What I'm Reading: Alice I Have Been

via Melanie Benjamin's website

I don't think I've ever given much thought to the origins of Alice in Wonderland. Of course, I was read the story as a child and I've seen the Johnny Depp version in 3D, but I suppose I always assumed that it was the seed of a story in an author's imagination, that grew into a children's classic. And considering all of the odd characters introduced throughout (as well as the instructions to "eat me" and "drink me"), I also assumed that Lewis Carroll was in some kind of drug-altered state when he wrote it.

Alice I Have Been is author Melanie Benjamin's account, based on months of research, of how the story came to be. Let's begin with Lewis Carroll, which is actually a pseudonym for Charles Dodgson, who was an Oxford mathematician and professor. He was also neighbors with Alice Liddell (the original Alice in Wonderland) and her family of 2 older sisters, 1 older brother, mother, father (the Dean of the college), and governess Miss Prickett (and later a 3rd sister). Dodgson dabbled in the new art of photography, which required the subject to hold the pose for 45 seconds while the image was taken. Dodgson found endless delight in capturing the girls' images and their mother, intrigued by the new art, was happy to let him do it. In the world we know today, I don't know any mother who would let her 3 young daughters (and later, Alice alone) spend countless hours with a 30-year old man, photographing, boating, exploring, and picnicking around the Oxford countryside. Sometimes the governess was with them (as she had a bit of a crush on the ole Dodgson), but sometimes not. It was, occasionally, just the 4 of them.

Eventually, tired of grim-faced portraits, Dodgson took this picture of Alice alone. He arranged for her to meet him in a tucked-away garden and brought these garments for her to wear. It is the inspiration behind Alice in Wonderland and would, much later, incite rumors about the relationship between Alice and Dodgson.

via Washington Post Book Review 

It seems fairly provocative to us now, especially considering that he brought these clothes for her to wear and then watched as she changed into them. But in Benjamin's post-scripts, she writes about how difficult it is for us to read a book about an earlier era without reading it through the lens of our modern times. She also admits that when she first discovered the photography of Dodgson at the Art Institute, and saw this one among the others, she was, at the very least, disturbed. But then she reminds us of the novelty of photography during the Victorian ages, especially of people, since most of it was landscape photography at that time. Dodgson was especially gifted at telling stories, drawing pictures, and then rushing to expose the plate...keeping his young subjects enthralled (and above all, still) for the entire 45 seconds. It helps to remember that the Victorians also embraced a sort of "cult of the child," which Benjamins explains is the "idea that children's unformed bodies reflected the purest, most idealistic representation of humanity. It was entirely possible for a Victorian to look at a child scantily clad and see an angel, not a sexualized creature..."

However, be that as it may, there was a rumored relationship between Alice and Dodgson when she was about 11 and he in his 30's. There is no proof to back this up, as all correspondance between the two, as well as Dodgson's diaries were burned by the families, supposedly to conceal any embarrassing details. Benjamin does her best to describe the relationship and leaving it to us to assume (as we are all so good at doing), just as the rest of the world assumes even to this day...or, at least, wonders. But there is documentation that sometime in Alice's pre-teen years, contact with Dodgon was completely severed and Alice went on to fall in love with Queen Victoria's hemophiliac son, Prince Leopold (and he with her), but marry someone who was more in line with her social status.

The facts we have, and which Benjamin solidly bases her novel on, are:

Dodgson told the Liddell sisters many stories over the years of their intense friendship, but the one he told of Alice in Wonderland during a day of boating was the only one that Alice begged him to write down. Alice was 10 at the time.

Dodgson first came to know the Liddell Family when Mr. Liddell was appointed dean of Christ Church, Oxford and the family moved into the Deanery. Dodgson, who lived immediately across the garden from the Deanery, first photographed the garden and came to know the oldest son, Henry, but soon developed a friendship with the daughters and spent the majority of his time with them.

At the age of 11, all ties were severed with Mr. Dodgson, although the "why" is a matter of complete speculation. One rumor is that Mr. Dodgson asked Mr. Liddell for Alice's hand in marriage. Yet another theory is that Dodgson had professed his love to either Alice's mother, her older sister Ina, or their governess. Dodgson's descendents dispute all claims, but we'll never know as Alice's mother burned all correspondance between Alice and Dodgson after the break.

