What I'm Reading: Lake of Dreams

via Overflowing Heart Reviews

Full disclosure: I read both of Kim Edwards books, The Memory Keeper's Daughter and The Lake of Dreams because she was an English professor at the University of Kentucky. Although by the time I arrived at UK, I had already changed my major from English to Telecommunications and therefore never attended her lectures, I bleed blue (as we all know) and fully support a Wildcat when he/she makes it big.

I loved The Memory Keeper's Daughter, but I'm not sure if it was because of the writing or because much of it was set in Lexington and I could identify with the landmarks. It's been many years since I read it so I don't recall much, but I remember liking it and recommending it to others (although it's emotionally difficult to read in certain sections). I wish I could say the same for The Lake of Dreams.

In general, if a book's jacket says anything along the lines of "Susie Jones had it all...the dreamy, doctor boyfriend, a beautiful house on the cape, and a 6-figure income. But then a car bomb brings her world crashing down and all she has left of her dashing beau is a box of mysterious papers. This story of survival, independence and renewal will leave you wanting more long after the last page is turned"...I will immediately start looking for a new book. Unless you're reading about Excel spreadsheet development, every book is about survival and renewal on some level. If there wasn't conflict, there wouldn't be a plot and if there's no growth from that conflict, there wouldn't be a conclusion. But having the perfect life and then having to adjust expectations when everything suddenly disappears is excessively tired in today's literature (and I'm looking at you, chick lit). The only time I will concede to it is when it's side-splitting hysterical, like Jen Lancaster's Bitter is the New Black. Yes, she had everything and yes, she lost everything, but it's how she wrote about the process that made it enjoyable. It's the first time I ever remember laughing aloud (not lol'ing) while reading.

The Lake of Dreams begins with the introduction of Lucy Jarrett, a late 20's hydrologist who lives in Japan with her boyfriend, who she would very much like to make her husband. When her mother takes a fall in her hometown of Lake of Dreams, she fears it could be "the end" and decides to rush home to care for her. It's agreed that Lucy's boyfriend, Yoshi, will follow shortly after a business trip. When Lucy arrives, there is a lot of "everything had changed" and "Wow, you must be so important, you live in Japan," as proclaimed by childhood friends who still lived there...the typical small town response to anyone who travels further than the state line. As Lucy begins to settle into her mom's house, she finds a window seat filled with old family documents and pictures. She immediately begins to unravel the mystery of the papers...the who, when, where, why...and in the process uncovers a secretive past involving her father (who is deceased) and his father.

There is an excellent book review of The Lake of Dreams written here and it's nearly impossible for me to expand or improve upon it. But in a nutshell, there were (for me) only 2 likeable characters in the entire novel: her dead father and her ex-boyfriend who predictably pops up from her past, more successful and handsome than she ever remembers. Edwards builds Lucy's character in about 2 chapters and the entire experience feels rushed. Lucy comes across as needy and obsessively driven to solve the puzzle of her family's past. Combine that with her sudden (and obnoxiously predictable) realizations that serve to move the story forward, and you have a main character who is tolerable at best.

The supporting characters are under-developed, so they were less annoying. It's hard to be bothered by what is unwritten. Lucy's mom, who is chastised by Lucy for moving forward after her husband's death, is actually relatable to the rest of us. She has a boyfriend and enjoys summer evenings with him and a bottle of wine on the front porch. I can actually see myself hanging out with her mom. Lucy's boyfriend, Yoshi, is simply in the story so that she can relay truths she has uncovered and the way she has pieced it all together. He physically arrives on the scene late in the novel and is finally partially developed in the last few chapters. I would have enjoying knowing Yoshi a little bit better. And Lucy's uncle (her father's brother) and cousin are described in a way (and behave in a way) that would be unsavory to anyone. They have no redeeming characteristics. For me, that's just not realistic. Everyone has something that makes them likeable. Even if it's fleeting.

