The Year of Living More With Less: a SoCal Update

Sometimes I feel like the universe hears my warrior cries of promised self-improvement and says, "Oh yeah? Hold my beer."

Southern California is making it really hard to adhere to The Year of Living More With Less.

Mostly because everything out here is all about more. More things to do, more foods to try, more blogs on Pinterest dedicated to L.A. photo op bucket lists, more hidden spots to check out, more exotic places to be seen. And it has been really hard to ignore all of that. In the first month we were here, we visited the Hollywood sign (twice), went to 3 beaches in Laguna, visited the Channel Islands, attended a red carpet premiere, ate our way through Hollywood (including one cupcake from an ATM) and bought a bracelet from the wardrobe department at Days of Our Lives. And really, that is only the beginning. To be fair, we've been entertaining company for a lot of that, but some if it was just us wanting to do all. the. things. And that doesn't even include the Blue Star Museums that are free to us until Labor Day: The Velveteria (yes, it is an entire museum devoted to velvet paintings), the Western Museum of Flight, the Automobile Museum (which features life-size Hot Wheels cars on display a few times throughout the year).

Don't even get me started on the grocery stores. Do I go to Albertson's, Von's, Sprout's, Ralph's, Whole Foods or the butcher across the street? It's not a question of which one is closest. They are all 2 miles from each other. There is a farmer's market every day of the week and one farm down in Irvine that delivers fresh produce to the area once a week.

In fact, the only thing I have to drive any great distance for is a church, which sort of seems fitting. It's in Downey, about 45 minutes from here. It's not that there aren't churches here. There are. There are Baptist churches on the beach and Buddhist temples in downtown L.A. But to find the Moravians (which have merged with the Episcopalians) we have to drive.

There are more people (the only people I've seen more than once are the families in our neighborhood), more cars, more options for things to do, places to go and things to see than we've ever had. Ever.

Right smack dab in the middle of The Year of Living More With Less.

What's that sound? Oh it's the universe laughing its ass off. Well-played.

But what's the point of doing a challenge if you aren't...challenged? So, here we are: having the Come to Jesus that I never saw coming but desperately need. Where is the less in all of this?

I went back to Seventh Generation clothing and dishwasher detergent because the water here is so frickin hard. The thrift stores are hard to resist, not because something may have been worn by Catherine Zeta-Jones but because it's the only stuff that's reasonably priced. And how do I say "no" to an entire museum filled with velvet paintings? I just spent an hour spray painting Cadillacs in the desert not 2 months ago; you know resistance is futile.

So, now I have some soul searching to do. I have to get my book and my highlighter back out and start all over again. Not from the quiet, uncomplicated fields of the Keystone state, but from a place where the sun always shines and the bucket list overflows. I could absolutely keep going at this pace, but should I? Is it healthy? Does it allow for time to reflect? Is it shortening my attention span? Is it feeding my need for more? What does it teach our son?

I know that when Blue starts back to school in a few weeks some things will change. I will be hindered by a drop-off/pick-up schedule. You can't spend the entire day hiking Runyon Canyon and expect to be back by the end of school. And I will start my volunteer work with the International Bird Rescue, as well as in Blue's school. Plus I'll be back at my desk creating jewelry. So, all of that will keep me from running the roads. Maybe this is how summer is supposed to be. Mach 10 on the 405 with the wind in our hair and gelato smeared on our faces. Or maybe I'm making excuses because the idea of leaving here without checking everything off the list is what keeps me up at night.

But there will always be one more thing. One more live taping to see. One more taco truck to try. One more pop-up boutique. One more graffiti art walk. One more photo to take. One more distraction from the goal at hand. I can live more with less. I can do this. I can.

The Year of Living More With Less: Worldly Possessions

I decided it was high time for a TYLMWL update. Also, ironically, I can't post a trip review of our boat tour along the Channel Islands yesterday because I'm still sorting through 855 pictures. And that doesn't count the ones on my phone. Clearly, I have some work to do in that department before we ring in 2019.

But I can talk about what it was like to complete the Konmari Challenge in PA and what it has been like to unpack what remained in CA.

First of all, if the moving company's weight coming from Kansas to Pennsylvania was correct (and who really knows because our moving company was so shady), then I sold/donated 13,000 pounds of stuff. As the garbage bags of donations started flying out the door right after Ash Wednesday, I would say it certainly felt like 13,000 pounds, even in the first week. But as the days turned to weeks, progress slowed and eventually ground to a halt while I searched for housing options in CA. With the exception of Neal's belongings, I did eventually finish holding every item we own in my hands and asking myself if it sparked joy. I didn't do Neal's things because I'm not Neal and only he knows if they spark joy or not. And he's not one to ask that question as he is more focused on whether it serves a purpose.

Which is why we have not 1, not 2, not 3, but FOUR containers of cords. My husband is a cord hoarder and he makes no apologies for it. However, I must admit that there has never been a time when I needed a cord and he didn't have it.

Although I was still finishing Konmari'ing the house as I pre-bagged items, I did finish and I learned some things about myself:

1. I have an art/photo/frame addiction. The more hyperlocal the art is to a place where we've been stationed, the better chance I have of owning it. It took 23 boxes to pack all of my art, canvas prints, framed photos and posters. That's a little bit embarrassing because we will never have enough walls to display everything I kept. But sometimes we have more wall space than other times so I'm going to keep it because it all sparked joy.

