Sometime after New Year's, Salt posted a picture of her at a party, swiggin' "champagne" from a brown paper bag. Personally, I think the shape and size of that bag had Olde English written all over it...but I'm not a hater so we'll just let it go. I then promised pictures from our wedding night where I was caught doing the same thing, sans bag. To give you a little bit of background...the only ones left standing at this point were me, bestie Queen Elizabeth, RJ, and Neal. Everyone else had crashed out in their respective rooms (or bathrooms, in the case of one couple). Note to self: the next time I get married, do not provide a "wedding house" that sleeps 16...makes it way too easy for people to cash out and crash out before the party even gets started (although in their defense, we had been going since 8 AM. But whatevs...we should have been running naked down the beach and doing the macarena in the ocean). So, Queen E and I were dancing to Tone-Loc on the pool deck, guzzling moscato (which is basically sugar-flavored champagne that will make you feel like death eating a cracker the next day), RJ was lighting firecrackers and Neal was capturing it all on film. So, here ya go, Salt...and anyone else who wants to see me at my klassiest (m'kay...maybe not my klassiest...that would be my 21st birthday and if Queen Elizabeth ever releases those photos there will be retribution and public humiliation. Just remember boys and girls: do not wear a skirt to your 21st birthday party, no matter how cute it is).
At the time, it seems like such a great idea. And then you wake to find your head has exploded right off your body.
You may ask, "what is the most indisputable sign that you've had too much to drink?" When you look like this, my friends. It takes that much concentration to dance (wave yo hands in da air) and drink at the same time. And it's a pretty good indication that you'll be having either White Castle for 4th meal or Sonic for breakfast.
But why drink when you can play with fire? RJ toasts us with a sparkler.
So...there you have it..my wedding in 3 pictures and 400 words or less. Now time to get to work because Champagne Friday will be here before you know it!