As for the writing, she sometimes fulfilled my desire for expressive, descriptive language. I hated the Twilight books because there was no description of the scent of blood or the sound of a howl. It was simply, "she smelled delicious"...well, so does an apple pie. Did Bella smell like an apple pie? I want a writer to take me there, even if I'm stuck in the dentist lobby with phones ringing and the high-pitch of a drill echoing in the hallway. Sometimes I was there with her, running my hand over brilliant piece of stained glass...and sometimes I was sitting in the dentist lobby, reading about the ripples on the lake and how they...rippled. Edwards is also guilty (which is pointed out by the other review and I had missed - probably because I do the same thing) of describing things in three's. I do everything in three's. I decorate in three's, design jewelry in three's, and (obviously) describe in three's. It's effective occassionally, but can be overwhelming and exhausting. I didn't realize her tactic at the time, I just knew that I was skimming a lot. I hate skimming anything that is not a NY Times article or a textbook. When I read her review, I had my own ah-ha moment.

Lastly, Edwards relies heavily on over-used metaphors...water and rebirth, locks and keys. I would expect more from an English professor, especially a UK English professor. I can only suggest that she sit down with a few Pat Conroy books to see how it should be done.

I can only recommend this as an easy beach read...something to cruise through while you have one eye on the book and one eye on your child building sandcastles. I've constructed my own version of Lake of Dreams in my head and it's really quite lovely. The lake is more like an ocean and the weathered Cape Cod-style homes surround a peaceful, quaint downtown, filled with independently-owned bookstores, coffee shops, and antique markets. My one take-away from the book is that image and how it can restore me to calm when I conjure it up. 

Relatively Wordless Wednesday: Rock the Dress

You're doing WHAT??

What if you have a daughter who wants to wear your dress someday?

But that dress was so expensive. You're going to ruin it.

What about donating it? Think about all of those brides who would LOVE to have that dress on their wedding day. You're being selfish. 

And on and on it went....comment after unsolicited comment on how appalling it was to do a Trash the Dress session. And to be fair, I wasn't trashing it. But I was absolutely going to rock it...5 years and 1 month after I said "I do" in it. There wasn't going to be any paint or ocean water or fire. It was just going to be me and my dress and some boots and some amazing jewelry, perched on a train and lying in the creek and sprawled across a bridge. What could go wrong?

At the day's end, I climbed into the shower, still wearing my dress, and started scrubbing with a brush and some soap. Thirty minutes later, I had a clean dress and a cold shower. It is not ruined. It can be worn again, but I'm not going to have a daughter who will want it. It can be donated. It was expensive but it was purchased for one wedding and worn for another, so really it has almost seen 2 weddings. We got our money's worth. And I have these beautiful images to celebrate the happiest day of my life up to this point. Time to cross #13 off the 101 list.

MANY thanks to Abby of Abby Leigh Photography for this afternoon of posing, laughter, and just general fun (and if you're in the central KY area, be sure to look her up!) She sent me a disc of over 100 images and it was so hard to pick to just a few to share with you, but the entire disc is one that I'll treasure forever. If you're tempted to break out the wedding dress (whether you last wore it a month ago or 10 years ago) and do this, I highly recommend it. You will not ruin it, you can always wash it. Unless you set yourself on fire. And then all bets are off.

Small Business Saturday: Not Just Another Catalog Business

Being an active-duty Army Wife means meeting a lot of other wives who own small businesses. From Silpada to Mary Kay to Pampered Chef to Fun Parties and everything in between, these women are taking advantage of catalog businesses to help bring in a little extra income without having to interview for another job every time the military says, "Pack your stuff. You're headed to...X." I buy from Avon occasionally because their clothes are cute and ridiculously inexpensive. And I've been known to purchase make-up from a Mary Kay rep. I even have a few Pampered Chef gadgets in my kitchen drawer (apparently, when they say "don't put the ice cream scooper in the dish washer," they really aren't kidding). But I don't buy Silpada or Lia Sophia or Stella & Dot because, honestly, I like what pours from my brain and through my hands better.


