Thursday, August 15, 2013

Random Musings Friday (or why you should never park your car at the public library when you are having an affair)

Happy State Fair Friday! And by that, I mean the KY State Fair has come to Louisville and the last time I was there, Alex the Butcher from Kroger was out front signing autographs. Remember him? That was when Kroger was puttin' on airs that they were THE place for all of your choice meat cuts. Now there's Whole Foods and dedicated, locally-owned meat delis around town. And Alex is long gone. He was probably fired and went sulking off into the night, in search of a deer or a groundhog to carve up. I'm sorry, Alex.

Out of delayed curiosity, I wikipedia'ed "Alex", whose real name is Larry Cedar. Apparently, he has been a busy little beaver, starring in many independent roles opposite big celebrities. He was also the creature on the wing in Twilight Zone Movie (which is what I think about EVERY TIME I get a window seat on a plane) and he played Chevy Chase's dad on Community. He's actually doing quite well out in LA. I'm so glad he isn't skinning and sauteing woodland creatures in his basement. 

Anyway, Alex was one of the main attractions that year. This year it's Duck Dynasty. I'm not so sure this is progress. But we're going to load up Blue anyway after work tomorrow and check out some funnel fries, a blue-ribbon cow, and the ugliest lamp contest. I'm irrationally excited about the whole thing. And then Saturday we will clean the garage and hang our flag (which, for whatever reason, makes me think of that Cyndi Lauper song about my grandma and your grandma...). I will not at all be surprised if you wish you could party with us. Here are a few tidbits from this week and last. I had forgotten about all the folly that good ole Kentuckians can offer up. It is good to be home.

1) Blue and I went to Meijer on the south side of Louisville a couple of weeks ago. I firmly believe that the only place to buy quality produce is at Meijer. This makes it worth the 30 minute drive. I usually park way out in Scooby Doo row G because there is a post-drive diaper change involved and I consider everyone I meet in a parking lot to be some kind of sexual deviant. As I was changing his diaper that day, who should pull up beside us but at an actual criminal...complete with ankle cuff. God love her heart, she was so proud of her new bling that she climbed out of the minivan wearing nothing but a cami, the shortest jean skirt I've ever seen in public, and some flip flops. Well, also the tracker strapped around her leg. I'm so glad that if I am ever convicted of a crime, at least I will still have access to fresh fruit and vegetables.

2) The short version of this long justification for our decision is that Blue is now 1 and needs some socialization and some time apart from Mama & Daddy. He needs to understand that there are other adults who we trust to care for him in our absence. We are using the on-post child development center for this purpose. It's hourly care and we are starting him at 1-hour but will only put him in for 3 hours/day max, 3 days/week. It's not even part time. It's part part time. But it is long enough for me to run down to the gym for a spinning class and some crunches before it's time to pick him back up. Today was the first day of daycare. I've been a wreck for almost 4 days but Blue didn't fall apart until I walked out the door and left him in the care of total strangers. One of the strangers introduced herself as the full time staff worker for that room. I believe the words she used were "this is my room" and "I'm always here." Then she proceeded to tell me about how she has been doing this for a long time, how she's really good, and how the gut-wrenching screams of a child left behind didn't unnerve her. OK, I thought...we are on to something. She's got this. Until I was sitting in my car after I dropped him off, recounting the last 15 minutes to Neal on the phone, and I saw her leave. Like with a purse and keys and everything. And she didn't come back until I was standing in the room, picking Blue up for the day. I'm still confused about the whole thing. How can you sell yourself as the best person to leave him with but then leave for the entire hour that he's there? It was a rough start to this particular journey. Maybe it will smooth out some.

3) A couple of months ago, I enrolled Blue in the Babies and Me program at the library. It's 30 minutes of Old MacDonald Had a Farm and finger plays and reading, but Blue eventually came to love it. The only downside is the class ends right at his lunchtime so we always end up eating lunch in his carseat after class. A few weeks ago, we were finishing up his fruit when I saw a full size truck with dark tinted windows pull up behind an SUV. A sharply dressed woman in treacherous high heels bounced her way out of the SUV and into the truck, kissing the driver as they sped away. I mean sped away. In the public library parking lot. OK if this doesn't sound exactly like an affair, I don't know what does. They weren't a married couple rushing off to the deli for lunch...the library in E-town is in he middle of the bypass. Not a restaurant or deli for miles. BUT there are lots of neighborhoods. Neighborhoods where a man with a full size truck and tinted windows might live...where he may take his secretary for a nooner at...well...noon. Pssst....we see youuuuuu.

4) Lastly, I sliced the top of my hand shaving my legs last weekend. Absolutely no alcohol was involved. And I wasn't terribly sleep-deprived. And I was just as surprised as anyone when it happened. I still don't know what went wrong. But that skin on the top of the hand? Tender. Maybe that's why people don't normally shave it.

OK I have to go see a man about a Tilt-a-Whirl and a deep-fried twinkie. Enjoy your weekend! Cheers!

1 comment:

  1. Ah, the State Fair and Annual Fried Everything Fest! Glad you are starting Blue early, so he will appreciate culture.

    Good note on Library parking. If I ever get a boy friend I promise to remember that!

    Happy weekend, back at you!


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