On the Ninth Day of Christmas

...my bestie gave to me,
the feeling of being a kiddie.

One of the things I love most about Shana is that she sort of intuitively knows where to take us in the city. For example, the Hershey Store? Eh, pass. FAO Schwarz? Yes, definitely, lead the way! I've drooled over my fair share of Barbies, Cabbage Patch Dolls and 5' tall giraffes in the FAO Schwarz stores between NYC and Chicago. I've seen Big approximately 746 times and have daydreamed about having my very own giant floor piano on which to dance out Heart and Soul. And because she loves me back, Shana's first 2 years of birthday gifts to Blue included...

and...

 I love it when having a kid means indulging all of your childhood fantasies. So, of course we would want to pop into FAO Schwarz at Christmas!

FAO Schwarz was founded by Frederick August Otto Schwarz, a German immigrant and toy retailer, along with his brothers in 1862. Although the store has changed names (it was originally called the Toy Bazaar) and locations and, most recently, ownership (it was acquired by Toys R Us in 2009), its 2 floors of games, toys and hobbies still make it paradise for kids of all ages.

Our first stop was the second floor, where you can stand in line to dance or stomp out a tune on the floor piano or browse the extensive selection of Legos (as well as hundreds of other toys. Literally, my mind was blown by the sheer number of toys for sale in this store and I had to really keep my Mama Bear in check. Not only is it unwise to shower your child with 1/2 the toy store, we couldn't possibly fit it in our carry-on luggage).

But first, an $800 teddy bear...

 via Shana

For the price of TWO Vitamix blenders, you can have this bear. No, it doesn't ground your chia seeds and kale into a delicious and nutritious smoothie, but it does make for a soft landing should your children decide to hop in the laundry basket and ride down the stairs.

Once upstairs, I saw the line of kids (who most likely had never even heard of Big) waiting to play on the novelty piano and decided it was just a smidge too embarrassing to stand in that line without a kid to blame it on. Next time, Blue. You and me and the piano make 3! So, we meandered the aisles and stood in awe of the brilliant Lego builders that exist in this world. 

via Shana

I'm especially fond of Batman's Lego-shaped quads. That's how mine used to look. Sort of chiseled and stacked. I'm also pretty impressed by how Neal can look exactly like Batman with just a moment's notice...

 Santa, Baby...

I'm fairly certain Shana does not want me to publicly post a photo of her pinching the nipple of the Statue of Liberty, but well...party with a blogger and you're probably going to end up on the blog. 

I have to admit, that is some serious Lego talent. When Blue got the Planes Propwash Junction Lego set for Christmas, although it came with step-by-step, color-coded directions, it still took me a solid 20 minutes to assemble the whole thing. I cannot even imagine the time it takes to build a life-size toy soldier. I hope it pays well.

On the first floor, there is a studio for designing your own puppet. For $99, you can create a puppet that looks just like you (or the love of your life or your mom or the person you're stalking...whomever...).

This bearded chef was one of the examples on display. I so very much want to come back and do this someday. One hundred dollars is, to me, a completely reasonable sum for a mini-me.

Downstairs is also home to allllllllllll of the candy. Sweet candy...sour candy...little candy...

I mean...candy as big as your head...

Or, in Shana's case, twice the size of your head.

In addition to the nostalgic candy and the popular candy, they also had Christmas sweets for sale...including a wide variety of gingerbread men/house kits. Naturally, a big seller in 2014 was the...

Do you wanna build a sugar cookie castle? Eh, not really. Looks complicated.

But the 2014 holidays just wouldn't be complete without something zombie-related. 

Yes, children...let's have a frank discussion about the undead on our way to Grandma's for the Christmas feast. Sounds like fun! Although to be fair, it was at my eye-level and not at like...Blue's.

As we prepared to head back out into the wintry rain, I pointed out the enormous wheel-shaped bin of gummy treats to Neal. This is where I bought his 1-pound bag of gummy Army men when he was deployed. I shipped them shortly thereafter and they arrived in his August care package as a giant gob of green goo. He even asked on the phone that night, "What is this green goo stuff you sent?" So, I took the opportunity to show him what they should've looked like. He was much more impressed.

Shana wanted to show us the windows at Bergdorf's before we finally called it an evening. Even at that late hour, there was a crowd 3-people deep hovering around each window. They were breathtaking and I can't wait to share them with you...tomorrow.