However, I love a monogrammed...anything. I believe it was Reese Witherspoon who said, "If it isn't moving, monogram it." I wholeheartedly agree. And so some of my most cherished pieces feature a swirly or blocked LAM. You know who does monogramming better than anyone? Thirty-one. As luck would have it, they also do colorful patterns, polka dots, and the color pink pretty darn well, too. But sometimes you just really don't know about the quality of the material until you order something (which is why I get all sketched out about ordering anything from a catalog.). A friend of mine from high school (and a Libra who is so close to being a fellow Virgo that she gets an honorary club card from me) is a rep and had been posting the company's specials for the month of March on Facebook. Spend X amount, get these precious cargo totes for just $5 each. Who could resist? As it turns out, my sister's birthday is in March and she definitely needed a colorful, multi-pocketed, monogrammed beach tote for their impromptu trips to the sand, sun, and surf (oh the glory of living so, so, so close to the coast). I placed my order and a week later, this arrived:

in all of its monogrammed glory

with plenty of pockets, both on the outside and inside

The material is a heavy-duty canvas with strong stitching all the way around. Grommets at the top allow her to clip her caribiner with keys and pool pass to the top. A zippered pouch is perfect for money and ....er...womanly things. And she can slide goggles, suntan lotion, and anything else her 2 young daughters may need for a day at the pool or beach so they aren't rooting around in Mommy's bag looking for it. Not pictured here is the matching keychain in the same burst of yellow fabric, as well as the 2 small totes I got for $5.00 each (which are monogrammed and will be revealed later), and the pink ruffle clutch that I was able to justify getting myself as a late Valentine's Day/early Military Spouse Appreciation Day gift. It's a polyester blend so I can fit my keys, phone, pool/gate pass, and my ID in it and if it gets wet at the pool, it repels the water and dries quickly.

All of this, with shipping, ran me a little over $100. Honestly, I think that's a bargain because the quality of the material and the embroidery is just that amazing. I have been giving our bank account a workout over the past few months, but as soon as it gets a little breathing room, I'll be back for more. A pink polka dotted and monogrammed cooler may be perfect for picnics in the park and the purses with interchangable outsides really appeals to my desire for customization. Thirty-one is one of the few companies I know who run deeply discounted specials almost every month. And when you buy from a Thirty-one representative, you are helping her support her own family. It may not be handmade, but it's certainly a small business and vital to keeping our money local. Should you need a rep, I just happen to have one, too. Look at that...me being all helpful. And if you find something you love today, June's special is a large utility tote for $10 (regular price $35) for every $35 you spend. Large utility totes are awesome. They will fit almost everything except a dead body.

The bottom line:

Represenative: Natalie Bruner

Website: http://www.mythirtyone.com/natbruner/

Cost: Depends on how fancy you go. Everything is reasonably priced. Monogramming is additional, but it's minimal. Don't forget to factor in shipping. The quality is comparable to Land's End (as in, buy it once and have it for the rest of your life. I'm still wearing a gray sweatshirt I got from there my junior year in high school).

Shipping: About a week.

Recommend?: Absolutely! Especially if you are a girly girl who loves to see her initials in thread! 





What Did I Miss?

OK, so yes...I fell off the face of the earth. No, I can't promise it won't happen again. There are a lot of changes going on around these parts. I finally launched the D&E blog, we got our move date for Ft. Lee (which is not until next year but I have to start stressing about it now because I must remain true to my nature), and I'm hosting a family-wide gathering in about 2 weeks. Also, I've been spending too much time on HGTV and Pinterest, which both remind me that all of these things need to be done with style, pizazz, and attention to detail. We also spent 2 nights in Atlanta last weekend and hit up the Carter Presidential Library (because a person can only visit the World of Coke and the Georgia Aquarium so many times in this life and because it's entirely too tropical to be outside at the zoo). But I'm back with some stuff to share (or cut and paste, as the case may be) from the May edition of House Beautiful. The 101 Designer Tips in May's issue made the entire year's subscription totally worth it and I'm going to share some of them with you, randomly, 10 at a time. If you've watched as much HGTV on hotel cable as I have in the past 4 days, you will absolutely appreciate this. Here we go...

1. Start your living room furniture plan with the best seat in the room and work from there.

2. To give rooms architectural detail when they don't have any, paint a 1 1/2" to 2" lining stripe around the ceiling and up the walls in the corners. It's a rich touch, a way to get a lot of look with just paint. (I wish there was a picture of this because I'm having a hard time envisioning it. Seems to me, you would just be outlining your box, which would further emphasize that you live in a box.)