Dodgson went on to become the infamous Lewis Carroll, first publishing Alice in Wonderland and later Through the Looking Glass. He and Alice continued to have little to no contact, although he always sent her an edition of his newest book. Alice spent most of her life trying desperately to conceal her identity as the true Alice in Wonderland, but it was her most appealing trait. Prince Leopold fell in love with that Alice, although he went on to marry someone else. And Alice eventually settled down to a life of solitude with Reginald Hargreaves and they had 3 sons.

The book is mostly narrated by an 80-year old Alice, as she is crossing the ocean from England to New York so that she may appear at a function as the original Alice in Wonderland. Towards the end of her life, she finally accepted (and even embraced) her legacy and was able to capitalize on it financially after her husband died, leaving her virtually penniless. But she never spoke of her break with Mr. Dodgson or revealed any enlightening circumstances that surrounded that event.

I truly loved this book for its mystery, its conflict, its history, and the way it made me feel. Although Melanie Benjamin has been accused in some of the critics' reviews for "dumbing down" Alice's 7-year old speech, I found it to be accurate in how most 7-year olds express themselves. And her bitter disappointment at the way her life turned out was compelling and sad. I could sit here and judge Mr. Dodgson for the relationship that he supposedly allowed with Alice, but when I was about 15 or 16, I carried on with a much older man briefly and I can certainly see the appeal. What young girl doesn't want to be idolized by someone so much older and wiser? And just like the Liddells, my family stepped in and put an abrupt end to it.

It's hard not to feel sympathy or sadness for Alice as she recounts the overstuffed atmosphere of the Liddell household and her sisters' shifting demands for attention from Dodgson. And it's nearly impossible to feel anything but hatred at her mother for severing the relationship and sentencing Alice to a life of loneliness. But we have to remember that she did the best she could with the notariety that was thrown upon her. Not everyone is so lucky. The inspiration behind A.A. Milne's Christopher Robin went on to commit suicide as he caved under the pressure of being Pooh's best friend. Alice made a life for herself that eventually included her role as Alice in Wonderland.





What I'm Reading: No Higher Honor

Correction: What I tried reading: No Higher Honor.

I have a friend who is a voracious reader. She updates her GoodReads list the same way most of us update our Facebook profiles. A few months ago, I got an email from GoodReads letting me know that she had just posted this to her "read" folder. And I thought, "Yeah! I should read that! I have always liked good ole Condi, especially after she was on Meet the Press last winter with the author of The Blind Side." And so I borrowed it from the library for a week.

That was my first mistake.

This is a 750 page book, y'all. Neal is listening to it on Audible.com and he commuted 30 minutes each way for an entire week, then to Ft. Knox, KY and back and is still listening to it. When I complained that the book was better at putting me to sleep than most of my college physics textbooks, he mentioned that listening to it (in her voice) is much easier than actually reading it. And reading it in a week? No way.

I will just have to trust him on that because me and Condi? We're done.

Here was are my take-aways from the first 250 pages:

1. The W. Bush administration was one foreign affairs calamity after another.

2. If Rice could have run over and then backed over Rumsfeld about 9 times without getting any jail time, she would have.

3. She probably would have done the same to Cheney.

4. She willingly admits the really obvious mistakes of the administration.

5. The only reason I made it as far as I did is because Neal told me to stop fixating on the details of each encounter and look for the gist of the story. Although the gist was normally just as boring as the details.

6. NO ONE in the administration predicted the shit storm that would follow the "axis of evil" speech.

7. Israel and Palastine are just never going to get along. Period.

8. Apparently, we were supposed to go to war with Afghanistan (which is where Al-Qaida was hanging out after 9/11) but somehow ended up in Iraq instead.

9. North Korea is creepy.

10. W. did a lot of business from his Texas ranch.

If you are either a) a foreign affairs nerd or b) in love with Condoleeza Rice or c) retired, this may be the book for you. She recounts each detail of her time with the Bush administration in painstaking clarity, perhaps to "clear the record" or perhaps to document for history. Either way, I need more anecdotes if I'm going to make it through 750 pages. I barely survived Gone with the Wind and that involved a war, men in uniform, and lots of beautiful dresses. Condi doesn't have any of that. Well, she's got the war part, but men in robes is just not the same. 

