We recently moved out of a one bedroom condo.
By "we" I mean, my husband, myself and our 11 month old.
Out of a 700 square foot, one-bedroom condo in a high rise in downtown Chicago.
Yeah, good times.
But now that we're doing this suburban thing, I realize that there were certain luxuries about living downtown. For one? We were anonymous.
Sure, certain people might know us as those people who are stupid enough to live in a one bedroom with a baby but they lived on other floors. They had other schedules. They had other lives. In the condo, I could happily do whatever the hell I wanted and continue to be encapsulated in our suffocatingly small little place. The people living around us largely ignored us.
The neighbors were not the issue. Because in that condo, we had all the tension we could take already inside the walls.
So, now that we've moved to the suburbs, I'm slowly realizing that things are not so casual now. My neighbors know where I live. I'm no longer one of hundreds of people crammed into a four building complex. I'm one of three people living in a house.
This was never more evident than when I decided to clean out our fridge before garbage day. We had some that needed to get trashed. I dump it into the garbage bag where it promptly begins to ooze out. Fantastic.
So, my new-homeowner self begins to freak. I crouch low to the ground and scurry with the bag so the mess will be kept in a confined space. I rush around the side of the house and hurl the bag into our garbage can. I fly back into the house to get paper towels to cleanse the beef juice from my garage floor.
As I do this I realize: the garage door is open. People are driving by. And I have enacted this insane garbage tossing ballet for the whole neighborhood to see.
While wearing plaid pajama pants. And turquoise knee-high socks. And an orange shirt that says "Don't need no credit card to ride this train".
So, yeah. is over. As is casual anytime they can see me. Because I have already established myself as the nutso of the neighborhood.
Or, I could just roll with it and prepare to host my own White Trash Bash.