3. Where to hang artwork? 63" on center above the floor is a perfect viewing height for most pieces.

4. When hanging a series of pictures together, keep the gap between them 2" to 2 1/2" to really utilize wall space and keep a minimum of 9" between art and tops of chairs and sofas. (Presumably so guests have some time to react should something fall off the wall.)

5. 3M Command Strips are fantastic to use when hanging art over mirrors, millwork panels, or vintage wallcovering. (This suggestion brought to you by 3M.)

6. When framing artwork that requires a mat, specify a mat with 8-ply thickness - the increased depth of the resulting bevel can make anything look important. (I should try this with my college diploma, which I am not at all using.)

7. Don't hang a mirror between windows. The spatial void it creates distracts from the view. And don't fall prey to using mirrors in every room or over every mantel. Mirrors are not art, and a room needs art. (Unless you are me and would look at yourself in a clock face if that's all that was available.)

8. The perfect amount of space between a mirror and the top of a mantel is 7". (Someone else has been reading House Beautiful as this quote is ALL OVER Pinterest right now.)

9. The ideal height to hang your flat-screen TV is at eye level when you're in viewing position. The ideal viewing distance is 1 1/2 times the size of your flat screen. (Unless you're at our house, where we've attempted to squeeze as much furniture as possible into 1500 sq feet and viewing the TV gives the exact same experience as being at the IMAX.)

10. Float something in the room - a sofa, a lounge chair - to avoid the dance hall look. Think of it as an opportunity to show off the back. Do something with the back. (Check Pinterest for ideas on DOING SOMETHING with the back.)

And now I'm going to attempt to write something for tomorrow. Because it seems I might have gotten my groove back...in that cut and paste sort of way.

I Was a Senior Hottie: Some Girls Have All the Hair

Liz, of a belle, a bean, and a chicago dog, runs a high school senior photo link-up each year. I admired from afar last year and was asked to create one of the prizes this year. Of course, it was my absolute honor to participate because a) I think Liz is the cat's meow and a bag of Hint of Lime Tostitos all rolled into one and b) what's more fun than creating things that sparkle? And so, the earring bases have arrived from Turkey and I'm just *patiently* awaiting the announcement of winners. In the meantime, I do have my very own #SeniorHottie pictures to share. This blast from the past is brought to you by AquaNet and the color red.

(I've chopped all non-essential personnel out of these photos to protect the identity of the innocent. Just because you were associated with me in high school, shouldn't mark you for all of eternity.) This was the French Honor Society senior banquet. Berets were optional.

Nothing spells special like a 20-lb Prom dress. Completely covered in sequins, front and back, with long sleeves and a hem that brushed the floor. Yes, I nearly melted that night. But not before I spilled an entire cup of Everclear down the front and broke the clasp at the top while doing the Watermelon Crawl.

The first few days after Graduation were filled with rolling in the bills I raked in from the family and chillin' at the boyfriend's house. This was taken in his bedroom as he was cleaning out his closet. Yes, those are mallard ducks in a border in his bedroom. No, we didn't last much longer after that. No, it didn't have anything to do with the ducks. He, tragically, got dumped for my first ex-fiance. But trust me, he got the better end of that deal....in the long run.

If these photos look all fancy to you, it's because I actually scrapbooked some of my senior year. I'm sure the future generations will be pleased.

The contest has closed, but you can still enjoy the many #SeniorHottie photos from bloggers who have linked up with Liz. Click on over and take a stroll down Memory Lane...preferably with a little Aerosmith or TLC cranked in the background.

Some things never change. Still rockin' the red.

My Thoughts on Bonding

...or more specifically, corporate retreats.

When Neal and I got married, he had already worked for the state of Kentucky for about 12 years. And once or twice every year, the state would pay for the entire technology department to spend a week at one of the state's parks on a retreat. There would be brainstorming and lots of drawing on the dry erase board, as well as some "team exercises" and dinners together.

I thought it was the most absurd thing I had ever heard.

