How We Fared at the Orange County Fair

The day after the PA Farm Show closed this year, Blue began asking when we could go back. And it's been like that, off and on, for 6 months. I finally had to break the obvious, yet still devastating, news that we don't live in Pennsylvania anymore. The Farm Show will have to wait. But until then...we have the Orange County Fair!

I started seeing billboards around town for the OC Fair about a week after we moved here and my first mistake was thinking it would be like any other county fair. I mean, we aren't judging. Many a wonderful night has been spent riding the tilt-a-whirl and eating funnel cakes at my hometown fair (which has, in years past, awarded the 3rd winner up in the beauty pageant a burrito from Qdoba and the winner a $25 gift certificate to Merle Norman...so I guess I'm saying the bar hasn't been set unfathomably high for this KY girl). But...no...this is Orange County, California. Just as everything is bigger in Texas, everything is a production in California.

When you put the address, 88 Fair Drive, into Waze, it brings you right to the Yellow Gate, which also happens to be the farm animal area. This was unplanned perfection as the only thing Blue expressed any interest in seeing was the livestock. But first...

the FFA/4H turkey judging competition.

This kid ended up winning and maybe it's the California rubbing off on me, but he reminds me of a Disney character. Like Aladdin or Hector from Coco. I can't put my finger on it, but someone...

Those poor turkeys hung suspended for at least 5 minutes while the judge made her way down the line, inspecting...well...whatever it is they look for when judging a turkey. And this is no small feat because, apparently, they are heavy as heck. I wouldn't challenge any turkey farmer to a push-up contest. If all this makes you hungry, they'll be auctioned off next Saturday, the 21st. Getcha some!

From there, we grabbed some turkey leg tacos (sorry...how could we not?) and headed over to watch the pig races.

The next time Neal wants to smoke a pork butt, this image will be the first one in my head. Sorry, piggies.

The rest of the livestock is in this area, as well. Cattle, goats, sheep, pigs, rabbits, lambs and chickens are all in various stages of preparing to be judged. From bathing the goats and babysitting the herd...

to feeding the pigs and walking the turkeys,

everyone was getting ready for their close-up, Mr. DeMille.

Especially this lady...

and these two.

When we had had all we could take of pigs smiling in their sleep,

we ventured over to the Main Mall area for the arts and crafts competition, as well as an Irish band giving a free concert in "The Hangar".

While Blue makes a bee line for the farm animals every year, my first stop is the cake competition. And it never fails to amaze and inspire. Although I am still waiting for Nailed It to call about the blueberry murder scene I tried to pass off as snowman pancakes last Christmas, I can't help but look for a way to recreate these beauties.

Maybe...

I could...

possibly...

Oh forget it. Where is the wine tasting?

Some of my other favorites from the arts & crafts competitions (and events I've never seen at a fair before, such as the table decorating contest, which judges the participant based on accuracy of the theme and correctly placed utensils on the table. How very Downton Abby of them.).

This one got my vote. Up is one of my favorite movies and this table won an award for accuracy.

But there was more amazingness to be found in the Promenade building.

And then there was the wedding of James Irvine (of Irvine, California...yes, that Irvine family) and Susan Jeske (the first Ms. America and current CEO of the Ms. America Pageant) last month. As you can imagine, it was quite the storybook affair. So much so, as it turns out, that the wedding dress, shoes, cake, champagne glasses and the brooch bouquet were on display at the fair. Sort of unusual as far as fair exhibits go, but they are the darlings of Orange County.

And for my next DIY project, I will be bedazzling our champagne flutes from 2006 and submitting them to the fair back home.

Don't miss an opportunity to "Free Your Inner Farmer" by Instagramming your kitchen gadget angel wings

or snapping a pic of that one time your son was being a brat but it actually worked out perfectly, much to his chagrin...

After all that, we needed ice cream. Blue settled on a boring blended cone, but I had to have the cow patty.

It's simple to make but I couldn't resist dining on something named after a steaming pile of cow poo. Happy cows poop sprinkles.

