Thursday, April 9, 2009

Serving Tea on the Crazy Train

Because it has consumed me for the past couple of years, I just have to get something off of my chest. Why is it that I attract crazy, and by that I mean "clinically crazy" employers and business owners? I will not be so harsh as to name them; partly because someday somebody may read this and partly because there have been so many that I don't know where to start. I do take some responsibility for the multitude because my employment history fills many pages. I started when I was 17 and have successfully changed jobs almost every year since then. It was quite eye-opening when I had to complete an FBI application for my Military Affairs job. They let you list as many jobs as you could remember. They also let you lists as many residences as you could remember and that was also a stunningly high number. I think I may have been two short of classifying as a legitimate gypsy. So, my nomad lifestyle has lead me to the land of crazy, but now I can't find the Narnia portal to get the hell out. Here is the top 10 things I have learned about the managers, supervisors, and business owners in my past (if you are one of those things and are currently reading this, it may or may not be about you. Which forces me to list an 11th bullet: Paranoia).

1. All of them have a bi-polar personality - the smart ones go ahead and name the other side and refer to it often so underlings are not so shocked when it appears.

2. As humble as they may be, they still want to hear "yes ma'am or yes sir" on a daily basis.

3. A large checking account does not = excellent business owner.

4. Sometimes it becomes glaringly obvious that universities only require 1-2 business classes for any non-business related major.

5. What is considered "acceptable behavior" becomes more gray the higher you climb on that corporate ladder.

6. If you want to succeed, you will have no opinion, no voice, and certainly no political stance on anything.

7. Often people think that they because they reach X amt of years, they have outgrown the "it's all about me" mentality. I'm here to tell you that is not true. Tunnel vision exists all over the place.

8. The people who own businesses were considered "big idea" people in high school. We put them on Prom committees and elected them to club offices. The difference now is that they don't have faculty leaning over them and saying "you can't do that in 2 weeks. It would take 2 years."

9. There are many, many organizations out there who have shepherd-less sheep.

10. This is not true for all managers, supervisors or business owners, but this is how it is in crazy land.

I'm giving it another shot. I would like to get off the train, walk down the sidewalk, and step back through the double-sided mirror onto the terra firma of Logic and Reasoning. I'll let you know how that works out.

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That's it, let it all out....