There's Always a Drought in the Summer

Every time Neal leaves for an extended period of time, I always think This is going to be great! I'm going to spend every waking minute beading, blogging, and scrapbooking! I will cook fantastic meals with chocolate sauce and workout 3 times a day. I will read every single book that is threatening to topple my bookcase.

In reality, I spend a morning at the vet's office, an afternoon getting the oil changed. The washing machine quits spinning or the insurance company needs me to sign forms...in person. And I never cook anything more extravagant than spaghetti with marinara or a grilled cheese sandwich. And yet, every time I have the same thought: I am going to be soooo productive! What I'm beginning to learn about myself is that I am much more productive with Neal here. He is a machine that inspires me to answer emails, make phone calls, get things done. Without him, I hang out by the pool, watch an entire run of television shows on instant streaming Netflix, and watch the cats watch the squirrels on the patio.

Clearly, I am not productive. I was this time, however, very productive IRL. And because I love lists, especially lists that demonstrate my productivity, here's one for the last month:

*Number of houses sold: 1

(Mama Virgo is literally being held up by our sign. This was the day we unpacked 40 heavier-than-Heavy D boxes out of the attic and moved all of the furniture to storage.)

*Number of townhouses purchased: 1

(And yes, God love my husband because he just spent a fortune on an abode that he's never actually been in. We call that trust, boys and girls. Although that was trust in me, our Realtor, Mama Virgo, and biff Susie Q....not to be confused with trust just in me.)

*Number of houses that had to be completely emptied by me, Mama Virgo, and Anna Banana before the expedited closing tomorrow: 1

Now, wasn't that infinitely more fun than coming all the way down to Georgia just to float in our pool and watch airmen in flight suits at the commissary, ladies? Yeah, I thought not.

*Number of palmetto bugs sent to a watery death in our guest bathroom toilet: 6 (no pictures. It is, after all, almost lunch time)

*Number of meltdowns because of palmetto bugs in the bedroom: 1

*Number of bottles of wine drank to ease Palmetto Bug Fear at bedtime: 6

*Number of meals eaten out because cooking for 1 seemed like such a hassle: I lost track, but my skirts say "way too many".

*Number of pieces of jewelry created while Neal was gone: 1
(I've just quit checking my weekly Facebook updates that tells me how many fans/visits I have to the fan page. It's too depressing. They're dropping like flies.)

*Number of days spent laying by the pool, thinking I really needed to come home and make jewelry: 5

*Number of days I wished Neal was home: 28

Technically, today is Try a New Food Tuesday, but I felt like I needed to justify my absence before diving head-first into my commissary finds (and, I've discovered, that you need to actually go to the commissary to find food for Try a New Food Tuesday. I managed to completely avoid that for a month. Thank you, Wendy's, Arby's, Chick-Fil-A, and Chili's.)

Neal has been living on MRE's while out in the field and he brought me a couple home. Unfortunately, they are lost in the black hole where bags go when they don't arrive with your plane. So, next Tuesday will be Try a New Food Tuesday: the MRE version. I've never eaten food that was reconstituted with water. This will be an adventure. Sort of like being an astronaut, without having to wear a onesie or drink Tang.

I appreciate all of your emails over the past few weeks, checking on my progress or just my continued existence on earth. It has been such a wild ride, but (and I say this with some reservation), I think it will actually slow down some now. Maybe I'll make something with chocolate sauce tonight....