Fort Mac Firsts

California has been a bit of a culture shock, although probably more for me than anyone else in the family. Blue is just excited that we can run down to the beach for an hour if the mood arises and Neal has been working nearly every waking hour since our first Monday here. But I've had to make some...adjustments.

1. Traffic is terrible here.
I can't even imagine what it's like as you get closer to Los Angeles. Although we technically live in LA county, it isn't like you're sitting at a dead stop on the 405. But you should double (and sometimes triple) how long it would normally take you to get somewhere. My new rule of thumb for appointments: number of miles x 3 = bring a book and the phone number of the place where you're going because you may need to kill time or call and tell them you're en route.

2. Port of LA is breathtaking every. single. time.

These pictures don't even do it justice. Neal had tried to warn me before I got here. "To go south, you have to cross 2 huge bridges that go way up into the sky." After watching a documentary about that bridge in Arkansas that broke apart and half of it fell into the river, I've been a bit of a gephyrophobe ever since. So driving into the clouds on a bridge loaded with truckers coming from the docks sounded awesome. After a week, I've grown fairly numb to it. I just drive in the right lane with my Pennsylvania tags and know that I will get where I'm going, eventually. But the view...there is no way to accurately describe what it's like to see thousands of containers, stacked on top of each other, for miles along the waterfront. This country has a serious shopping addiction. One day, as we drove across the Vincent Bridge, I was trying to explain to Blue that many of those containers hold Amazon orders (look at me, driving across an enormous bridge in the sky AND talking to a 5 year old). Kind of like knowing where your produce comes from, it's equally as important to know where your Legos come from. 
3. Free range peacocks have the right-of-way. 

We first noticed these fellas as we walked to Blue's new school (right on the freaking Pacific Ocean, I might add. The dog park is right next door. The pups and kids have the best view around here). They chat to each other from roof tops and, occasionally, cross the road. (Why did the peacock cross the road? He thought he could do it better than the chicken.) Yesterday, I had to stop my car and wait for a peacock to decide if he was going to go left, right, or down the middle. They respond somewhat to honking but, like chickens, generally seem to stroll whichever way the wind carries them. Maybe I'll get tired of seeing a peacock, feathers fanned and strutting around someone's front yard, but the shiny hasn't worn off yet.

4. You know what they say about assumptions. 
It's no shock that homelessness is a bit of a problem in LA. I mean, if I was homeless, I would probably want to be in LA too. The temperature hasn't varied more than 3 degrees since we got here. And this is why, when I was at Smart & Final (which is a chain of fairly nice, reasonably priced grocery stores that I ignored the first week we were here because I thought it was like salvaged food) last week, I naturally assumed they were scanning my cart before it left the store to make sure it didn't go missing. I finally Googled it and saw on a Mystery Shoppers' website that they do that to make sure there's nothing left on the bottom of the cart. What a pain in the butt for the cashier, but I'm sure it saves the company a boatload in unpaid items every year. 

5. They are serious about infestations. 
When we crossed from Arizona into California, we were stopped by border patrol. They asked us if we were carrying any produce or plants. All I had was fruit gummies and a banana. He waved us through. But I called Neal because he was carrying a plumeria, a rose bush, one stalk of bamboo and a cache of fruit I had picked up before trekking into the Grand Canyon. They ended up waving him through, too, but we were stopped because they are trying to prevent a re-infestation of the medflies (Mediterranean Fruit Fly). California has also been attacked by Poinsettia White Flies in the Imperial Valley and Oriental Fruit Flies in Laguna Beach, among many other pests. We were contacted about 20 minutes after we moved in about receiving a Gypsy Moth Inspection since our outdoor patio furniture was moving in from out of state. And when Neal was at work yesterday, he learned more than he probably ever wanted to know about the Medflies. Controlling them is a 24-7 job and I feel there is a lot of stuff like that going on in California - we have no idea it's happening and just how complex it is. 

6. This town has about 3 stoplights but 73625282937464 stop signs. Some of the intersections have 4-way, some 2-way. It's almost impossible to talk and drive at the same time. It's a miracle more people don't get t-boned around here. 

7. June Gloom
I've met 736229373 moms (well, like 7 but it felt like at least 20 billion last week) and they were all chatting about "June Gloom" and how it seems to have descended upon us a bit early this year. Apparently, June Gloom is when the sun doesn't come out for basically the entire month of June and is the closest SoCal gets to "winter". I will say, we have been freezing since we got here (and by freezing I mean I had to unpack a couple pairs of jeans and some hoodies on day one) and in the past 4 days, we've only seen the sun from 3-8 PM. Yes, it seems June Gloom is upon us, which is unfortunate for everyone who was antsy pants about visiting us and booked their flights for next month. I hear July is a return to the sunny SoCal we've all expected.