2. I seem to have a bit of a "soft gray t-shirt with some kind of design" addiction. They fade, they pill, they are all a bit too big...but I keep buying them. Gray tshirt and black yoga pants - that's my uniform these days.

 3. If the small kitchen appliances ever decide to gang up and wage war on us, we don't have a fighting chance. Because...there are a lot of them. We can: make sushi, make cheese, make beer, pop popcorn, make paninis, dehydrate stuff, grind coffee, make margaritas, slow cook things, slice, dice, peel an apple, make ice cream, juice a beet and make soup. And that's just what I can see from the couch. The problem is, I love that I can decide at 2 PM on a Tuesday afternoon that we are going to make beef jerky that day or spend an hour making ice cream on a Thursday night. So, they all have to find a place to live because they are all staying. I just hope they don't decide to unionize.

 4. Books and throw pillows. I don't think I need to say anything more because I believe most of you know and are nodding your heads in absolute agreement.


So, I know that I had an amazing crew of packers, but I also think the reason they were able to get it done in one day has something to do with my efforts to declutter and organize the house. Here's what no one has said yet, though. When you move as often as we do and you complete the Konmari Method, now everything that sparks joy is on that moving truck. For the last 5 moves, if something sparked joy and I would be devastated to lose it, I hand carried it in the car/truck/RV to the next duty station. But now I would have to hand carry everything. That resulted in a lot more anxiety around the packing and moving process than I had anticipated. When I voiced my concerns to some fellow Army wives, although they were understanding and appreciated the dilemma, they also answered with, "it's just stuff and it's all replaceable. And what's irreplaceable, you hand carry." And I did. I had 6 plastic bins full of Blue's original art, gifts from faraway places and handwritten letters/cards from war. But what can't be ignored is the fact that everything that went on the truck was still stuff I held in my hands and felt joy. It is just stuff but it's joyful stuff. And I had a hard time letting it go with someone else. Even the ice cream maker and the lap desk and the IKEA throw pillows. I struggled with all of it and tried not to think about it getting lost or destroyed along the way.

I think that's what needs to be said about what happens when a military spouse uses the Konmari Method. Every few years, some people who just want to get a job done and get paid will come into your house and throw everything that sparks joy into boxes and then attempt to move it some distance. And that will be stressful because now it's not just stuff.

It also needs to be said that even though Marie Kondo says you will only need to go through this process once, I disagree. Tastes change (I joyfully sold my heavy-as-lead Pier One drinking glasses at the yard sale because they were gorgeous to me in 2006 but cumbersome and outdated in 2018) and kids grow out of things. They grow out of sippy cups and Thomas the Train and blue jeans. We mature and evolve so just as our taste buds change every 7 years, I think that's a reasonable time frame for another pass through the worldly possessions.

I also decided to do a home inventory for this move, meaning that I grouped like items together (as many as I could squeeze into a photo) and documented their existence and condition before the move. This took longer than I thought originally but went quickly once I established a process. Although it didn't help with knowing what was in each box, if a box (or like PA, multiple boxes) went missing, I could deduce what had been lost. Every single item made it on this move. I wish I had done this before the PA crew lost half of my grandmother's fine china.

As for unpacking (and perhaps it was the care and attention paid during packing), it went remarkably smoothly. Boxes were mostly labeled and, once the furniture was in place, I could unpack and put away one room per day. We have been here for 20 days and every box is unpacked. The house is set up with pictures on the walls and floors cleared of packing material - which is unprecedented considering we didn't have Mom and Anna (a dynamite duo with a work ethic that we vastly underestimated) to help this time. And, most importantly, I have one paper bag, which is half-full, of items that I decided to get rid of after unpacking the house. That has never happened. I usually have another large purge after the house is unpacked. This one paper bag tells me that the Konmari Method was especially effective.

So, I can only say good things about taking the time to look at what you own, ask yourself why you own it and if it is something you love/sparks joy/can't live without. Although the question may be different for you, whatever it is, ask it and decide whether your worldly possessions are lifting you up or dragging you down. Because we can't take them with us when we die and most likely, our kids will drop it all off at Goodwill on the way out of town. Love it or leave it behind.

The Year of Living More With Less: How to Rock Your Yard Sale

Although The Year of Living More With Less is supposed to be all-inclusive; less stuff, less stress, less waste, less negativity, less fat, etc., it has become more focused on the material things we lug around with us from duty station to duty station. That sort of happened last year, too. The Year of Living Better evolved into a quest to cut chemicals from our home and replace them with non-toxic cleaners and essential oils. I never really know how these things will play out when I start in January.

In March, Neal and I decided to have a yard sale before we moved. That's not to say that we have more stuff this time, but that I had more time and energy to prepare for a yard sale this go round. I've said it before, I will say it again: Yay, Kindergarten! Children are amazing creatures but their propensity for keeping every little bread tie and broken toy does not create an environment that is conducive to selling all of your worldly possessions. Ultimately, we told Blue that he would get the money from everything he sold and that's when he finally starting unloading the goods. Unfortunately, he's 5 and has no idea that we only gave him about 1/500th of his actual profit. But he has yet to hold down a job so he's basically still freeloading from us. I think it all evens out in the end.