We skipped the carnival rides and games and headed to "Centennial Farm", where the milking demonstration was held and we missed our chance to walk right up and order a Pink's hotdog.

Seriously. Not a single person in line. This makes me weep a little for the 40 minutes we stood in line in L.A. a few weeks ago.

I also nearly had a 5-year old fit when the tween working the register at Pignotti's told me they hadn't started making the spaghetti doughnuts yet. I mean, how do you advertise a spaghetti doughnut and then not deliver on the second day of the fair? I think I've figured out how to make them at home, but if someone goes and has one, please Skype me before you dig in.

We finally wandered over to the "Family Fairway" after watching the cows being milked, just in time for the Russell Brothers Circus show. After buying the $2 (6-page) coloring book they were hawking (Neal pointed out it was the cheapest way to buy a souvenir from the fair, especially since we had nixed the stuffed pig Blue was begging for after the pig races), we settled in for a fun demonstration of magic and human talent. Neal seems to think this is a 3-generation affair, with the father being the magician...

(he won a fan for life when he turned a dove into a house cat)
the son performing feats of human strength and balance

and the grandson juggling oranges and plastic bats.

Whatever the relationship of the cast, it was a cute show and I'm glad it was free.

After the disappointment of the spaghetti doughnut, I was further convinced that I needed to try the peanut butter & jelly & sriracha funnel cake being offered just outside the big top. Neal tried to pretend like he wasn't going to have any, but I grabbed 3 forks because I'm not an idiot. It was sweet, spicy and just a little nutty. It was perfection on a plate.

Also, nothing says SoCal fair like a churro, some cotton candy in a party hat, an ice cream cone, an orange and a corn cob posing for pictures with the guests...

I just keep thinking of that line in Hope Floats when they are driving back to Texas and the daughter says, "Is this where you were Cream of Corn?" and Sandra Bullock says, "QUEEN of Corn, honey."
Three years runnin'...

There is also a petting zoo in this area. Nothing too exotic. Well, except for these guys.

and sleeping baby pigs

and freshly hatched baby chicks.

When the cute-o-meter maxed out, we headed over to the Heroes Hall to color postcards for Servicemembers in the VA hospital in Long Beach.

By this point, we had been at the fair for about 7 1/2 hours. The sun was starting to set and people were arriving by the hundreds, with a line forming at the ticket stands and traffic backing up onto the freeway from the off-ramp. It was time for us to go. Thank you, Orange County Fair. It was the real deal.

                                                    Y'all come back now, ya here? 

If you go:
1. Parking is $10/vehicle, cash.
2. There are bathrooms EVERYWHERE. If there is a line, don't even stand there. You'll find another one in about 50 feet.
3. Most food vendors accept credit cards, some do not.
4. Active duty Servicemembers get in free, they can buy 1/2 price tickets for their family members. I don't think the family members get this rate if the Servicemember isn't with them.
5. There is a gigantic stand of daily maps/schedules when you enter the gate. They are free. Grab one. Use it.
6. Some events are scheduled at certain times, such as the Peking Acrobats (which I highly recommend seeing - we caught the very end but it looked like a great show), the pig racing and the animal judging.
7. There are annoying vendors trying to sell time shares in exotic locales like Hawaii. Ignore them like the folks trying to sell phones at the entrance of Costco and you'll be fine.
8. If you want to pay $2/person to go into a trailer to see a live alligator in the livestock area, go for it. But we skipped it and I think that's OK, too.
9. If something looks interesting, go check it out. As we were meandering around the ice cream truck, we stumbled upon the Irish band and while on our way to the petting zoo, we came across a brass band. You literally never know what will be around the next corner.
10. The earlier the better to beat the crowds. I thought coming in when the doors opened at 11 would be a challenge, but as it turns out, most people don't start really showing up until 7 hours later. I'm sure the fair is magical like Disneyland at night, but just know you won't be the only one with that idea.

Also...the orange trees aren't real.

Unless they've started dangling by wires.