Friday, September 11, 2009

Not just another day

Remember that line in When Harry Met Sally when Harry is comparing bad dates with his friend, Jess, and he is recalling going on a date with a woman who, when he said "where were you when Kennedy was shot?" she replied with "Ted Kennedy was shot?"? That's how I feel about today. I know that I will be talking to someone in the future who was born in 2002 or after. And they will have no understanding of the true impact of 9/11/2001. My own children will not really get it, even though I scrapbooked the entire thing because I couldn't bring myself to do anything else for almost a week. And they will not say to me, "Mommy, where were you on 9/11?" because I had never thought to ask my own mother where she was when Kennedy was shot until just recently. My children will probably not understand for a long time that if 9/11 had not happened, I would probably not have returned from living in Arizona and I would have never met their father. Everything is intertwined. Everything.

So, as I look out on the this beautiful blue September sky, much as it was in NYC 8 years ago, much as it was when I got out of bed in Flagstaff, Arizona 8 years ago, I remember that sometimes things happen that really do profoundly change our lives and events can become so buried in our bones that a smell, a picture, a blue sky can take us back to that very day in just one instant. When I look at the pictures of the towers tumbling, of smoke pouring from the Pentagon and the cratered wreckage in Pennsylvania, I feel tired and heartbroken and completely isolated because that is what I felt that day. 2000 miles from home and working in a bar to make ends meet - I sat at the bar that night and drank tequila shots and watched CNN until the image of a sky raining people was burned into my retinas. Then I went home and thought "we will never be the same."

I wait in eager anticipation of a 9/11 memorial that will truly reflect the horrors of that day. But with everything, it is slow to come. A friend said to me last night, "you cannot fight emotion with logic" and isn't that the truth?? Emotionally charged family members of 9/11 victims fight with architects and engineers, masters of logic, and very little has changed. But someday....
During a week of partisan outbursts, complaints, finger-pointing and uncivil behavior, suddenly today we all feel like one again. And that feels really, really good.

No comments:

Post a Comment

That's it, let it all out....