I made a pretty good chunk of change at my little yard sale last weekend. More than I thought, considering most items were priced at $1.00 or below. I think that directly correlates to how much joyless stuff we had. I had never held a yard sale before so I read about 10 blog posts on Pinterest about how to have really successful yard sales. And then I began. It took about 4 full days of sorting, pricing, arranging and rearranging but Neal and I agreed that it was worth the effort. So, I'm going to share with you what I did. In the Army they call this an AAR - After Action Review. It's not good, it's not bad...it's just what went right, what could be improved upon and what you'll do differently next time. AAR sounds a little too much like AARP so I'm going to call mine

THE YARD SALE RUNDOWN - HOW TO ROCK YOUR YARD SALE

1. Let it Go
Look, Elsa, you can't be clinging to that bread maker with your icy grip unless you are actually going to make some bread. And if you aren't going to make some bread, come to terms with the fact that you are someone who wants to make some pumpkin spice bread in a loaf pan in October and buy the sliced stuff at Weis the rest of the year. You can't have any attachment to what you're selling or it's going to affect your entire yard sale. I would refrain from advertising your yard sale with signs that say "come put my junk in your trunk" but that's pretty much how you have to feel about it. If you aren't sure how to do this, read this piece I wrote about sparking joy. No joy = detachment and you're ready to let it go (thanking it for the role it played in your life is optional).

Everything we let go. I no longer feel frozen in stuff. Sorry...I'm done now. I love warm hugs. 

2. The Price is Right 
To be honest, the necessary step of pricing my stuff has kept me from having a yard sale for a long time. It seemed like an impossible task. I have an incredible memory for prices. I know what I paid for my Chi flat iron and the scarf I bought at the airport in Rome and the Edward Hopper print I found at a yard sale. You can't get caught up in what you paid for something. Being detached is especially important in this step because most people suggest pricing yard sale items at 10% of what you paid. Not 10% off of what you paid. 10% OF WHAT YOU PAID. So that entertainment center we paid $2500 for? It absolutely sold for $250. And the bicycle helmet that Blue had to have? The one with Lightning McQueen? We paid $10. It sold for $1. This kind of pricing is key to a successful yard sale because people cannot freaking resist getting something for $1. The founders of The Dollar Tree have known this for years. And if folks can get something for 25 or 50 cents? All the better. They don't need it, but it only costs a quarter. They'll find something to do with it. What they do with it isn't your concern because you're detached, remember? What matters is that you now have their 2 quarters to rub together. And trust me, those quarters and dollar bills add up. Just ask an exotic dancer. You are going to make it rain.

If you are pricing something that was a gift or you can't remember how much you paid for it, ask yourself, If I was at this yard sale, what would I be willing to pay for it? You might be surprised at how quickly you will drop the price from what you think it should be to what you would actually pay. And know that the item's condition will affect how much someone will pay. If it's damaged or broken, 5% of your original cost may be more realistic.

3. Did I Mention Detachment? 
I only come back to this because it's really that important. Let me give you an example. On my 3rd engagement (the one where my ex-fiance couldn't decide if he wanted to marry me but let it get so far down the road that I actually had a bridal shower), I was given a set of beautiful wooden salad bowls. I wanted them, I registered for them. And on that glorious day in August, I got them. But when I moved out of his house, I took the bowls with me. Because, at the time, I didn't have much and they were necessary if I didn't want to sip tomato soup out of my hand. But Neal and I have been married for almost 12 years now and I had only used them once and that was probably 11 years ago. They've been moved all over this country but never made it out of the box. So, I decided to sell them. I broke my 10% rule because I wasn't 100% detached. I priced them at $5. They were beautiful but they weren't $50 to begin with. They sat on the shelf for 3 hours when I finally decided that I was being ridiculous...and worse, attached. I knocked it down to $2. They sold 5 minutes later. At the end of the day, I could have $2 or some bad juju salad bowls in my hand. I think I did the right thing.

4. When the Stickers Don't Stick
One of the best pieces of advice that I gleaned from those bloggers about their own yard sales was how to attach the price to the item. In this Age of Amazon there are about 3374 ways to affix a price sticker to your worldly possessions. All you really need is a roll of masking tape and a Sharpie. Seriously. Those little brightly colored dots will fall off. And they are small which means if your average shopper is like my husband, who forgets his reading glasses half the time, they won't be able to read the price. And if they can't read the price, they aren't going to buy. Masking tape is sticky, durable and doesn't have to be torn with your teeth. Plus, it's comparatively cheap. Make your price big and legible and watch the items fly off the shelves.

5. Everything Gets a Price
The other super helpful piece of information I got from Pinterest was that I needed to price everything. Yes, Vern, I know what you mean....that is a giant pain in the ass. But...necessary. You will have some shoppers who don't mind to ask you what stuff costs but most people will not, especially if you are busy helping other shoppers. Again, if I was at a yard sale where nothing was priced, I wouldn't stick around. It's too much work. And the burden of the work is on the person making the money, not the person spending the money.