Random Musings Friday: Hot-lanta

So the record heat last weekend is not breaking news. It's hot. It's hot in Chicago and New York and DC and, of course, Atlanta. Shana has had her plane ticket south for weeks so changing it due to unbearable heat was really not an option. Originally, we were going to head off to the beach for a few days...maybe Tybee or Hilton Head. But when we saw the 10-day forecast, we decided that neither one of us was all that eager beaver to deal with sweat AND sand. So, we booked a few nights at the Dobbins AFB lodging in Marietta (just north of Atlanta) and awaited our adventure.

As we hopped from air conditioned building to air conditioned building for 4 days, we realized it was the best decision we could have made. And when the AC in my hotel room started to go out 20 minutes before check-out, I knew that lounging in the sun for hours on end was never really going to happen anyway. The only ones lounging in 108 degree heat are the lizards.

So, here's a Random Musings Friday of what we learned/did/ate/saw in Hot-lanta this week. Warning: it involves poop and strippers.

1. The Cinebistro movie theater in Atlanta is exactly like the Movie Tavern in Lexington, except glamorous. We dined on white bean/smoky eggplant hummus, oven baked goat cheese with dried black figs, rock shrimp risotto, a shortrib/brisket burger with sweet potato fries, chocolate cake and peanut butter pie. Bonus: no one under 21 is allowed for movies starting after 6 PM. And we saw more movies in 3 days than I have in the past 3 years. Both Moonrise Kingdom (Wes Anderson's new one...minus Gwyneth Paltrow, plus Bruce Willis...an excellent trade in my opinion) and The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (I want Judi Dench and Dame Maggie Smith to by my honorary grandmothers. I think we would get along famously.) were playing at the Cinebistro. And I'm eager to take Mama Virgo back next weekend when she comes down for a short visit.

Also? They have the coolest sinks in the women's bathroom. Even Neal agrees that they are on the high side of awesome.

2. If you have a military ID, it is insane to pay triple the price to stay at a chain hotel. Dobbins AFB offers very nice and clean lodging that looks exactly like a Hampton or a Red Roof. The beds are comfy, the comforters are down, they sell alcohol at the front desk, and you have to pass armed airmen to get in. It's located in Marietta, which is approximately 10 miles north of downtown Atlanta. 5 minutes on I-75 and we were anywhere we wanted to be. And it's quiet. $117 for 3 nights and we even got a dorm fridge with freezer, a microwave, and this handy 1-cup coffee maker, which was just perfect for my morning routine. You will need to bring your own hair dryer, though, because the one they provide is roughly the same as using your own breath to dry your coif.

3. Breakfast on Monday morning was at The Flying Biscuit Cafe in Candler Park. After a weekend of cupcakes, pie, and dairy, I was experiencing a bit of gastrointestinal distress, so I stuck to the carbs on the menu. But Shana branched out to the "Egg-stravaganza"...complete with eggs, chicken sausage, turkey bacon, dreamy grits (which I also got...turns out, the secret is low-fat cream and cheddar cheese), and whole wheat french toast, topped with raspberry sauce and honey creme anglaise. (related: why don't they have accent marks on keyboards? Where's an accent mark when you really need one??) And this trip also ruined me for really fluffy scrambled eggs. Now, mine just taste like rabbit pellets. I would say that the service was pretty lackluster, but whatever...the food was amazing and sometimes, that's all that matters.

4. While perusing the rack of tourist brochures in the Dobbins lodging lobby, we ran across one that made us both go "hmmm...."

Yes, we paid money to attend an exhibit on excrement. As they exclaim, "It's the #1 exhibit about #2." And we even learned a few things along the way, like:

When your superstition involves driving over camel dung for good luck, you may actually deserve to get blown up...

and...

Thank goodness that even when our species gives birth to multiples, we do not have to poop circles around them to know which ones are ours...

and...

How very fortunate we are to NOT have to nuzzle our babies' rectums in order to stimulate them to poop. Clearly, I would prefer not to come back as a white-tailed deer.

