Thursday, December 17, 2009

An Ode to Neal (minus the rhyming)

I have been accused, occasionally, of...let's see...I think they call it "not having Neal's back" on my blog. As in, when he does something even remotely amusing/embarrassing/man-like, I blog about it. Yes, I know...shocker. And this is true. If you're new to Magnolias and Mimosas, then there's a chance that you missed this, this, and, please enjoy...I don't mean for it to happen, it just sort of does. He's very witty and clever and sometimes clueless and let's face it, that makes for excellent blogging material. I mean, Seinfeld didn't become an instant hit because Elaine had such great hair. These real life situations are much funnier than anything I could create in my head - even though it is a hall of mirrors up there....

So, as an early Christmas present to my dahling husband, here are 25 reasons why you make my life jolly, jovial and just ho-ho-holy mackerel amazing everyday (one for each day leading up to Christmas for those of you too blitzed on eggnog to put it together...not judging...I'm just sayin'....And it's not a "Top 25" because I've always felt like that put way too much pressure on #1 to be the very best and that's just not fair. I mean would you want the weight of being the best of 25 resting squarely on your shoulders? Miss California can tell's no picnic.) So, in no particular order:

  • You always thank me for doing your laundry. I'm not sure why. It's not like I have to scrape them down or even turn them inside-out before throwing them in. You have the most low-maintenance laundry of anyone I've ever known.
  • When I ask you seemingly innocuous questions which really stem from deep-seeded jealousy, you get right to the point. As in "no, honey, that's a divider in the email...not my boss sending me a dozen little kisses."
  • Every morning, my monkey-on-crack-cat, LuLu, sleeps in your lap while you check email and read the paper online. This is a drastic change from when we first moved in and I'm pretty sure there is no place on earth that she would rather be.
  • Your honesty is astounding. If you don't will simply say "I don't know." I can probably list on one hand the number of people I know personally who can admit to not having the answer. Of course, there is the other 90% of the time when you just make up crap to see if I'll question it.
  • My new laptop came equipped with a 16" LED screen. Instead of asking me to not blog, read blogs, and play Tiger Woods video games in bed until 1 AM, you simply say "let me roll over so I can get some sun on my back tonight."
  • You will watch hours and hours of History Channel with me when I know you'd rather be watching HGTV. It's hard to redecorate with WWII knowledge and I appreciate your sacrifice.
  • When my scrapbooking/beading supplies take over your desk, you simply move over...sometimes that's to the floor...the same goes for the bed and the walk-in closet (and dresser, now that I think about it). I love that about you. In the future, I will try not to be so expansive.
  • I have not cleaned a toilet since I moved in...and yet they grow no funk. It is for that, perhaps, that I am most grateful. I don't know what lives in there, but I'm pretty sure I want no part of it.
  • You have eaten hockey-puck-hamburgers and hypertension-laced french fries - all with a smile on your face. But I'd have to say we've come a long way from stir-fry 3 nights/week.
  • After a few post-wedding "discussions," you've called me every night on your way home from work. I can't always answer, but (and J-Lo said it best) you're always on time.
  • You carry things that are heavy...whether it's a cooler, a TV or my emotional baggage. I will try to pack lighter. Bag lady is not a good look for me.
  • Everyday, regardless of rain or shine, ice or snow, I get to park in the garage. I waited 14 years to park in a covered space, in a scrape-free zone. I think about it every morning that I am able to leave within 2 minutes of getting into my car.
  • Not once have you complained about the thinning of your wardrobe. Whether you knew it was time to release those mock turtlenecks into the wild or not, you have never questioned me or the replacements that I bring to you (specifically the puffy vest from Land's End and the Rascal Flatts-wanna-be button-down).
Wow that's 13 and it's midnight. Perhaps we should continue the festivities as a Part II tomorrow. I've never been one for a mini-series but this is too much goodness to squeeze into one day. Besides, Neal deserves 2 days as I seem to have taken over everything else.


  1. you have an award awaiting you. i know. i know. you're excited. don't lie. (it's on my blog... no other clues)

    you and your hubby are just adorable. i especially love that he lets you park in the garage. what a gentleman.

  2. awww! This is cute. And I might steal the idea. Probably not though because I would lose interest after about 8 or 9. And have I mentioned my husband is Bob? Neal and Bob. hehehe.

  3. I like it! What a sweet list... and what an OBVIOUSLY sweet hubby you have! Not to mention unintentionally funny (from the 3 previous posts - LOVE the made-up words)!! You know, i don't think I've ever heard my husband utter the words "I don't know" - he always makes crap up and I have to call him on it. Every single time.

    I just might have to do the same for my hub.... it was such a great idea.


That's it, let it all out....