had not gone as I had intended. I took my stability ball and bands to Kentucky so that I could continue to work out while I was home. I even had my former co-worker and Pilates instructor come over for a class in my empty house. And then I stopped. I went to breakfast with friends, lunch with friends, and dinner with friends. And the apple-shaped Allyson grew and grew and grew...so much so that when my husband said, "put on your jeans, we're going for a ride," instead of bouncing happily into the bedroom to change and thinking about how great my ass would look on the back of that bike, I wondered if I could just wear sweats instead. Over-sized Army sweats.

I was lamenting this to him as we toured the gardens in Ft. Valley last Sunday, roasting in my dark denim and extra layers of fat protection, when he said, "well, you're in luck because guess what's coming next week." Oh, guessing games. Yip. Ee.

"An elliptical?"
"No."
"A Pilates machine?"
"No."
"A personal trainer and personal chef who will live in our back 2 bedrooms?"
"No."
"What then???"
"Insanity!"

Google Images

Gggrrrreeeeaaatttt.....won't this be fun?

Now, let me just say that yes, I have a degree in Kinesiology and yes, I was a fitness director/group fitness instructor/personal trainer for a number of years...but I believe in exercise in moderation. I don't think the entire world is meant to have 8 pack abs and actual arm definition. And I've never seen either one of those things on me (which may or may not have anything to do with the whipped cream I put in my coffee at breakfast or the ice cream I have after dinner every evening). I was always the chunkiest one at the fitness conferences, but I saw myself as healthier, not fatter. I did not have an unhealthy relationship with food...we knew how to co-mingle in the world very well, as a matter of fact. And I could teach back-to-back Spinning classes and finish it off with a Pilates class and still have energy left over to lift. I was in shape...just not skinny. I have a feeling this about to change all of that.

I did the Fitness Test last night. Granted, I had already done 30 minutes on the Wii Gold's Boxing game...but I kind of thought I was going to die in my living room and the cats would gnaw off half my face before Neal came home to find me. In preparation for today's workout, we watched the DVD in bed last night. It looks hard. And by hard, I mean whatever is four stages beyond impossible. But if I die, Neal will have to find a new woman who puts up with that throat-clearing thing he does in the shower. And that's probably not going to happen....so maybe he'll stop the DVD before my heart gives out.

Maybe I'll have 8-pack abs and cellulite-free legs at the end of 60 days. Or maybe I'll get pregnant and won't have to do any of it. I'm kind of OK with either. There are demons to face in both scenarios and neither will be easy. But perhaps I could lose baby 1 fat before baby 2 comes...

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Try a New Food Tuesday: Just Add Water

As promised, this week I am trying an M.R.E. (AKA Meals Ready to Eat...AKA Field Food...AKA I was eating way better than Neal for the entire month of June). I was under the absurd impression that just add water meant that it was all dehydrated and that after adding water, the meal would expand to its typical size...sort of like those dinosaur sponges you used to win at the county fair. Not so. And, for the first time, this is actually much more fascinating.

Today's lunch: Spicy Penne Pasta with peanut butter, crackers, lemon-lime "Gatorade" and almond poppyseed spongecake. Mmm!!

Just add water...

This is everything laid out. Everything in brown is food, the green package is the "oven", and the clear baggie contains apple cider mix, a fresh moist towelette, salt, pepper, toilet paper (for those who have to go right after they eat), and a pack of matches (for those who have to go explosively right after they eat).

The first step is to take the main course, which is spicy penne pasta today, and stick it in the heating packet. The white pouch at the bottom looks a lot like a ThermaCare Heat Wrap, but heats water instead of flesh.

In the field, I would have a canteen with water for preparing the meal. On the floor of my office, I have a plastic bottle of water. After doing this entire experiment, we realized it would have been much more realistic if we'd found a bush or something to squat by.

The next part all happens very fast. As soon as you pour the water in, the chemical reaction begins and you have about -4.5 seconds to roll the end of the cooking pouch and stuff it in the original box that the main course came in. Then you shove it against something solid because the pouch will begin to expand as the steam is released. There is also steam coming out the other end. My fingers didn't stay there very long. The entire heating process takes about 10 minutes.

While my penne cooked, Neal suggested I fix an appetizer of peanut butter and crackers. Really, all I'm missing at this point is the white linen tablecloth.

All that peanut butter clinging to the roof of my mouth sent me searching for my powdered drink mix. Lemon-lime...one of my least favorite flavors but hey, I'm down in the bunker, watchin' for insurgents and shooting everything that moves. Lemon-lime is the least of my problems. One of my more pressing problems is the colostomy bag they give you to drink from. Seriously, the Army can up-armor humvees but can't create a collapsible cup. Whassup with that?

Again, imagine my UK blue patio cup is actually a metal canteen with a camouflage cover. Thankyouvermuch.

And, apparently, I'm supposed to be using my field knife to open all of these packets, but craft scissors seem to be working just fine for me. Does that NOT look like the catheter bag of a very dehydrated patient??