5. There is no better way to follow an exhibit about poo/dung/excrement/crap, than to watch a 45-minute IMAX film about the disappearing ice caps, narrated by Meryl Streep. Bottom line: watching a polar bear fall into the water when the piece of ice they stepped on has melted beyond their weight limit is heartbreaking. And I want to deliver copies of the DVD to the 4 new families on our street because, apparently, driving their cardboard moving boxes to the recycle, 2 miles away, is just too much. I hope your homes melt.

6. After some R&R back at the hotel (and a little House Hunters, followed up by Say Yes to the Dress), we headed over to Seasons 52 for dinner. We had made reservations for an earlier supper so that we could arrive in plenty of time for our all-male revue showing of Magic Mike. Again, seasonal dining at its finest. Artichoke and goat cheese flat bread, roasted artichoke-stuffed shrimp, and cedar plank salmon were followed by "mini-indulgences" of german chocolate cake and pecan pie. I will warn you, though, that they serve their water STRAIGHT from the tap and the tap water in Dunwoody tastes a lot like our public pool. Also, if you go (and you can go...it's a chain), drive your nice car. When we left, the valet drivers were parking Bentleys, Jags, and Beamers next to my pretty little Prius with the bird droppings and tree sap running down the rear window.

7. Magic Mike is...magical. And had just enough plot to keep me interested. But if plot is not your thing, they also offer penis pumps, Matthew McC in boy shorts, and a scene in which they wear nothing but camo pants, Army boots, and dog tags. It's a shame it will never make it to the IMAX.

8. Breakfast on Tuesday morning was courtesy of Highland Bakery...which was loud...and crammed full of tables. I understand making the most money possible in a recession but if they took out just 3 tables, we would have all been more comfortable. But who can complain when there are fluffy scrambled eggs and sweet potato pancakes with brown sugar syrup involved? And...they bring your check out with this:

I do find that a compliment under my bill contributes to a higher tip. And just starts the day off on the right foot, in general.

9. You can buy Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On right now on iTunes for 69 cents. It really sets the mood for a day at the Titanic Exhibit in Atlantic Station. It's the 100th anniversary of the sinking and they've dredged up as much as possible from the wreckage and put it on display for those of us who missed it. Get the audio tour. It cuts down on the reading. And don't forget to touch the ice. It's the only thing in the entire exhibit that you can touch.

10. In an effort to spend as little time as possible in the actual out of doors, we left the Titanic (and its gift shop, which offers a variety of Rose-inspired jewelry and entire sets of china available for purchase) and headed over to the Virginia-Highland neighborhood. Virginia-Highland is known for its quirky, independent shops and locally-owned restaurants...most of which are closed until dinner or on Tuesdays or when it's high tide or mercury is in retrograde or any time 2 out-of-towners just want to get a bite to eat before they start gnawing on their own arms. Fortunately, we found a noodle house just in time.

And, as it turned out, the beef and portabello bowl with crispy spinach over fried rice was an ideal late lunch. I had no idea you could make spinach crisp up and I don't want to know how much butter is involved in making that happen, but it was delicious.

11. The shops in the Virginia-Highland area are very boutique-y and thus a little on the pricey side...especially if you are one to peruse the $5 DVD bin at, say, Walmart. But we found them to be quaint with very friendly salespeople. These girls were hanging out in a window outside of Dakota J's:

While the blue feather boas look just like a refreshing dip in the pool, the shocking site of Barbie in a sea of fuschia sort of looks like she is drowning in a puddle of her own blood. Maybe stabbed by a stiletto? Either way, these girls are nekkid and, probably, up to no good.

But there's also this:

although the first time I saw it on Trip Advisor, I read it as Dr. Bombay's Underwear Tea Party, which is not exactly the same as being underwater. Either way, we had to take a pass on having "high tea" underwater or in our underwear. After all, when one has had high tea at The Plaza, everything else is just an affair with monkeys.

12. After an early showing of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (again, excellent film although slow as molasses in the dead of January until about an hour in), we hit Noche, a tapas restaurant in the same shopping center. We managed to score a table 10 minutes before the kitchen closed and we counted ourselves among the lucky as we polished off 3 varieties of tacos (including lobster) and apple-smoked bacon-wrapped dates. The interior is brick and concrete so bring your outside voice and your guide to reading lips. Or brave the outdoor tables. It was raining sideways so we just screamed at each other.

