Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Purely to Announce Someone Else

You will have to excuse me in my brevity today. Apparently my laptop and my pinkie finger are conspiring against me in an attempt to end all blogging activities. I just typed an entire post, full of wit, wisdom, and sarcasm, only to have it deleted when my computer unexpectedly shut down to install updates. Normally, this not an issue as Blogger saves about every 2.7 seconds. Not today. It didn't save squat. Ever. And then, as I was mid-way into retyping everything that was no longer "off the top of my head," my pinkie reached over and deleted the. whole. thing. Clearly, it's time for a V8 or another cup of coffee or warmer socks. So, let me just say that tomorrow, I'm featuring a guest blogger who is going to discuss the very opposite of the predicament we find ourselves in. While we have gone from suburbia to the middle of everything, she has gone from the middle of everything to suburbia. And just the first couple sentences made me giggle with absolute understanding.

This guest post was going to be extra-perfect because I am supposed to be in suburban Chicago rightthisveryminute, were it not for the complete come-apart of a certain JennAir product in our kitchen. An important product...that keeps my wine and chocolate cool and my Weight Watchers ice cream bars frozen...and is currently being replaced by something other than JennAir.

Dear Maytag,
In case you missed my FaceBook post, JennAir sucks.
Love,
Disappointed in Da Townhouse

Thus, I am cleaning the previous owner's short and curlies out of my bathroom vents and not drinking Bloody Marys for breakfast with Queen Elizabeth. Sometimes life is ruthless. As I continue to clean, unpack boxes, and buy out Target's entire selection of lamps, please enjoy my guest blogger tomorrow and make her feel welcome! After all, she is one of us!

Cheers and Bottoms Up...just 48 more hours...

6 comments:

  1. Short and curlies...GROSS. Enjoy your trip!

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  2. Oh GROSSSSSS!!! I'm seriously making a gagging face thinking about the contents of your vent. Good luck with that. I hope you are wearing gloves.

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  3. I just threw up in my mouth.
    BUT I'm excited to see what you have in store for us tomorrow! Good luck with your vent cleaning!!

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  4. 40-40-40-40-EIGHT hours to gooooo... she wants to drink champagne... nothing to do no where to go..ohhh she wants to drink champagne!

    Vents are not fun... short n' curlies are gross but try finding them in the drawer next to the stove in a new house... NO ME GUSTA!!!

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  5. I don't even open my vents. Ever, and it's precisely because I won't clean what you cleaned. I don't even want to know it's there.

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  6. That is unacceptable.

    Why is it Blogger saves that crappy post you write when you're feeling uninspired, but it can't be bothered to hold on to anything you write when you read it and think, "Hey, I'm pretty good at this!"

    Ass badger.

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That's it, let it all out....