Fort Mac Firsts

California has been a bit of a culture shock, although probably more for me than anyone else in the family. Blue is just excited that we can run down to the beach for an hour if the mood arises and Neal has been working nearly every waking hour since our first Monday here. But I've had to make some...adjustments.

1. Traffic is terrible here.
I can't even imagine what it's like as you get closer to Los Angeles. Although we technically live in LA county, it isn't like you're sitting at a dead stop on the 405. But you should double (and sometimes triple) how long it would normally take you to get somewhere. My new rule of thumb for appointments: number of miles x 3 = bring a book and the phone number of the place where you're going because you may need to kill time or call and tell them you're en route.

2. Port of LA is breathtaking every. single. time.

These pictures don't even do it justice. Neal had tried to warn me before I got here. "To go south, you have to cross 2 huge bridges that go way up into the sky." After watching a documentary about that bridge in Arkansas that broke apart and half of it fell into the river, I've been a bit of a gephyrophobe ever since. So driving into the clouds on a bridge loaded with truckers coming from the docks sounded awesome. After a week, I've grown fairly numb to it. I just drive in the right lane with my Pennsylvania tags and know that I will get where I'm going, eventually. But the view...there is no way to accurately describe what it's like to see thousands of containers, stacked on top of each other, for miles along the waterfront. This country has a serious shopping addiction. One day, as we drove across the Vincent Bridge, I was trying to explain to Blue that many of those containers hold Amazon orders (look at me, driving across an enormous bridge in the sky AND talking to a 5 year old). Kind of like knowing where your produce comes from, it's equally as important to know where your Legos come from. 
3. Free range peacocks have the right-of-way. 

We first noticed these fellas as we walked to Blue's new school (right on the freaking Pacific Ocean, I might add. The dog park is right next door. The pups and kids have the best view around here). They chat to each other from roof tops and, occasionally, cross the road. (Why did the peacock cross the road? He thought he could do it better than the chicken.) Yesterday, I had to stop my car and wait for a peacock to decide if he was going to go left, right, or down the middle. They respond somewhat to honking but, like chickens, generally seem to stroll whichever way the wind carries them. Maybe I'll get tired of seeing a peacock, feathers fanned and strutting around someone's front yard, but the shiny hasn't worn off yet.

4. You know what they say about assumptions. 
It's no shock that homelessness is a bit of a problem in LA. I mean, if I was homeless, I would probably want to be in LA too. The temperature hasn't varied more than 3 degrees since we got here. And this is why, when I was at Smart & Final (which is a chain of fairly nice, reasonably priced grocery stores that I ignored the first week we were here because I thought it was like salvaged food) last week, I naturally assumed they were scanning my cart before it left the store to make sure it didn't go missing. I finally Googled it and saw on a Mystery Shoppers' website that they do that to make sure there's nothing left on the bottom of the cart. What a pain in the butt for the cashier, but I'm sure it saves the company a boatload in unpaid items every year. 

5. They are serious about infestations. 
When we crossed from Arizona into California, we were stopped by border patrol. They asked us if we were carrying any produce or plants. All I had was fruit gummies and a banana. He waved us through. But I called Neal because he was carrying a plumeria, a rose bush, one stalk of bamboo and a cache of fruit I had picked up before trekking into the Grand Canyon. They ended up waving him through, too, but we were stopped because they are trying to prevent a re-infestation of the medflies (Mediterranean Fruit Fly). California has also been attacked by Poinsettia White Flies in the Imperial Valley and Oriental Fruit Flies in Laguna Beach, among many other pests. We were contacted about 20 minutes after we moved in about receiving a Gypsy Moth Inspection since our outdoor patio furniture was moving in from out of state. And when Neal was at work yesterday, he learned more than he probably ever wanted to know about the Medflies. Controlling them is a 24-7 job and I feel there is a lot of stuff like that going on in California - we have no idea it's happening and just how complex it is. 

6. This town has about 3 stoplights but 73625282937464 stop signs. Some of the intersections have 4-way, some 2-way. It's almost impossible to talk and drive at the same time. It's a miracle more people don't get t-boned around here. 

7. June Gloom
I've met 736229373 moms (well, like 7 but it felt like at least 20 billion last week) and they were all chatting about "June Gloom" and how it seems to have descended upon us a bit early this year. Apparently, June Gloom is when the sun doesn't come out for basically the entire month of June and is the closest SoCal gets to "winter". I will say, we have been freezing since we got here (and by freezing I mean I had to unpack a couple pairs of jeans and some hoodies on day one) and in the past 4 days, we've only seen the sun from 3-8 PM. Yes, it seems June Gloom is upon us, which is unfortunate for everyone who was antsy pants about visiting us and booked their flights for next month. I hear July is a return to the sunny SoCal we've all expected.

I will say...I have yet to see a horse and buggy. I kind of miss them. And Utz Dill Pickle potato chips. SoCal just doesn't have the corner on the snack market the way PA does. But I do know where you can pick up octopus for dinner, so there's that.