Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Getting all nostalgic for a decade I don't remember

Three copies of Pretty in Plaid: $60.00 (thanks to the B&N discount card)
Cooler full of Coke Zero Cherry and Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry: $5.00
Gas to get us to Nashville and back: $50.00
Woven gold belt, black leggings, stilletos, huge hoop earrings, a skirt that I would normally never wear in public and a can of White Rain: $8.00 (because our Goodwill ROCKS!)

Hearing Jen Lancaster read from her new book Pretty in Plaid....
and showing her our '80's?? PRICELESS!!

We heart Jen Lancaster. We heart her so much that we are willing to put a sinful amount of product in our hair in an effort to make it hover horizontal for at least 3 hours. We heart her so much that I ran out of blue eye shadow. But it was all worth it. Jen's new book, Pretty in Plaid explores her childhood, at least how she chooses to remember it. And that's fine. I will swear to this day that I have never been to a circus and that Melanie Hockensmith held me down and cut my hair. She waxes nostalgic about earning Girl Scout badges and going on road trips with her family...all of it with the typical Jen-sarcasm-meets-tear-inducing-laughter qualities that make it OK to read chick lit. I was actually more excited to meet Jen than I was to read her new book. She was bigger than life for me - like Epcot or Alex, the Kroger butcher. I couldn't wait to tell her about how she had saved my sanity during a long and arduous deployment. I wanted to shower her with praise about how wonderful her books were. What came out was: "gosh, you're so great...saved my life, y'know. My husband (gasping for air)...deployed..read your book...all happy now." And bless her heart, she just went along for the ride. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Is he home now?" she asked. "Huh? Oh, yeah...home." "Good. How long is he home for?" I never really know how to answer this question because it's not like the Army issues us a calendar each year with 13-month deployments marked in the margins. "Oh, I'm not sure... y'know.. Obama.." and then she says "yeah" and we smile, take the picture and off we go. What's so ridiculous about this is I voted for Obama. And up until the whole "tax you until you can't see straight" extravaganza, I was head conductor of the O Train. Even now, I think he's doing a better than average job. And yet, I threw our beloved President under the bus for a laugh out of Jen Lancaster. So, if any of the Big O staff happens to be reading this, sorry about that.

After the signing, we headed back to the hotel to tame the hair and put on something less whore-ific; although as it turns out that wasn't really necessary to cruise downtown Nashville. Had we stayed dressed, we may have felt a little more comfortable hitting up Graham Central Station. Maybe next time. All in all, it was well worth the trip. But I think next time I see Jen, I think I'll just bring along the champagne-in-a-can.

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