Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Klassy Like a Buick

Sometime after New Year's, Salt posted a picture of her at a party, swiggin' "champagne" from a brown paper bag. Personally, I think the shape and size of that bag had Olde English written all over it...but I'm not a hater so we'll just let it go. I then promised pictures from our wedding night where I was caught doing the same thing, sans bag. To give you a little bit of background...the only ones left standing at this point were me, bestie Queen Elizabeth, RJ, and Neal. Everyone else had crashed out in their respective rooms (or bathrooms, in the case of one couple). Note to self: the next time I get married, do not provide a "wedding house" that sleeps 16...makes it way too easy for people to cash out and crash out before the party even gets started (although in their defense, we had been going since 8 AM. But whatevs...we should have been running naked down the beach and doing the macarena in the ocean). So, Queen E and I were dancing to Tone-Loc on the pool deck, guzzling moscato (which is basically sugar-flavored champagne that will make you feel like death eating a cracker the next day), RJ was lighting firecrackers and Neal was capturing it all on film. So, here ya go, Salt...and anyone else who wants to see me at my klassiest (m'kay...maybe not my klassiest...that would be my 21st birthday and if Queen Elizabeth ever releases those photos there will be retribution and public humiliation. Just remember boys and girls: do not wear a skirt to your 21st birthday party, no matter how cute it is).

At the time, it seems like such a great idea. And then you wake to find your head has exploded right off your body.

You may ask, "what is the most indisputable sign that you've had too much to drink?" When you look like this, my friends. It takes that much concentration to dance (wave yo hands in da air) and drink at the same time. And it's a pretty good indication that you'll be having either White Castle for 4th meal or Sonic for breakfast.

But why drink when you can play with fire? RJ toasts us with a sparkler.

So...there you have it..my wedding in 3 pictures and 400 words or less. Now time to get to work because Champagne Friday will be here before you know it!


  1. LOL. After all the planning to have the perfect hair, the gorgeous dress and the lovely makeup, you thought the perfect complement would be to guzzle from the bottle while on the dance floor.

    sniff, sniff (wiping a tear away). a woman after my own heart.

  2. You know, the more I get to know you, the more I'm finding that we are a lot alike. Haha. At my wedding we had Kegs and some wine, but that was before I liked wine. I was really nervous to walk down the aisle so I pre-drank quite a bit. Obvs it only got worse. I can't even control myself at my own wedding. Haha.

  3. I think we need to start a club. I love the second picture with all my heart. You would think you were trying to solve rocket science with that kind of concentration. Oh AND your WEDDING HAIR. IS. WONDERFUL! It still looks perfect and obviously it is very late in the evening here.

    I'm very afraid of sparklers.

  4. Oh my gosh AWESOME! Glad I'm not the only one that was like that on my wedding day, lol. Pretty sure I swigged some jag at some point too. Wow.

  5. wave yo hands in da air. Perfect. 400 hundred words or less, damn. I like your long posts- I wish I could write more. When I do people just say I'm long winded, not things like, that was a fantastic story

  6. Ok! Officially vowing to drink out of a champagne glass on my wedding day (if there is ever to be one! haha!) and only because you and Salt both look beautiful, even in your klassy moments. I imagine running mascara, a boob out and lipstick schmear if this were my photo so... I think I'll opt out!

    Also... "death eating a cracker" is quite possibly one of my favorite new sayings of yours! Huh-larious.

  7. Hahaha. Good X's it seems like you would have been a fun guest at my 210th Bday party.

    and had i been there, we would have been doing the macarena naked in the ocean.

    and quite possibly single ladies until the sun came up.

  8. I have to really watch my Champagne consumption. I think it's the bubbles that get me! Sounds like a fun and crazy time! :)

  9. WAY too funny!

    I've seen alot of brown bag booze drinkers but never one in a wedding dress.

  10. These have got to be THE BEST wedding pictures EVER... Priceless.

  11. I had to come back and look again... and yes, you are still concentrating!!

  12. But you look so stunning while shitfaced. Really, you have managed to keep your hair and makeup beautiful. And for that I am impressed. I was knocked up when I got married so no drinking from the bottle for moi.

  13. LOVE THIS! I wish I could say I'm this Klassy at weddings but my best friend from HS has images of me drinking from beer pitchers at her wedding reception. Yes pitchers plural. I had one in each hand using them as beer mugs! (Note: The hall we were at let you bring a keg in but you couldn't take it back with you so her father wanted to be sure that bitch was empty before we left her father handed me the pitchers, he didn't expect me to drink them). IT. WAS. AWESOME! I wonder if she has pictures?

    Straight from the bottle is the way to go!

    And what kind of "P's" did you have at this wedding if the bride is still rocking YOU BETTER BE TOO!!!

    I'm impressed by the klass, the perfect still hair do and the fact that you were still going and wanting to party not retire early on your wedding day - it will take more than the ugly lights at my reception to keep me from going! :) You know when that day comes of course.

  14. I love this pic. My SIL did the same thing at her wedding at the end of the night. It's my favorite pic of the whole wedding. Good for you - you were having a good time.


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