And there I go drinking it...because GI Jane ain't got nuttin on me. Also...there is still peanut butter stuck in the roof of my mouth.

Oh! Lunch is ready! And a bonus freebie facial.

It looks exactly like Chef Boyardee...and actually, it tastes exactly like Chef Boyardee...if Chef Boyardee started adding red pepper chili flakes to their food, that is.

Neal says that the dried fruit is for a mid-afternoon snack. I don't personally eat cranberries, unless they are liquified and mixed with vodka...but I can see how these would be a lovely 4PM pick-me-up.

Dessert is almond poppyseed spongecake and it was not that bad. A little dry, maybe...but there's always the I.V. bag full of green juice to wash it down.

What's left over...the apple cider, moist towelette, toilet paper, salt, pepper, matches, and gum (which, according to Neal, is used for cleaning your teeth. In the 4 years we've been married, I can count the number of times I've seen Neal chew gum on two fingers...but maybe it's different in the field).

When the meal is over, you put everything back in the bag and pack it back to camp. Neal says you do this to keep the enemy from knowing how many soldiers there are traveling together and to keep them from knowing how well you're eating. If you're eating palmetto bugs and drinking your own urine, you may have less to live for than if you're dining on penne pasta and spongecake.

I have to say that it's been almost 3 hours since lunch and I'm still not the least bit hungry. Maybe all of my meals should be 1000 calories each.

Monday, July 5, 2010

My Friends Call Me M'Lynn

...as in Steel Magnolias. Because my husband has declared war on the vermin in the backyard...namely, squirrels. Squirrels are plentiful and unafraid here on base. They play in the road and dare you to roll over them at your whopping 15 m.p.h. They leap from tree to tree and, apparently, LOVE to eat from the birdfeeder. And therein is the rub. Remember this?

Pluck You Too

Well, that's what it like with Neal around here. The only thing he's missing is the gun and the Grandpa sweater vest. He does, however, have duct tape and I caught him banging on the back door this morning, yelling, "I AM GOING TO GET YOU, YOU...RAT!" He thinks squirrels are basically rats with bushy tails and frequently says that people wouldn't comment about how cute they are if they didn't have the bushy tail. So, that's what's going on around here this weekend. I'm drinking Southern Lemonade by Firefly and Neal's booby trapping the bird feeder so that only God's creatures with wings can access it.

Et tu?

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Best Things Come to Those Who Wait

Yesterday was a blur. When Neal was in California, he was on California-time....which is, what? Mountain time? Mountain Standard Time? Pacific Standard Time? Hammer Time? I can't remember. All I know is he was 3 hours behind me. So, when he finished his evening briefings around 10 PM, I got a call at 1 AM. I will never be one to discourage the phone calls. Most military wives I know sleep with their phone rightnext to their heads all night when their husbands are mobilized. I am convinced that, just as Agent Orange was discovered to cause all sorts of unsightly medical issues, the incidence of brain cancer in military wives will skyrocket in 10-20 years. Anyswisscheesebrain, I took these phone calls which then put me on California time. Except that I still live in Georgia. While Neal adjusted to Eastern Standard Time in about 3 days, I'm still lying awake until 2 AM and getting up at 10:30 AM. 10:30 is almost noon, which would mean that I had literally slept half the day away. I'm hoping that I will get all of this straightened out this weekend. Although, weekends around here are not traditionally known for their routine and highly disciplined ways. There is a lot of falling asleep on the couch and eating the waffles left over from breakfast for dinner.

So, I slept until 10 AM yesterday and then had to rise and shine and get the shopping before the weekend started. Class 6 (our liquor store on base) had a line that snaked back to the gin aisle. And the commissary...oh the commissary...apparently no one went to work yesterday. They all went to the commissary. All of this to say, I ran out of hours in the day for Champagne Friday. Again. But at least I'm celebrating this week...as opposed to the last 5 where I just totally forgot about it all together.

But here it is anyway...a day late..but the best things come to those who wait:

Happy Champagne Friday...er...Saturday!!
and...The Top 5:

1. This is The Big Butter Jesus before he was struck by lightening and burned to the ground. I'm SURE this was covered by multiple blogs when it first happened, but that was during my Army-induced absence and I didn't get to fully embrace it here at M&M. RIP, Big Butter Jesus. And Dear Dayton, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it's nothing personal. God isn't speaking to you via weather. But just in case, maybe you should just stick a big cross up like everyone else.

2. The Big Butter Jesus flambe.
Note to self: NEVER make a giant statue with arms extended to the sky out of steel bars and plaster. Bad idea.

3. The necklace I was asked to...ahem...re-create, using black and red beads, in addition to the silver. Which is NOTHING like theft of an idea.

4. My creation...which, again...is nothing like this piece. It is original...because it's black and red and silver. See the logic?

5. Happy 4th of July!! Have a wiener. Have two. Wash it down with a twist-off bottle of champagne and think of me. The Captain and I are headed off to the pool! Ciao, bellas!