13. Wednesday, as we all know, was the 4th of July.

(note to self: dirty hippies who sell local artists' goods also have the best temporary tattoos)

and, apparently, is something akin to Christmas Day. After hitting 3 restaurants near Oakland Cemetery and finding them all closed, we finally ended up at Six Feet Under. And since we had been on the hunt so long, it was actually lunch time. One shrimp po boy and 3 crab cake sliders later, we were ready for an adventure. And a pedicure. Both could only be had at the Lenox Mall since everything else was closed. Literally. I take that back...I'm sure Walmart and Lowe's were doing a booming business, but every locally owned anything was closed for the 4th. We ended up paying $25 for the Asian women in the mall to do our toes (which, admittedly, was something of a disappointment for Shana, who is used to a full calf-wrap with pumice stone scrub, but fine for me as I usually just cut all of my callouses off with a pair of toenail clippers) and meandering around the mall for 5 hours.

There is an Anthropology in Lenox for anyone who has drool they need to express and a Pottery Barn for decorating inspiration (which you can then take to IKEA for 1/32 the price). And plenty of divine people-watching. But that's about it. Fortunately for me, Shana is incredibly flexible and forgiving.

What else did we learn?

• Exit 261 comes up on you really fast. Be prepared to cross 6 lanes of traffic with .5 miles worth of notice.
• Lots of lanes shift. You should really have a co-pilot to warn you of lanes that are ending when you're trying to figure out where in the hell you're going. Expect honking and middle fingers if you are trying to turn into a Publix from a lane that used to be a turning lane for you but is now a driving lane for oncoming traffic.
• Sea salted caramel gelato is divine. When it is served as a milkshake, it's orgasmic. 
• Atlanta is closed for the 4th of July. Wait...did I say that already? 
• There is a song on the Magic Mike soundtrack that makes it absolutely worth it to purchase the entire CD from iTunes.
• I feel really fancy when I go to a Target that is underground. 
• A golf umbrella is of no use against sideways rain. 
• Always bring extra underwear. 
• There is a store in Atlanta that sells bondage attire, corsets, baby clothes, bobble head Jesus, marijuana accessories, and has kittens for adoption in the back. 
• After you've had maid service, always make sure you still have a remote. 
• It's OK to leave cupcakes in lieu of a tip for housekeeping. 
• Don't let the dirty hippies gift wrap your purchases. Just....don't. 

I think that's about it. It has been next to impossible to get back to my routine after 3 days of family and 4 days of vacation and a holiday thrown into the middle of all of that. I think I'll just open this bag of chips and watch a movie and start over on Monday.

Happy Friday and Cheers to you! We had our fair share of mimosas last weekend so I expect y'all to catch up! 

What I'm Reading: Lake of Dreams

via Overflowing Heart Reviews

Full disclosure: I read both of Kim Edwards books, The Memory Keeper's Daughter and The Lake of Dreams because she was an English professor at the University of Kentucky. Although by the time I arrived at UK, I had already changed my major from English to Telecommunications and therefore never attended her lectures, I bleed blue (as we all know) and fully support a Wildcat when he/she makes it big.

I loved The Memory Keeper's Daughter, but I'm not sure if it was because of the writing or because much of it was set in Lexington and I could identify with the landmarks. It's been many years since I read it so I don't recall much, but I remember liking it and recommending it to others (although it's emotionally difficult to read in certain sections). I wish I could say the same for The Lake of Dreams.

In general, if a book's jacket says anything along the lines of "Susie Jones had it all...the dreamy, doctor boyfriend, a beautiful house on the cape, and a 6-figure income. But then a car bomb brings her world crashing down and all she has left of her dashing beau is a box of mysterious papers. This story of survival, independence and renewal will leave you wanting more long after the last page is turned"...I will immediately start looking for a new book. Unless you're reading about Excel spreadsheet development, every book is about survival and renewal on some level. If there wasn't conflict, there wouldn't be a plot and if there's no growth from that conflict, there wouldn't be a conclusion. But having the perfect life and then having to adjust expectations when everything suddenly disappears is excessively tired in today's literature (and I'm looking at you, chick lit). The only time I will concede to it is when it's side-splitting hysterical, like Jen Lancaster's Bitter is the New Black. Yes, she had everything and yes, she lost everything, but it's how she wrote about the process that made it enjoyable. It's the first time I ever remember laughing aloud (not lol'ing) while reading.