6. Groupies
Pricing every single stupid little thing gets tedious. I had these jars from Michael's that were like $1 each. I bought them at Christmas because I was going to make sugar scrubs for each jar and give them as gifts. That was 4 years ago. They've moved twice. They had dust on the inside of the jars. So I put them all in a gallon bag and priced it at 50 cents. They sold by 9 AM. Group it, put it in a bag or wrap masking tape around it a couple of times and call it done. The same is true for books, DVDs, jewelry, shoes, or any like item. I bought an entire set of Jewish children's paperback books at a consignment sale last month just because I wanted the one about gefilte fish.

Drill Sargent Blue keeps the groupies in line.

7. Tables Need Not Apply
We don't have many tables. Make that any. We don't have any tables besides our dining room table. So, having a yard sale where everything was laid out on tables wasn't going to happen. But what we do have is a lot of shelving. It's the kind they sell at Lowe's that you put in your garage to organize your Christmas decorations. We have a ton of that stuff. So, instead of laying it all out on tables, I just laid it out on the shelves. We secured broom handles to the shelving with zip ties and used that to hang clothes. The point is: use what you have. I even used plastic bins and cardboard boxes to display books and DVDs. It helps if stuff isn't stacked on top of each other and if it's a bit cluttered to begin, as soon as people start buying, take a moment to spread it out as the space opens up. But you don't need to rent or buy a bunch of tables to make a yard sale work. Even a door laid across 2 saw horses makes a flat space that is perfect for a yard sale.

Who needs tables? Bust out the shelves!

8. Hang It Up
Clothes sell better when they are hung up. It's easier to slide a hanger across a broom handle than it is to bend over and search through sizes. I understand that unless you are a Lularoe consultant, you probably don't have a clothing rack laying around, but improvise. Find something that will support the clothes you want to sell and make it work. I tossed clothes with stains and holes in the "free" box - but they were still there at the end of the day...meaning that people don't want that stuff, even when it's free. I also used hangers with clips to pair pajama bottoms with tops and any matching sets. You could separate your clothes by size but I only had Blue's 5T stuff and my size 16 stuff so there wasn't anything to separate.

Prices posted above each group of clothes keep me from having to price every single piece.

9. Make Some Change
I have heard horror stories about someone walking up to a yard sale first thing in the morning and handing the person a $20 for a 25 cent item. I decided that if I prepared for that scenario, everything else would be easy. So I made change for $100. I got $60 in $5s, $30 in $1s and $10 in quarters. I also gathered up the spare dimes and nickels we had in the cars and around the house. This was plenty of change for the entire day.

10. Think Like Target
I arranged my yard sale like a department store. Kitchen items were grouped together, as were toys, clothes, household items, books, rugs and jewelry. I also kept clothing hanging in the garage so the hot sun wouldn't fade them. (Side note: pray for hot sun on your yard sale day. It was rainy and 40 degrees the day after my yard sale. I'm pretty sure that would have affected the bottom line.) 

11. Stock Your Station
I used a patio table and chair as a cashier station. As a frequent yard sale shopper myself, it feels awkward if the person is pacing as you're shopping. I played a little 70's music on my phone, answered questions as needed and hung out in my chair until someone was ready to pay. I also had a notepad, pen, calculator, a ton of plastic bags from the grocery and Target (that I've been saving up for months because I'm generally a resuable bag kind of girl but I knew this day was coming), a little bubble wrap for fragile items, a measuring tape, extra masking tape and a Sharpie and extension cords for testing electronics. I made sure all battery-operated toys were functioning before the sale started.

12. Advertise on Social Media
This works really well if you have lived in an area for a really long time and know half the county. But even being here for just under 2 years, I still pre-sold a lot of big pieces just by posting a photo of my garage on Facebook. You can also post to a local buy/sell/trade page to get more interest.

13. Speaking of Pre-Sales
Get in good with the neighbors by offering a preview night to your neighborhood. I posted to our neighborhood Facebook page that I was opening the door to neighbors on Friday afternoon from 4:30-6:30. And then we went out to dinner with some folks who stopped by! They appreciated the early shopping and I was able to make a little space for the next day. As Blue says, it's a win-win! 

14. Adjust 
My yard sale lasted 6 hours but by the second hour I could see what was working and what wasn't. I was selling a pup tent and a rooftop carrier but they were both in their carrying bags. People weren't unzipping the bags to look. So, I pulled them out and laid them on the grass. I also had a lot of shoppers checking out the La-Z-Boy chair. They were sitting on it, reclining in it, enjoying it immensely. But not paying the $25.00 I priced it at. So, I dropped it to $15. Watch your shoppers to see what they are picking up, what's getting ignored and what needs to be more visible. If something isn't selling, move it or drop the price slightly. It doesn't hurt to try something different.

A well-loved but still fully functional water table gets dropped to $1.

