Christmas is the New Thanksgiving

Like so many others in blogger-land, I am sort of confused by all of the light-stringing, radio-caroling, bell-ringing that is going on right now. Our local "soft rock" radio station (yes the one with John Tesh and Delilah - who is a white woman...who knew??) is playing all Christmas, all the time...or Mixmas as they have dubbed it. Clever, yes...appropriate timing, no. I am almost certain that not more than 3 weeks ago I was donning angel wings and a halo while Neal was strutting his stuff in a devil suit. And yet, here I am...under the influence of my surroundings and itching to find my tree stand. But oddly, I have not consumed the requisite 4500 calories to get from Halloween to Christmas. Something....is missing...Oh WAIT...we as a nation have completely bypassed Thanksgiving...y'know, that pesky holiday in late November when we have to spend time with our families but don't actually get any gifts to make it worth our while? It is usually the time of year when a news story pops up about a family in Hazard who tried to deep-fry their turkey in the basement so they wouldn't miss the game....thus causing them to miss the game...as well as their eyebrows and occasionally a couple of limbs. Although last year, while we were celebrating at my aunt's in Evansville, there was a family who accidentally hit a deer on the road...which was then donated to the soup kitchen for dinner. Turkey...deer...cat...whatever. Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra...oops, there I go again...skipping straight over turkey day.

I am looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. It will be at our house (and by "our house" I mean mine and my husband's...I feel so grown up) and I have much to be thankful for (a husband not living in a tent in the desert, for starters). I don't actually like turkey so I'm looking forward to the ribs that will be simmering in some good ole' Kentucky BBQ sauce all day, as well as the Derby pie that I picked up at Sam's Club this afternoon. Derby pie: pecan pie with chocolate chips...AKA a slice of chocolatey, nutty, gooey goodness. (And God bless Kentucky - you can buy Derby pie all year round...at Sam's, at Kroger, at Liquor Barn. It's so much better than me trying to bake). And going against every fake-fir-tree-instinct I have right now, I'm going to maintain my autumn/fall/sort-of-still Halloween decor for the big day. What I want to do is pull the tree down from the top shelf in the garage and with it every box that contains anything red or green and bathe my house in Christmas cheer. But I'm going to resist in an effort to celebrate every holiday in its own right. There will be plenty of time for Bing Crosby and Soldier Santa standing guard on the mantle. The cats will still get a full 4 (and probably closer to 6) weeks to bat incredibly fragile Christmas ornaments around the house until they wedge under the fridge or shatter into a million unrecognizable pieces. (I will also get 4-6 weeks of cleaning up fake-fir-tree-kitty-vomit. No reason to start that any earlier than it has to be).

So, buy a box of wine, fire up the turkey fryer, and eat whipped topping straight out of the can...it's time for Thanksgiving. There is plenty of time for Christmas when you're standing in line in front of Target at 3:30 AM Friday morning, freezing cold and wishing Starbucks would open. For now we should be focusing on cranberries shaped like a Del Monte can and the love of our family, straight up...sans ribbons and bows.