I will say...I have yet to see a horse and buggy. I kind of miss them. And Utz Dill Pickle potato chips. SoCal just doesn't have the corner on the snack market the way PA does. But I do know where you can pick up octopus for dinner, so there's that.

The Rabbit Hole of My Mind

After 4 weeks of chaos, life is mostly back to normal. And by normal, I mean Neal has added 30 minutes each way to his commute, Blue cries every morning about not wanting to go to school and I have managed to navigate the busiest Costco I've ever seen. And we haven't even ventured into Los Angeles proper yet.

We miss Pennsylvania and we miss our friends. That's not to say we aren't finding our way out here, but it is just so so so different, in almost every way imaginable. So, while I price shop the 4 major grocery stores and 4863927 different farmer's markets and plan out our summer activities, I'm also going to get caught up on the blog. I have some posts about the move, a few about our trip out here and then I'll get started with what we've done here so far. I've miss y'all and I couldn't be happier to be back!

So...this happened the day the packers came:

A team of 6 women showed up at our door step at 8 AM on the dot and proceeded to work, y'all. They took one 15-minute break and one lunch break. They packed our entire house in one day. IN ONE DAY. That has never happened. NEEEEVVVVVEEEERRRRR. Naturally, I was a little concerned about the state of everything after being packed that quickly and then moved into storage and out of storage. But I'm here to tell you, I've unpacked the entire kitchen, both bedrooms and the living room and the only thing that busted was a plastic bin from the Dollar Tree, which was probably living on borrowed time anyway. Not a single chip in the fine china, not a crack in the crystal, every piece is just as it was in Pennsylvania and all is accounted for. If you hire a packing crew and you get these ladies,

welcome them warmly and just sit back. They totally got this. Oh...and maybe feed them lunch. They like deli sandwiches, chips, fresh fruit and chocolate chip cookies. Had I known their mad packing skills, I would have let them take the antique Cosco stool instead of hand-carrying it in our RV for 3800 miles.

But then...2 days later, the men showed up. Now, to be fair, I gave them all (including the driver) a hard time from the get-go about marking furniture as damaged when it isn't...yet...and getting stickers on everything that wasn't packed in box. The driver, an older gentleman who was probably used to dealing with high strung military spouses, took most of it in stride. He probably rolled his eyes behind my back but to my face he was courteous and patient. His crew (and one gentleman in particular), didn't care for me much and had no problem letting me know. I got so flustered that at one point during the day I muttered, "I'm doing the best I can. I got no male back-up right now", which meant that Neal was gone to California while I was getting the house packed out. Except I didn't intend for anyone to know that, especially a group of 20-something, burly, men who carried incredibly heavy furniture down a flight of stairs on their backs. No, I didn't mean to say that at all. They were going to make mincemeat of me.

So, even though I tried to be much nicer the rest of the afternoon and I tipped them all once the truck was loaded, as they headed out of the neighborhood my constant thought was, "Crap. They are going to come back in the middle of the night and murder me on my RV mattress."

So, I got Blue off the bus and hung out with the neighbors until bath time. We brushed teeth and read stories and then I double-checked every door and window in the house. But that house didn't have an alarm system so then I decided that I would have to nap until about 2 AM. Because if I was hatching a plan to murder someone for being obnoxious, I would do it at the bars downtown until closing time. And then I would head out with my buddies and a baseball bat around 1:45 AM. 

I didn't have to set an alarm. I tossed and turned and dozed until 1:50. Then I played on Pinterest and listened for any sound of intrusion...until 4:30. Because 4:30 is basically 5, which is basically morning and nothing really bad happens at 5 AM. However, as my mother always says, nothing good happens after midnight. So I napped from 5-7 AM, when Blue woke up and we started our day. Neal was coming home that night so I would actually get to sleep that evening.

Even to this day, a month later, this was a totally logical way to approach the situation, which explains a lot about what Neal has had to live with for the past 13 years. I had no escape plan for if they did decide to attack, but I guess I would have been awake for it and that was going to be enough?

Thank you, moving crew, for not hatching a plan to return and murder me. Ending up on Dateline is not how I want to go out.