15. Signs, Signs, Everywhere are Signs
So, this was my biggest mistake. I didn't put up enough signs. Mainly I was concerned about annoying my neighbors with my fluorescent posterboard all over the neighborhood, but I needed 2 and maybe 3 more signs to help guide shoppers to the house. I made very clear, concise signs that simply read:
YARD SALE
SAT 4/14   7 AM - 1 PM
MY ADDRESS (which was my actual address but this being the internet and all..)
I taped them with packing tape to some wooden stakes I found in the yard sale aisle at Walmart. Walmart sells fancy "yard sale signs" for $4.50 per sign. You don't need that. And I was concerned that putting them up on Friday morning wasn't enough of a heads up, but it was going to rain so I waited. As it turns out, yard sale shoppers really don't need more than 24 hours notice, but they do need some trail markers. I just assumed that everyone out there is using Google Maps or Waze to get around in this world. Don't assume that because it's not true. I was told multiple times on Saturday that people were driving around looking for our house and that they almost gave up when they finally found it. So, I'm sure some did give up. Don't make this mistake. Put enough signs up so that someone can find your house, even without a smart phone.

16. Sticky Fingers
I've been told by my neighbors, who are veterans of the annual neighborhood yard sale that much of the city looks forward to every spring, that some shoppers have sticky fingers. And that things will get stolen. The worst case scenario is your change box (I used a waitress bib from when I was Sookie Stackhouse for Halloween a few years ago), but it isn't uncommon for other, less valuable items to disappear. I only noticed that some of the jewelry was gone, but considering it was 25 cents per piece, if you are stealing the jewelry from my yard sale, you have bigger problems than I do and probably need Jesus. Peace be with you.

17. Send 'Em Away With Something Free
On the advice of several bloggers, I had a free box. This was mostly filled with happy meal toys, Dollar Tree party decor, a box of oven bags that I don't remember buying and some of Blue's pants that had holes in the knees. My Mennonite shoppers grabbed these right up as they know their way around a needle and a thread. It gave the kids something to look through while their parents shopped and several people found something free first but then shopped until they found something to buy.

This bin was still half full at the end of the day, proving that sometimes folks don't even want your free stuff.

18. The Extras That I Skipped
There are people who say you should have snacks on hand or bottled water, or even treats for sale. They also suggest that kids set up a lemonade stand. First of all, unless they are super helpful or entertained by a device, kids underfoot while you are trying to tally and make change is extremely distracting. I lent my husband to the neighbors so they had help hauling off a fence and in exchange, their kids watched Blue. It was a lovely arrangement. Also, while I do feed the people who come to pack our house, I don't feel it is necessary to feed the people who are coming to pay a quarter for a scarf. So, sorry...you will not find rice krispie treats or lemonade at our yard sale. But Sheetz is right down the street and they make a killer cappuccino.

Before...

 After...

Not pictured is the giant entertainment center and 2 matching end tables or the washer & dryer we sold.

There are a lot of great blog posts out there about how to host a successful yard sale (sometimes I feel deep pity for our parents who never had Pinterest to turn to) but this lady is pretty great. And she's way more succinct than I am. Someday I'm going to get paid per word and then I'm going to make it rain.

The Year of Living More With Less: Catching Fire

A couple of months ago, I mentioned that I was going to try the Konmari Method of sorting and "tidying" the house. Now, here's my disclaimer: I did not read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. No...I read about 6 blog posts by people who did read the book. I got the gist and ran with it. Essentially you:
1. Print the list of categories that she provides in the book.

*This has been shared so many times on Pinterest, I can't find the original pinner or know who to credit.

2. Start with clothes (and according to this list, tops, specifically). Gather all of your tops. This is a little more complicated than it sounds. It involves doing the laundry first so that the tops (and really all of your clothes) are clean and ready to be sorted. The Konmari Method suggests gathering all of one category - whether it's books that are in every room of the house or laundry that is clean/dirty/laying on the floor of various closets. Bring all of one category together before starting and it really does help, although admittedly, it is a giant pain in the butt. Resist the urge to just start going room by room instead of gathering all of one category. Seeing ALL of your books in a pile instead of all of the books from one room will really help give you a sense of how many you have and which ones truly spark joy...which brings me to #3.

3. Sparking joy. So, even though I grew up with a psychologist mom, I still found the idea of holding something in my hands and asking myself if it sparked joy to be a pretty big pile of quackery. There is no way that makes any difference in whether I decide to keep or toss something. Except, IT TOTALLY DID. How do I know? I make a major purge before and after every move. This will be our 6th move in 8 years. That's a LOT of purging - more than most non-active duty households, I would presume. And there are items that I've carried with me since our first move and some things I've moved since high school. That is something like 23 moves. Like this...

A bin of journals that I wrote in between 1990 and 2000. There are no profound words of wisdom in there. They do not contain the next great American novel. They are filled with teenage/college angst and over-analyzed conversations with boys (this was mostly before He's Just Not That Into You was written...what a blessing that book would have been to my teenage self). I only had to hold one journal while asking myself if it sparked joy to know that they decidedly did not. In fact, it sparked anxiety and sadness. I tossed every single one of them in the trash.

I can't explain why the question Does this spark joy? works. It just does. It shouldn't be any different than looking at something and wondering if you like it enough to keep it. But asking yourself if something sparks joy overrides the 2 reasons I've kept a lot of stuff: I paid money (sometimes a lot) for it and someone gave it to me. Spending money on an item or the idea that someone else spent money on it has been the deciding factor for keeping a lot of what I've lugged around since I was 17. But when I hold it in my hands and ask the question, I know immediately; yes this sparks joy, or no it doesn't. It doesn't have anything to do with whether I *like* an item. DOES IT SPARK JOY? It has to be that question. (And it helps if you are doing this in silence, although I've had to keep working, even on snow days and weekends, so if there's some 5-year old chatter in the background, it is still possible to hear your own answer.)