When they returned, they weren't any more cohesive as a department and rarely did these week-long escapes to the woods result in any sort of tangible plan for the forseeable future. It was a week or two each year set aside for everyone to get a free pass to not do any real work and instead make a bunch of plans and then celebrate with beer and s'mores. And then, when the realization was made that the state was deeply in debt, all retreats came to a screeching halt. Coincidentally, one year later, Neal (after 15 years of dedicated and selfless service) was deemed no longer needed and escorted from the building with his copier paper box full of picture frames and whatever he had in the fridge. Was he let go because they didn't have a chance that year to hold hands around the campfire and give warm fuzzies to the person to their left? Or is it really that, at the end of the day, the workplace is all about money and it doesn't matter how many hours you've spent catching people in trust falls...when someone feels her job is being threatened, she will sing Kum Ba Yah while throwing your ass right under the bus?

Fifteen years of corporate retreats didn't result in anyone coming to Neal's aid. It was just a bunch of tax dollars spent in the name of team building and when Neal turned around for support during his darkest hour, his team was nowhere to be found. I would call that a profound waste of time and money. Kentuckians, you should be pissed.

Neal came home tonight and said that he has to attend a "bonding" trip to conclude a colonel's command this month. And my first reaction? Well, that's a total waste of time. You are going to go spend more time with people that you just spent a year in Iraq with? Was that 24-7 for 10 months not quite enough? But of course, the colonel wasn't in Iraq and he's the one who wants to go play in bouncy castles or go on a hayride or roast s'mores while singing the Army fight song ....or whatever the hell is on the agenda.

Y'know what builds a team's morale more than anything? Extra vacation days. Time spent with their families. Retreats WITH the families. Because by the time you become a working adult, you have created a family...whether with a spouse, a partner, or close friends. And that family will always outrank the job. Pulling time away from the family to spend more time at the job (and under the guise of "fun") not only annoys the employee, it pisses off the family. I can't think of a single work-related retreat that I've ever been on where, when it was all said and done, I said, "That was time well-spent! I really feel like I have connected with my co-workers on a whole new level and we will now exist peacefully and produce high-quality, squabble-free, final products." Not one. I went to Hurricane Katrina-devastated Mississippi once with staff from other YMCAs around the country and we worked like dogs all day and then bonded at night. But the bonding was incidental...not the main purpose. I did connect on a whole new level with those people, but then we were sleeping on the floor of the Y's karate room and walking past tent cities everyday.

I think retreats have their place. Youth retreats and camps are excellent because there are classes to attend and friendships to be made that have nothing to do with salaries or promotions or parking spaces (or retaining the right to be senior rater for an officer's evaluation). And family retreats are nearly necessary because we live such scattered and chaotic lives that we need something, after the work commitments and soccer seasons, to get us back on the same page. And if I'm going to invest time getting on the same page as anyone, it's going to be for my family.

My rant doesn't change the fact that this colonel is going to get his way and that Neal is going to pack his bags to fly to some yet-to-be-determined location to bond with other Soldiers who are either leaving the unit this month or within the next 6 months. And these plane tickets will be bought with money from an Army that is reducing its force and looking for ways to make severe budget cuts. It makes total sense, right? I hope they don't char their weenies.

What I'm Reading: In the Garden of Beasts

GoodReads

First of all, if you haven't read anything by Erik Larson up to this point, let me recommend The Devil in the White City as a starting point. I enjoyed In the Garden of Beasts, but it's not his best work. If you begin with this book, I fear you will never come back around to the excellent tale of the Chicago World's Fair (and co-occurring rampage of a sadistic murderer running amok during the chaos) in 1893. But Devil hooked me and so here we are.

This is the true account, based on journals, letters, and telegraphs kept and sent by Ambassador Dodd, of life in Germany during the rise of Hitler. I'm sure I'm not the only one of my generation who has ever said, "How in the HELL did they let this happen?" And by they, I mean our president, our secretary of state, our world as a whole. How did no one foresee the way this was all going to play out? But after reading In the Garden of Beasts, I get it.

Ambassador William E. Dodd was appointed by President Roosevelt to fill the position in Berlin in 1933. Dodd, who at the time, was serving as a college professor while he wrote his multi-volume historical account of the south in his free time, was looking for an ambassador role...preferably in Austria or...really, anywhere quiet that would allow him to focus the majority of his time on his writing. And Roosevelt had procrastinated filling the Berlin position after he had been turned down by everyone he asked. At last, someone at a dinner party mentioned Dodd and he, having no clue what awaited him just one year down the road, took it.

