Friday, April 13, 2012

Random Musings Friday

Linking up today with Shana to share the week's random. Have some random of your own? Grab the button and pop over to Shana's to share!

1. I can't believe I don't have any pictures from the bird feeder that Neal "squirrel-proofed" when we first moved here. It involved cardboard from a pizza box and lots of duct tape. But squirrels are smart little suckers and they figured out a way to leap on and actually use the suspended platform to climb to the birdseed. Neal = 0, squirrels = 1. After they drained the feeder in about 12 hours and Neal was preparing to leave for Iraq, there was no time to refill it and develop a new plan. So the birds went without for over a year.

Last weekend, we were at Lowe's when he saw an actual "squirrel-guard" (I can't believe such a thing exists, but I also can't believe a squirrel can vault its way onto a pole that's about as thick as a Sharpie marker. We've learned that Georgia is rich in critters that God intended to live forever: squirrels and roaches). He put the squirrel guard on and sat back at his desk, with his feet propped up, looking out the back windows, and waited. No squirrels. Neal = 1, squirrels = 1.

When I came home on Wednesday afternoon after running errands, I found 2 squirrels hanging from the bottom of the feeder with one more perched on top. Neal = 1, squirrels = 2. I took a picture so Neal would know I was not making this shiz up. He stood, leaning against the back door, until he saw one make a running start, then squirrel-vault onto the bush and propel from the bush onto the feeder. His hand pounded against the glass door and he yelled, "Those sons of bitches!"

That night, he moved the entire feeder to the middle of the back yard. The only way to get up is to shimmy the pole and then climb over the squirrel guard. The birds now have the feeder to themselves again. Neal = 2, squirrels = 2. Although, I think Neal considers this a victory.

If you can read this and not think of Drum with his BB gun, shooting into the trees on the day of Shelby's wedding, then you're probably not my people.

2. We have new neighbors. That happens on an Air Force base. Turn-over rate is high and even in our more settled area of base, people are constantly moving in and moving out. The neighbors that just moved in is a family of 8. They are replacing a family of 8. Except...we never saw them. In fact, the only way we knew they were a family of 8 is because the license plate on their stretch Lincoln said "the 8 of us." But I guess that could be 2 parents, 2 kids, 2 dogs, and a couple of aunts or something. We never saw these kids out playing or riding bikes.

The new family? Is everywhere. The kids are constantly out riding bikes, walking their 2 rat-terriers (and letting them leave little rat-terrier poop on the golf course...FORE! and watch your step), playing in the yard, and I swear they are multiplying. We live on a circle and it's not that big. Every time I turn around, there's at least 2 or 3. That's fine. I believe in kids playing outside. Indoor free time is what's wrong with kids today. BUT when Neal and I go for walks at night, we'll be less than 6' from them and say hello and they just stare at us. I don't think it's a Stranger Danger thing, I think they're just rude. I mean, I'm wearing a big, floppy hat and Neal is wearing this hat:

Really??? Do we look like we drive a big white van and keep candy with us at all times? You can't say hello back? And yet, you know what they WILL do? Ride their bikes through our yard. So, I'm creating a new rule: if you can't say hello, you sure as hell can't ride your bikes through our yard. You aren't on the farm.

3. As you may have heard, UK won a little thing called the NCAA National Championship a couple of weeks ago. The team is now touring the state with Coach Cal and the trophy. At each stop, they meet the fans, take pictures, kiss some hands and shake some babies...and sometimes they get a key to the city. Like they did in Pikeville. Pikeville...home to Hillbilly Days. I'm not making this up. So, they presented their key with the below plaque. I cry for the children of Pikeville. And for the entire English Department down there.

I wish I knew who to credit with this photo but it was floating around on Facebook. If it's (not its) yours, please email me so I can make it right.

4. The award for best Facebook status update to celebrate Friday the 13th today goes to Kelly, who asked if anyone wanted to come to her parent's cabin on the lake tonight. She invited her friend, Jason, too. Well-played, Kelly.

5. And finally, Mama Virgo and Anna Banana arrive in about 5 hours. The porch is clean, the wine has been purchased, and there's 7-layer dip to make. I will try very hard to post a Small Business Saturday tomorrow, but it could land on Monday...depending on if Cracker Barrel calls our names in the morning. Hellooooo cheese grits.

Happy Champagne Friday! And don't go to anyone's cabin on the lake tonight. I've seen how that ends. It's a bloody mess. 


  1. Poor Neal. There is no winning with squirrels. Those little bastards never give up.

    You know, I would think kids who have parents in the military would be taught better than that. I really hope you yell at them to get the hell out of your yard.

    Kelly's Facebook post was awesome. It gave me a really good giggle this morning.

    Have fun with Mom and Anna.

  2. So, yeah squirrels guards exist! My grandma has a few squirrel guards on her birdfeeders. Depending on the squirrel, some work and some don't. They really are persistent little assholes or "sons of bitches!". I'm with Neal there. But, they're also highly entertaining and adorable. I think I may have a problem with contradictions.

    In other news: I saw Kelly's status, too, and it took me a solid five minutes to realize that she wasn't over sharing, she was making a hilarious reference to a movie I have never seen. :) Sloooow on the uptake today.

    They could have just stopped with Season. Holy cow. I'm not sure I could hang that on my wall if I were him.

  3. HA! I love that you ladies caught my facebook status this made my day!!! I love making Friday the 13th references it's my fave horror franchise!

    Ugh and I hate rude kids... hate them! We have rude adults in our neighborhood... I might have to discuss that in my friday musings!!!

    Thanks for the shout out girl!!!

  4. Tell Neal that he just needs to give up and learn to love the damn rodents with tails. We did everything they tell you to do, even moving the pole to the dead center of the yard - more than five feet from absolutely everything - and they still were able to climb around the baffle. We just gave up on trying to feed the birds. Now I try to do it with plantings.

    Happy Friday to the whole Ally-family! have a great weekend. xoxo

  5. This is my official first blog comment (although I'm a total blog stalker) and the squirrel thing made me crack up laughing, thus scaring my dogs into the rafters and the kids deal makes me feel like a sane human being for being ticked that the neighbors kids were in my yard, messing with my bird feeders. However, when I confronted the whole mob for being on my patio, the kids answered my questions, while mom stared at me. And finally, after finding a dead mouse in my house (hehe) my fb post was cats = 2 mice = 0 don't f with evolution.

  6. Seriously, today I was out in the storage shed and when I came out I heard a gawd awful screech...I looked up just in time to see a freakin' squirrel FLY across one tree branch in our walnut tree to another. Scared the crap outta me. I need a squirrel guard. Or a gun.

  7. I've never seen such a persistent critter than a squirrel. They crack me up with their antics when they're trying to steal food, but yet it's annoying when they succeed.

    His Wow. ;)


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