Now, I've been mocked somewhat ruthlessly for adhering to this aspect of the method. And that's probably fair because I've ruthlessly mocked others for the same thing. But if you are serious about scaling down, whether you want to live in a tiny house or just clear physical space so that the mental space can be cleared as well, this step is imperative.

My first category, per the list, was my tops and it looked something like this:

Step 1: Gather all the tops in one place. 

Step 2: Hold each one and ask yourself if it sparks joy. Here are some things I learned regarding my tops:

1. I have a shirt from one of the last times I saw my friend, Traci, during a Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk. It says "Traci's Pink Brigade". When I hold it, I don't think of the fun we had at that event; I think of saying goodbye to her as she passed and how deeply I feel her absence from my life. I never wear this shirt because it just makes me too sad. And Traci would be pissed if she knew I was keeping something that made me so heartbroken that I couldn't even bring myself to wear it. Worse, I had shoved it to the back of the drawer because I couldn't even bear to look at it. So, I donated that shirt. And I didn't feel bad about donating it because then I made a little album of photos I took of us, from the time we met until the Oztoberfest in Kansas. And that album sparks so much joy that I actually feel her sitting next to me as I flip through it. I still miss her, but I feel so blessed to have those memories with an amazing woman of God.

2. I own one black shirt, which I bought in Kentucky on one of my trips home. It says something about Kentucky girls and bourbon, but I never wear it because the neck is tight and it's black and black makes me look like I've been rode hard and put up wet. So, even though it appears in this "sorted" picture, it didn't make the final final cut. And now I don't buy black t-shirts...not even the school carnival one last week - even though the money was going to a good cause. I would rather just give them the money.

3. Even I was a little surprised by which shirts sparked joy and which ones did not. I haven't been able to participate in a Wings for our Troops event for quite some time, but I still love wearing the American flag angel wings and thinking of everything my friend, Tami, is doing to help Servicemembers see family members before and after a deployment. But I have to reiterate, holding a shirt and asking myself if it sparked joy resulted in an immediate and strong reaction: either it did or it didn't. It was really that easy. Whether I had gotten my money's worth out of a shirt or whether I would offend someone by getting rid of it really didn't factor into my decision at all...and that's how you declutter a house.

And that left me with this:

Except that's only 1/2 the pile. In that stack are not only clothes that are worn out, but also sweaters that I've only worn once and a few that still have the tags on them. Getting dressed in the morning is so much easier now that my eyes don't have to block out the clothes I don't love. And I have worn more clothes that I love but had forgotten about because they were pushed to the back of the drawer. (Like my "Not everything that starts in Missouri ends in dysentery" t-shirt. If you get that reference, we can absolutely be friends.)

The next step is to decide what to do about the discard pile. In general, if I bought it at Goodwill, back it goes. If it still has the tags or is in excellent condition, it goes to the yard sale (which I am DREADING but is, I suppose, a fact of life if you ever want to get any money back). Some things were so far past their prime that they just went into the trash. It would be an incredibly thrifty thing for me to cut them up and make them into rags but I have actual rags for that. At this point, the KonMari Method says I should thank each item for the role it played in my life.

Yeah. I didn't do that. I barely thank my husband. I'm certainly not thanking a Mossimo v-neck.

Lastly, #4...putting away what's left. The KonMari Method suggests a certain folding method that involves standing up your clothes so you can see them better. I found that I actually prefer rolling them, which is still a change from my previous practice of folding everything. Rolling my shirts, especially my t-shirts, allows me to see them quickly, side-by-side, and choose the one I'm most in the mood to wear.

Although I didn't photograph the entire process, so far I've completed the list up to "office supplies". I even took a week and went through my crafting supplies. I'm serious. It took a week. Scrapbook paper, stamps, pens, embossing powder, beads, Cricut cartridges...I almost gave up. But I kept what sparked joy and donated the rest to a local crafting store. That alone probably makes this move 50 pounds lighter. I also found some lost gems...

Proof that I was a University of Louisville Cardinal before I was a University of Kentucky Wildcat. I vaguely remember making this ID but I can't remember why, except possibly because we were bored and looking for some way to entertain ourselves that didn't involve illegal drugs or pulling a fire alarm.

And...

My Muscular System Manual from massage school, complete with tabs for easy access. A lot of our tests in massage school were open-book, but also timed, hence the tabs. I removed the tabs and kept the book because a lot of things in this world change constantly, but the skeletal system does not.

I'm still working through the rest of the list and I'll show the complete pile of stuff that we are getting rid of when I'm done. I have less than 3 weeks. I should probably get back to work.