The Lake of Dreams begins with the introduction of Lucy Jarrett, a late 20's hydrologist who lives in Japan with her boyfriend, who she would very much like to make her husband. When her mother takes a fall in her hometown of Lake of Dreams, she fears it could be "the end" and decides to rush home to care for her. It's agreed that Lucy's boyfriend, Yoshi, will follow shortly after a business trip. When Lucy arrives, there is a lot of "everything had changed" and "Wow, you must be so important, you live in Japan," as proclaimed by childhood friends who still lived there...the typical small town response to anyone who travels further than the state line. As Lucy begins to settle into her mom's house, she finds a window seat filled with old family documents and pictures. She immediately begins to unravel the mystery of the papers...the who, when, where, why...and in the process uncovers a secretive past involving her father (who is deceased) and his father.

There is an excellent book review of The Lake of Dreams written here and it's nearly impossible for me to expand or improve upon it. But in a nutshell, there were (for me) only 2 likeable characters in the entire novel: her dead father and her ex-boyfriend who predictably pops up from her past, more successful and handsome than she ever remembers. Edwards builds Lucy's character in about 2 chapters and the entire experience feels rushed. Lucy comes across as needy and obsessively driven to solve the puzzle of her family's past. Combine that with her sudden (and obnoxiously predictable) realizations that serve to move the story forward, and you have a main character who is tolerable at best.

The supporting characters are under-developed, so they were less annoying. It's hard to be bothered by what is unwritten. Lucy's mom, who is chastised by Lucy for moving forward after her husband's death, is actually relatable to the rest of us. She has a boyfriend and enjoys summer evenings with him and a bottle of wine on the front porch. I can actually see myself hanging out with her mom. Lucy's boyfriend, Yoshi, is simply in the story so that she can relay truths she has uncovered and the way she has pieced it all together. He physically arrives on the scene late in the novel and is finally partially developed in the last few chapters. I would have enjoying knowing Yoshi a little bit better. And Lucy's uncle (her father's brother) and cousin are described in a way (and behave in a way) that would be unsavory to anyone. They have no redeeming characteristics. For me, that's just not realistic. Everyone has something that makes them likeable. Even if it's fleeting.

As for the writing, she sometimes fulfilled my desire for expressive, descriptive language. I hated the Twilight books because there was no description of the scent of blood or the sound of a howl. It was simply, "she smelled delicious"...well, so does an apple pie. Did Bella smell like an apple pie? I want a writer to take me there, even if I'm stuck in the dentist lobby with phones ringing and the high-pitch of a drill echoing in the hallway. Sometimes I was there with her, running my hand over brilliant piece of stained glass...and sometimes I was sitting in the dentist lobby, reading about the ripples on the lake and how they...rippled. Edwards is also guilty (which is pointed out by the other review and I had missed - probably because I do the same thing) of describing things in three's. I do everything in three's. I decorate in three's, design jewelry in three's, and (obviously) describe in three's. It's effective occassionally, but can be overwhelming and exhausting. I didn't realize her tactic at the time, I just knew that I was skimming a lot. I hate skimming anything that is not a NY Times article or a textbook. When I read her review, I had my own ah-ha moment.

Lastly, Edwards relies heavily on over-used metaphors...water and rebirth, locks and keys. I would expect more from an English professor, especially a UK English professor. I can only suggest that she sit down with a few Pat Conroy books to see how it should be done.

I can only recommend this as an easy beach read...something to cruise through while you have one eye on the book and one eye on your child building sandcastles. I've constructed my own version of Lake of Dreams in my head and it's really quite lovely. The lake is more like an ocean and the weathered Cape Cod-style homes surround a peaceful, quaint downtown, filled with independently-owned bookstores, coffee shops, and antique markets. My one take-away from the book is that image and how it can restore me to calm when I conjure it up. 

Relatively Wordless Wednesday: Rock the Dress

You're doing WHAT??

What if you have a daughter who wants to wear your dress someday?

But that dress was so expensive. You're going to ruin it.

