Metamorphosis

For the past 3 years Blue has received a "Cup O' Caterpillars Grow Your Own Butterfly Kit" for his birthday, which is in August. This has always been an amazing, thoughtful gift that took into consideration Blue's equal parts passion for science and animals. But we could never get started right away because I felt it was too hot for the butterflies. Then, once fall finally arrived, I feared it would get too cold for them at night. By the time I remembered to do it the following spring, day time temperatures were already soaring into the 90's. I don't really know what optimum butterfly temps are, but I feel like I may have been a butterfly in a former life and I prefer something in the mid-70's. Too cold in April, too hot in May. Too hot in August, too cold in September. It just never seemed like the right time.

And that, in a nutshell, has been the story of my life.

Not that the "wrong time" has prevented me just plowing through, especially as an Army wife and a mom. If I've learned anything since starting this blog 9 years ago, it's that sometimes you just gotta tuck and roll. And we've almost always managed to land on something soft.

It helps to have a steadfast, laid-back partner in crime; one who will support you unconditionally, as long as you are happy. I've asked a lot of Neal in the past 13 years and he has never failed to deliver...even on Blue's first day of first grade (when I incorrectly accused him of forgetting to take pictures while I was volunteering on base). He comes through every time and usually exceeds every expectation I may have had. So, our timing has never been perfect, but that hasn't kept us from growing, learning and evolving.

I will turn 40 in a couple of weeks and that has given me cause to re-evaluate some things. Like how much I obsess over some mysterious new spot on my body and how much time I spend around negative people and what I want from this blog. My first post was published right after Neal returned from his second deployment and I was looking for some way to establish my presence in this world. Then we lost a child, Neal lost his job, he was given the chance to go Active Duty, he deployed again, we had another child and then we started moving. A lot. Six times in 8 years. On my very first day of blogging I had to choose a name for my little space on the Internet. I looked out the window at our front yard, at the magnolia tree that hugged the corner of the house. I swirled my glass, my Sunday morning breakfast drink. Magnolias & Mimosas. It was a succinct description of my life in that moment...and how I thought my life would remain. I couldn't foresee anything past the relief of a recent homecoming and falling back into the routine of being married without kids.

That feels like a lifetime ago.

I was 31 and naive about so much. I had traveled but only to destinations detailed by Frommer's and Rick Steves.  I believed what people told me, trusted what I saw with my own eyes and judged everyone by what they said and did.

I changed the name of my blog. I started a new blog when Neal deployed a 3rd time. I changed the name of the first blog again and then again. I spent most of my 30's trying to find where I fit in, what I believed, who I was. We had 2 sons and I learned about grief, joy, patience, malleability, unconditional love and forgiveness.  I am not the same person as I was 9 years ago.

I am better.

I have never understood why people lament birthdays. Why they hide from them, downplay or even ignore them. They have always been a cause for celebration for me because, as the cliche goes, what's the alternative? As I look at where I've been, how far I've come in almost every way, I think it's time to start fresh. A new blog with a new purpose. I don't plan to dismantle this one. It's a recorded history of the miles I've traveled, the people I've met, the incredible adventures we've had along the way. But I'm ready to emerge from my chrysalis, stretch my wings, take to the sky and, if you're game, take you with me.

I've started a new blog titled, The NeighborGood, inspired by a street market of the same name in South Africa. It was featured on an episode during the first season of Anthony Bourdain's Parts Unknown. I see a lot of myself in Mr. Bourdain, minus the hopeless despair that washed over him. I see a man who didn't just stumble upon, but actively sought out, the good in this world. He traveled to Mississippi and Los Angeles, but also to Bhutan and Myanmar. He found the good food, the good people with the good stories. And then he shared it with us.

Many of my friends have commented on how well I can blend in with my surroundings, whether we are milking cows on a dairy farm in Paradise, Pennsylvania or shopping the Goodwill on Cary Street in Richmond, Virginia or marketing our church's Christkindlmarkt in the Country Club area of Kansas City. One of my closest friends compared me to a chameleon. I'm not sure I'll ever lose my Kentucky twang, but I do take a certain amount of pride in the fact that we can find a home wherever the Army sends us. It may take 3 months and a fair amount of grumbling, but we do eventually settle in. And then we get to enjoy seeing America as few others do, from the inside, out. There is good in Lititz, Pennsylvania and Petersburg, Virginia and Winterset, Iowa and Perry, Georgia and yes...in Los Angeles County, California. There is good in every holler, corner store, suburb, public park and food truck in between...from sea to shining sea. We have always sought out these places and the people who make them good and I've always shared our experiences with you. Now that will be my focus as I ride this train to 40, blowing the whistle all the way. It's not the end of the line, just a different track.

You can find me here. And if you give me a day or 2, that silly default journey (that word should be taken out to a field and used for target practice) post will be replaced by what we found at The Grove last weekend.