 

The Year of Living More With Less: Winter Becomes Me

When spring finally sprung in PA last year, Neal and I looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief. Well, that wasn't so bad. But many a native Pennsylvanian was quick to point out that the winter of 2017 was mild...a little too mild. So, when double-lined ski pants, 32 Degree Heat silks and touch-sensitive gloves went on sale at Costco last October, I stocked up. They also sold this quilted coat with a fur hood that is, without a doubt, the warmest piece of outwear I've ever had on my body. The CC brand beanies are, it would seem, everywhere this year, but with good reason. Maybe it's the knitted style or just the simple fact that the noggin is now covered, but it has made a big difference in how warm I stay. I also picked up a knitted wool/fleece neck wrap from TJ Maxx and finished off my winter shopping with some $5 snow bibs for Blue at one of the fall consignment sales. We were ready for the arctic winds to blow. 

I've been mocked ruthlessly (mostly by Neal) for my layering technique, but it has allowed me to enjoy...

Christmas caroling in the town square in Lititz (I know...how very Christmas Hallmark movie of us!)

taking in the Christmas windows in NYC 

watching the groundhog emerge at sunrise on Gobbler's Knob (which has a weather all its own. 24 degrees and 20 mph winds. If there's ever a cold day in Hell, I'm sure that is what it will feel like.)

riding to the top of Pittsburgh on the Duquesne Incline at the beginning of February

having a cup of coffee at the world's largest coffee pot 

watching the snow geese migration at sunrise 

and visiting the Philly Zoo before the most recent snow had a chance to melt. 

Occasionally, I've been overdressed, as was the case last month when I layered up to make a snowman after the storm. Except it was 42 degrees and even in just my ski pants and hoodie I was still sweating. 

(This is Edna. She arrived on Sunday, lost her hat on Monday morning, her celery ears on Monday afternoon and was just a wet spot by Monday night.)

Alfred Wainwright, a British author and illustrator of nature guides, is credited as saying, "There's no such thing as bad weather, only unsuitable clothing." I have taken this quote to heart over the past 4 months. And it has allowed me to balk at the wind, snow and ice. Although it continues to try, even at this moment, Old Man Winter can't keep me from enjoying all that Pennsylvania has to offer. It has been brutal and we are all anxiously awaiting warmer weather, but until then, all we have to do is dress for it. More year-round outdoor adventures, less cabin fever.

 

The Year of Living More With Less: You, Me and the TV

I made a lot of plans for Blue when I was pregnant. We were going to listen to Beethoven everyday. He would only eat organic baby food that I made. And he would not watch any TV until he was at least two. We did not listen to Beethoven everyday. We listened to a lot of Sesame Street and 90's country. I did make his baby food but it certainly wasn't all organic. I did my best but Petersburg, Virginia is not the fresh food oasis that Kansas and Pennsylvania have been. And we did make it until he was 2 before watching TV, although it was days old and not years old. So to my friend, Shana, who rolled her eyes at me when I revealed my baby goals to her, you totally called it.

Blue was fairly mesmerized by the TV at a young age (and by young, I mean his head was propped up in his swing because he wasn't holding it up on his own yet). We watched Baby Genius videos and quite a bit of Daniel Tiger. We watched some Caillou until my ears began to bleed one day and I determined it was the direct result of that kid's voice. Blue was plenty whiny. He didn't need an onscreen personality to further encourage him. But over the years, a lot of PBS Kids shows have served as background noise to our day-to-day lives. His obsessions yo-yo, from Wild Kratts to Sid the Science Kid to Odd Squad. And thanks to on demand, he can watch any episode any time. Neal and I tried to explain to him about what it was like to watch TV when we were growing up. It must have sounded something like I walked five miles uphill, both ways, in 6' feet of snow just to go to school. "Well, son, we could only watch whatever show was on at the time and we only had one TV so we had to agree on what to watch. And we only got to watch cartoons on Saturday mornings." I think we lost him there.

The truth is, distractions of all kinds are available these days. And they aren't the devil. Shows like Wild Kratts taught me, Neal and my mom what a narwhal is. Sid the Science Kid explained water vapor in a way I never could. Daniel Tiger wins the prize for most songs about being nice. (And when a disabled child was in his class this year, Blue simply commented that he had crutches, like Daniel Tiger's cousin, Chrissy.) The iPad has let us watch elephants in the San Diego Zoo and track Santa on Christmas Eve. It has kept him busy during cross-country moves with math games and songs about stinky feet. And it has helped me keep my sanity while in Target because that place is just as magical to a 5 year old as it is to a 40 year old. "No you may not have all those Ninjago LEGO sets. Do you want to watch Word World on my phone?"

I, someone who has never found enjoyment in mindless TV and would be just as happy to sell the TV if it weren't for UK basketball games and Masterpiece Theatre, has certainly set a precedent for watching TV. I've used it as a distraction when I needed to take a shower or wanted 25 minutes of peace and quiet. I've used it as reward for everything from cleaning up the play room to potty training. And we still have movie night every Friday, which means we all fall asleep under the glow of some Disney movie that we've probably already seen at least 3 times. But perhaps most detrimental to our health, is my love of watching TV while eating. It only took one time for Blue to fall in love with this habit, too. So, when he started refusing to eat unless he was watching TV, I knew it was time to make a change.

I searched Pinterest (which is a rabbit hole of parenting techniques) for some way to modify his behavior. I came across the "technology tickets" idea.

