Dear Halcomb/Mason Gene Pool:
I have a bone to pick with you. Yesterday morning as I was shaving my legs in the shower, I noticed something. There were the usual team of dimples, exactly where they have always been since sometime after college graduation and the tiny red lines that jut out from the creases on the side of my knees. However, there is now a congregation of blue lines that are much larger and cover a vast space behind my knees...yes, both of them. If I happen to figure out which interstate they most resemble, I'm sure to be rich and famous. I will make lots of money from Rand McNally and GPS systems will include the backs of my legs in their annual map updates. I know that I can only blame this on my genes. I have seen the legs of the women in my family and I know that I am destined for vein clinics and pants. So to my gene pool I would just like to say "thanks a freakin lot!! Had the Ghost of Ropey Veins Future come to visit, I would have bought every miniskirt this side of the Mississippi before my time ran out. I would have worn Daisy Dukes every day, even in frozen months. But nooooo....you just had to let me find this out on my own. Should broom skirts happen to fall back into fashion, it would serve you right!"
On a somewhat related note, I bought a shirt at Sam's Club yesterday. Actually, I should say I bought a shirt again at Sam's Club. I already own this shirt, but in a cream color. I really love it - it's lightweight and hides the accruing baby fat, so I bought another...in blue. So, to that I say:
You would be so proud. I now have 2 of the EXACT same shirt..just different colors. Seeing as I am doing this at the youthful age of 30, I suspect that by the time I reach my mother's age, I will actually own an entire wardrobe of 4 pieces. And the question of nature vs. nurture remains unanswered...