What about donating it? Think about all of those brides who would LOVE to have that dress on their wedding day. You're being selfish. 

And on and on it went....comment after unsolicited comment on how appalling it was to do a Trash the Dress session. And to be fair, I wasn't trashing it. But I was absolutely going to rock it...5 years and 1 month after I said "I do" in it. There wasn't going to be any paint or ocean water or fire. It was just going to be me and my dress and some boots and some amazing jewelry, perched on a train and lying in the creek and sprawled across a bridge. What could go wrong?

At the day's end, I climbed into the shower, still wearing my dress, and started scrubbing with a brush and some soap. Thirty minutes later, I had a clean dress and a cold shower. It is not ruined. It can be worn again, but I'm not going to have a daughter who will want it. It can be donated. It was expensive but it was purchased for one wedding and worn for another, so really it has almost seen 2 weddings. We got our money's worth. And I have these beautiful images to celebrate the happiest day of my life up to this point. Time to cross #13 off the 101 list.

MANY thanks to Abby of Abby Leigh Photography for this afternoon of posing, laughter, and just general fun (and if you're in the central KY area, be sure to look her up!) She sent me a disc of over 100 images and it was so hard to pick to just a few to share with you, but the entire disc is one that I'll treasure forever. If you're tempted to break out the wedding dress (whether you last wore it a month ago or 10 years ago) and do this, I highly recommend it. You will not ruin it, you can always wash it. Unless you set yourself on fire. And then all bets are off.

Small Business Saturday: Not Just Another Catalog Business

Being an active-duty Army Wife means meeting a lot of other wives who own small businesses. From Silpada to Mary Kay to Pampered Chef to Fun Parties and everything in between, these women are taking advantage of catalog businesses to help bring in a little extra income without having to interview for another job every time the military says, "Pack your stuff. You're headed to...X." I buy from Avon occasionally because their clothes are cute and ridiculously inexpensive. And I've been known to purchase make-up from a Mary Kay rep. I even have a few Pampered Chef gadgets in my kitchen drawer (apparently, when they say "don't put the ice cream scooper in the dish washer," they really aren't kidding). But I don't buy Silpada or Lia Sophia or Stella & Dot because, honestly, I like what pours from my brain and through my hands better.


However, I love a monogrammed...anything. I believe it was Reese Witherspoon who said, "If it isn't moving, monogram it." I wholeheartedly agree. And so some of my most cherished pieces feature a swirly or blocked LAM. You know who does monogramming better than anyone? Thirty-one. As luck would have it, they also do colorful patterns, polka dots, and the color pink pretty darn well, too. But sometimes you just really don't know about the quality of the material until you order something (which is why I get all sketched out about ordering anything from a catalog.). A friend of mine from high school (and a Libra who is so close to being a fellow Virgo that she gets an honorary club card from me) is a rep and had been posting the company's specials for the month of March on Facebook. Spend X amount, get these precious cargo totes for just $5 each. Who could resist? As it turns out, my sister's birthday is in March and she definitely needed a colorful, multi-pocketed, monogrammed beach tote for their impromptu trips to the sand, sun, and surf (oh the glory of living so, so, so close to the coast). I placed my order and a week later, this arrived:

in all of its monogrammed glory

with plenty of pockets, both on the outside and inside

The material is a heavy-duty canvas with strong stitching all the way around. Grommets at the top allow her to clip her caribiner with keys and pool pass to the top. A zippered pouch is perfect for money and ....er...womanly things. And she can slide goggles, suntan lotion, and anything else her 2 young daughters may need for a day at the pool or beach so they aren't rooting around in Mommy's bag looking for it. Not pictured here is the matching keychain in the same burst of yellow fabric, as well as the 2 small totes I got for $5.00 each (which are monogrammed and will be revealed later), and the pink ruffle clutch that I was able to justify getting myself as a late Valentine's Day/early Military Spouse Appreciation Day gift. It's a polyester blend so I can fit my keys, phone, pool/gate pass, and my ID in it and if it gets wet at the pool, it repels the water and dries quickly.