Dodd moved his family, including his wife, son, and party-girl daughter Martha, to Berlin soon after the appointment. Martha was separated from her husband at the time and saw the trip as one of infinite opportunities. Dodd and his wife saw it as a chance to impact world politics and impart on the German people what a level-headed bunch they were. They refused all standard ambassador treatment, including a luxurious house with countless staff and a fleet of cars at their disposal. They, instead, rented the upstairs portion of a house located just outside the gates of the Tiergarten (the park, loosely translated to "Garden of Beasts" from its days as a zoo, located in the middle of Berlin). During any other moment in time, any other regime, this modest living would have been respected and perhaps even admired, but Hitler's Germany equated power with wealth...or at least the appearance of wealth. Dodd refused to let his appointment (and the debt these appointments incurred on the American people) become a burden for an already taxed U.S. economy. He vowed to live within the salary he was given (and forgo the extravagant dinner parties that ambassadors were expected to host). The end result was Hitler's Germany dismissing him as a respectable authority representing the interests of the United States.

The entire Dodd family missed the importance of the rise of Hitler as it was happening. Ambassador Dodd saw Hitler as quiet and even cowardly and Martha saw only the exciting adventures that this new Germany offered. Even as Dodd began to catch glimpses of Hitler's true intentions and the power behind them (as Jews were forced out of jobs and housing and laws directly affecting Jews were being enacted everyday), Martha courted disaster as she carried on romantic affairs with the Gestapo leader, Rudolf Diels and the Soviet attache/secret NKVD agent, Boris Vinogradov. The men of the Third Reich were dashingly handsome and infectiously enthusiastic about The New Germany. Against her father's better judgment, she found herself singing right along with the Third Reich's anthem at a dinner party and even giving the Heil Hilter arm salute.

It was not until a road trip to a village outside of Berlin, where Martha and her traveling companions witnessed a Jewish woman and her Aryan lover being paraded through the streets after being severely beaten, that she began to question her unwavering support of the New Germany. Ambassador Dodd had long since been warning the State Department back in D.C., as well as President Roosevelt, of increasing unrest in Berlin. But it was all falling on deaf ears. And Dodd, never one to become too demanding or loud, pushed where he could and let the rest fall where it may.

The novel concludes with the day Hitler rose to ultimate power and all of the violence and death that accompanied that moment. The fear the Dodds felt is tangible in those pages and you get a real sense of how Berlin went from inhabitable to Hell overnight. Especially if you were Jewish. Or had sympathies towards the Jewish people.

The Dodds hurried home shortly thereafter and pretty much fell apart. Martha and her brother separated ways and Ambassador Dodd and his wife split their time between D.C. and a Virgina farm. And as we all know...then there was war.

While I was quick to mention that this is not Larson's most engaging novel, it certainly paints a vivid picture of Berlin in the months before Hitler's rise. The Gestapo and the police and the military...all fighting for power over the city's citizens...and Hitler calling the shots from his director's chair. He was not seen as fearsome or loathsome. At one point, one of Martha's close friends even sets her up on a date with Hitler, but neither seemed interested (although Hitler did admit to Diels later that he remembered meeting her). And that is how it happened. Under the cover of night, so slowly at first that anyone really noticed, and with the help of devoted followers who believed in their cause and in their leader.

I would recommend this book for anyone who enjoys a historical account of Germany. It gets thick with names and associations at times and I think some of it interferes with the underlying story. While it is, for the most part, an engrossing story, there are small bits of boring sections that I skipped. Ambassador Dodd's wife and son are mentioned, but the spotlight remains on the ambassador and Martha through most of the book. Martha's exploits with the men of the Third Reich makes for juicy reading and Ambassador Dodd's view of the New Germany makes you sympathize while also shaking your fists. There's a little bit of a love story, as Martha truly felt herself in love with Soviet agent Vinogradov and there is tons of violence towards the end, if that's your thing. But mostly, it's a well-researched and easily understood account of the months leading up to a time of impenetrable darkness.