Last weekend, we were at Lowe's when he saw an actual "squirrel-guard" (I can't believe such a thing exists, but I also can't believe a squirrel can vault its way onto a pole that's about as thick as a Sharpie marker. We've learned that Georgia is rich in critters that God intended to live forever: squirrels and roaches). He put the squirrel guard on and sat back at his desk, with his feet propped up, looking out the back windows, and waited. No squirrels. Neal = 1, squirrels = 1.
When I came home on Wednesday afternoon after running errands, I found 2 squirrels hanging from the bottom of the feeder with one more perched on top. Neal = 1, squirrels = 2. I took a picture so Neal would know I was not making this shiz up. He stood, leaning against the back door, until he saw one make a running start, then squirrel-vault onto the bush and propel from the bush onto the feeder. His hand pounded against the glass door and he yelled, "Those sons of bitches!"
That night, he moved the entire feeder to the middle of the back yard. The only way to get up is to shimmy the pole and then climb over the squirrel guard. The birds now have the feeder to themselves again. Neal = 2, squirrels = 2. Although, I think Neal considers this a victory.
If you can read this and not think of Drum with his BB gun, shooting into the trees on the day of Shelby's wedding, then you're probably not my people.
2. We have new neighbors. That happens on an Air Force base. Turn-over rate is high and even in our more settled area of base, people are constantly moving in and moving out. The neighbors that just moved in is a family of 8. They are replacing a family of 8. Except...we never saw them. In fact, the only way we knew they were a family of 8 is because the license plate on their stretch Lincoln said "the 8 of us." But I guess that could be 2 parents, 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a couple of aunts or something. We never saw these kids out playing or riding bikes.
The new family? Is everywhere. The kids are constantly out riding bikes, walking their 2 rat-terriers (and letting them leave little rat-terrier poop on the golf course...FORE! and watch your step), playing in the yard, and I swear they are multiplying. We live on a circle and it's not that big. Every time I turn around, there's at least 2 or 3. That's fine. I believe in kids playing outside. Indoor free time is what's wrong with kids today. BUT when Neal and I go for walks at night, we'll be less than 6' from them and say hello and they just stare at us. I don't think it's a Stranger Danger thing, I think they're just rude. I mean, I'm wearing a big, floppy hat and Neal is wearing this hat:
3. As you may have heard, UK won a little thing called the NCAA National Championship a couple of weeks ago. The team is now touring the state with Coach Cal and the trophy. At each stop, they meet the fans, take pictures, kiss some hands and shake some babies...and sometimes they get a key to the city. Like they did in Pikeville. Pikeville...home to Hillbilly Days. I'm not making this up. So, they presented their key with the below plaque. I cry for the children of Pikeville. And for the entire English Department down there.
4. The award for best Facebook status update to celebrate Friday the 13th today goes to Kelly, who asked if anyone wanted to come to her parent's cabin on the lake tonight. She invited her friend, Jason, too. Well-played, Kelly.
5. And finally, Mama Virgo and Anna Banana arrive in about 5 hours. The porch is clean, the wine has been purchased, and there's 7-layer dip to make. I will try very hard to post a Small Business Saturday tomorrow, but it could land on Monday...depending on if Cracker Barrel calls our names in the morning. Hellooooo cheese grits.
Happy Champagne Friday! And don't go to anyone's cabin on the lake tonight. I've seen how that ends. It's a bloody mess.