Champagne Friday with a Helping of Come-Apart

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Happy Champagne Friday, y'all!

Judging by the status updates on Facebook, we have all been working for Champagne Friday...some since Sunday night...before the work week even started. We won't actually get to drink champagne tonight since we are driving back to Bluegrass Country as soon as Neal gets off work this afternoon. But that's not to say we can't pop a cork tomorrow night! And while we were perusing our local Publix on Tuesday night, we stumbled across these:

Someone...(Jessalyn maybe??) was telling me about these 4-packs of champagne, but I had never actually seen one until this week. So, if you are the only champagne drinker in your house and the idea of downing a whole bottle of champagne in one evening doesn't appeal to you (which, I hear, happens after the age of 35), here's your Choice B. Of course, if Jessalyn would just bless us all with those champagne stoppers she was giving away, we wouldn't have that problem, now would we?

So, I know I usually do a top 5, but I can't find our new tags for the Pathfinder and if I don't find them before 30 May, we can't drive the car off base because they won't let us back on. So, just one quick story for today.

Oh, and this is about bugs...specifically palmetto bugs. If you are eating breakfast/lunch/brunch/dinner/4th meal, you may want to come back later. Heaven knows I couldn't nosh on a hamburger and even tell this story, much less read it.

So, in my Georgian fantasy, there were palm trees, balmy January days, and day trips to the beach (notice the Air Force fantasy can actually stand alone, completely unlinked to the Georgian fantasy...meaning I do not have to be in Georgia to have the Air Force fantasy. I'm a planner like that.) Anyhawt, there were not big, nasty, flying cockroaches in my Georgian fantasy. Actually, they would probably fall under "4th dimension of Hell" for me. But dead, non-flying, 8-legs up and antennas splayed cockroaches are less craptastic...even though I still refuse to remove them from the house. That is listed in Neal's job description under "Duties of Tenant with a Penis." (Well, until he deploys and then I'll have to start wearing baggier jeans. Army wives have to grow some sort of attachment to house all of the courage we need for the next 13 months).

We went out with one of Neal's co-workers and his wife last night to celebrate her birthday. Beer flowed, stories were told, jokes were made. We rolled into the Brady Bungalow all jovial and relaxed (read: guard down). The cats spotted a millipede (or something long, skinny, and with about 4830285 legs). I beckoned for Neal. He came, he saw, and then he said, "well, what you should really be concerned about is that" and then he pointed to a living, breathing, crawling palmetto bug. Not sure what that looks like? Let me help you out.

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And this one has covertly tucked his wings in beside him...giving no indication that he can just take flight and hurl his body toward your face at any time (which is exactly what happened to me last night as I stood on the couch and watched him inch across the ceiling). I think someone probably warned me that they can fly, but having never seen one do that, I just assumed they were talking about a different species. Nope. Same one. Wings and all.

Neal was retrieving the millipede when the giant, flying cockroach decided to dive-bomb me, so neither one of us saw where he ended up (because all I saw was the back bedroom, where I was running to...the furthest point away from the living room). This means that there is a palmetto bug roaming our house. Somewhere. We have looked under every piece of furniture (which, at this stage of the game, is not that difficult considering we have none), around doors, windows, and in bathtubs. No luck. Just the thought that I'm going to pull a chair out to sit and have lunch some day, only to find him laying there, waiting to be found, makes me want to puke. I spent about an hour researching exterminating solutions, even though the rental agency sprays every quarter. So far, I've found that bowls of beer, placed around doors and windows will attract and then drown them. And the maintenance guy just told me that he uses cedar bark around his house. I would prefer not to douse my house in Raid, as the girls are sensitive to chemicals (read: Poppy doesn't have a lick of common sense and will lick just about anything...including Lulu's Exit Only spot). So, I'm looking for alternative methods. I would also not wish to give birth to a 3-legged baby someday just because I had created a Chernobyl situation around the exterior of our home. But I also did not sign up to live in the same house as roaches. Just sayin'.

If any of you southern state-dwellers have suggestions, I am all ears. I will try pretty much anything and everything, short of fumigating every 5 days.

Sorry if I grossed anyone out to the point that they will not enjoy any food for the next 7-10 days. Welcome to my hell, though.

Cheers and Happy Weekend!