All of this, with shipping, ran me a little over $100. Honestly, I think that's a bargain because the quality of the material and the embroidery is just that amazing. I have been giving our bank account a workout over the past few months, but as soon as it gets a little breathing room, I'll be back for more. A pink polka dotted and monogrammed cooler may be perfect for picnics in the park and the purses with interchangable outsides really appeals to my desire for customization. Thirty-one is one of the few companies I know who run deeply discounted specials almost every month. And when you buy from a Thirty-one representative, you are helping her support her own family. It may not be handmade, but it's certainly a small business and vital to keeping our money local. Should you need a rep, I just happen to have one, too. Look at that...me being all helpful. And if you find something you love today, June's special is a large utility tote for $10 (regular price $35) for every $35 you spend. Large utility totes are awesome. They will fit almost everything except a dead body.

The bottom line:

Represenative: Natalie Bruner

Website: http://www.mythirtyone.com/natbruner/

Cost: Depends on how fancy you go. Everything is reasonably priced. Monogramming is additional, but it's minimal. Don't forget to factor in shipping. The quality is comparable to Land's End (as in, buy it once and have it for the rest of your life. I'm still wearing a gray sweatshirt I got from there my junior year in high school).

Shipping: About a week.

Recommend?: Absolutely! Especially if you are a girly girl who loves to see her initials in thread! 





What Did I Miss?

OK, so yes...I fell off the face of the earth. No, I can't promise it won't happen again. There are a lot of changes going on around these parts. I finally launched the D&E blog, we got our move date for Ft. Lee (which is not until next year but I have to start stressing about it now because I must remain true to my nature), and I'm hosting a family-wide gathering in about 2 weeks. Also, I've been spending too much time on HGTV and Pinterest, which both remind me that all of these things need to be done with style, pizazz, and attention to detail. We also spent 2 nights in Atlanta last weekend and hit up the Carter Presidential Library (because a person can only visit the World of Coke and the Georgia Aquarium so many times in this life and because it's entirely too tropical to be outside at the zoo). But I'm back with some stuff to share (or cut and paste, as the case may be) from the May edition of House Beautiful. The 101 Designer Tips in May's issue made the entire year's subscription totally worth it and I'm going to share some of them with you, randomly, 10 at a time. If you've watched as much HGTV on hotel cable as I have in the past 4 days, you will absolutely appreciate this. Here we go...

1. Start your living room furniture plan with the best seat in the room and work from there.

2. To give rooms architectural detail when they don't have any, paint a 1 1/2" to 2" lining stripe around the ceiling and up the walls in the corners. It's a rich touch, a way to get a lot of look with just paint. (I wish there was a picture of this because I'm having a hard time envisioning it. Seems to me, you would just be outlining your box, which would further emphasize that you live in a box.)

3. Where to hang artwork? 63" on center above the floor is a perfect viewing height for most pieces.

4. When hanging a series of pictures together, keep the gap between them 2" to 2 1/2" to really utilize wall space and keep a minimum of 9" between art and tops of chairs and sofas. (Presumably so guests have some time to react should something fall off the wall.)

5. 3M Command Strips are fantastic to use when hanging art over mirrors, millwork panels, or vintage wallcovering. (This suggestion brought to you by 3M.)

6. When framing artwork that requires a mat, specify a mat with 8-ply thickness - the increased depth of the resulting bevel can make anything look important. (I should try this with my college diploma, which I am not at all using.)

7. Don't hang a mirror between windows. The spatial void it creates distracts from the view. And don't fall prey to using mirrors in every room or over every mantel. Mirrors are not art, and a room needs art. (Unless you are me and would look at yourself in a clock face if that's all that was available.)

8. The perfect amount of space between a mirror and the top of a mantel is 7". (Someone else has been reading House Beautiful as this quote is ALL OVER Pinterest right now.)

9. The ideal height to hang your flat-screen TV is at eye level when you're in viewing position. The ideal viewing distance is 1 1/2 times the size of your flat screen. (Unless you're at our house, where we've attempted to squeeze as much furniture as possible into 1500 sq feet and viewing the TV gives the exact same experience as being at the IMAX.)

10. Float something in the room - a sofa, a lounge chair - to avoid the dance hall look. Think of it as an opportunity to show off the back. Do something with the back. (Check Pinterest for ideas on DOING SOMETHING with the back.)

And now I'm going to attempt to write something for tomorrow. Because it seems I might have gotten my groove back...in that cut and paste sort of way.