There are a slew of mommy bloggers who have put this into practice and were willing to share experiences and free printables. As I read through them, I decided on the rules that made the most sense for us:

1. Every Friday morning (because I finally sat down and printed this all out one Thursday afternoon), Blue receives 14 technology tickets, worth 30 minutes each. They apply to all screens but, honestly, he is on the iPad so infrequently that often when he finally thinks about it, the battery is long-dead. (However, last week he discovered the joy of competition with Mario Kart on the Wii, so that now counts, too.) Anyway, if doled out appropriately, this is one hour of TV per day, which is perfectly acceptable according to most early childhood educators...and about 1/8 the amount of TV that we have been watching. So, there's a fair amount of detoxing involved.

2. To watch TV or play the Wii, he must pull a ticket from the "unwatched" jar and place it in the "watched" jar. Then one of us starts a timer on Alexa (except her name is Echo because I started feeling a little uncomfortable about Blue barking orders at a woman all the time and never saying please or thank you. Although I'm told Alexa doesn't mind. But Mama does.).

3. To watch more TV or play a game after the timer goes off, he must pull another ticket and start another timer. When he is out of tickets, he must earn more.

4. Blue can earn one ticket by doing 30 minutes of reading, writing, math, arts & crafts or helping me around the house. He can also earn tickets by being extra helpful, kind and patient. Or by doing something the first time we ask (like getting in the bath - which, according to him, is his kryptonite or cleaning up his toys - his playroom is literally adjacent to the kitchen. How hard is it?). For the record, in three weeks of doing this, he has never once earned a ticket for doing something the first time we asked.

5. He can lose tickets by being sassy, disrespectful, argumentative or rude. He can also lose them by breaking the house rules: no hitting, no kicking, no screaming, no spitting (yes that eventually had to become a house rule. Boys are so gross.), no biting (again...what??) and no throwing (in anger, but at least he hasn't learned how to slam a door yet).

The first two days were comically confusing. He used nearly all his tickets (yes, that's basically 7 hours of TV each day but I was determined that if he had to learn the hard way, so be it) and he kept trying to move tickets back and forth between jars. At one point, Neal suggested we put a cap on how many tickets he used each day, but I knew that he would figure it out eventually, just like he finally mastered a zipper and how to count by tens. And by the end of the first week, Blue had used all of his tickets but had earned more by drawing an entire zoo of animals, helping me dust and reading 2 Magic Treehouse books. And he did not watch TV one time while he was eating. He didn't even ask.

And that brings us to week 2, which was certainly been a little more lax. With 2 days off school plus one snow day and one day when I worked all day on my magazine deadline, he probably owed us a few tickets. But the dependence on the screen is diminishing. Blue, an only child with more toys than the family of 7 that lives behind us, has finally started to look around for something to play with instead of something to watch. I'm not saying we have been perfect but as long as we strive to be consistent, Blue doesn't fight it. If he's out of tickets, that's a concrete visual. And the threat of taking away tickets has proved valuable when little else seems to motivate him. Likewise, Neal and I dragged him to the National Civil War Museum last week and he was patient and calm the entire time. That earned him two tickets when we got home. I will say this works better if both parents are solidly on-board. It's like one more thing to remember, but it will pay off...eventually.

There are plenty of "Technology Ticket" free printables out there, but most of them are for readers. With Blue still learning sight words, I decided to create my own using clip art from Bing and my Publisher program. I'm not making it available to print because I'm sure that violates about 20 copyright laws, but I will show you what mine looks like so you can make your own. I couldn't find a decent graphic to represent "kind" and "helpful" that didn't involve children holding hands around a globe so I'm hoping this smiley face with a thumbs up gets the point across.

Unless it is a major sports event (every UK basketball game is a major sports event in this house, but also the Super Bowl and when the Louisville City Football Club went to the finals last year) or the next season of The Crown, Neal and I rarely watch TV. Before Blue was born, we spent entire Sundays lying in bed with coffee and bagels, watching HGTV and CNN. Now, it's an hour of TV before bed and Friday night movies. We don't have cable, just a cobbled together set of apps like Sling and Netflix streaming. And I'm OK with this. But the example we set has not been enough to deter Blue and he has taken everything that we have allowed him to get away with. So, for the sake of all of us, we need this. We need limits. We need less TV. And we are all learning to live more with less of it.

The Year of Living More With Less: The Stressing and the Blessing

As I write this, we are in PCS limbo. It happens every 18 months or so. We have been identified as movers, we have ranked the list of open jobs, we are waiting to hear from Human Resources Command at Ft. Knox regarding where we are headed next (they keep having snow days - which happens. When Neal was at Knox we had a snow so deep he had to shovel a path for Blue to walk so we could leave the house.). After a couple of conversations with Neal's Branch Manager, we have an idea of what our options might be. Sometimes it's something in our first five choices. Sometimes it's not. But that doesn't really matter. Like most military families, we rank jobs based on whether they will build or bust Neal's career. We never rank an OK job with an amazing location higher than an amazing job with an OK location. That means we've never been to Germany or Japan or Hawaii or Italy or Alaska. I'm not saying those locations only have low-level jobs, I'm saying we've never been given a list where those locations offer jobs (at that time) that would boost Neal's career. Sometimes the most desirable jobs go to someone in Military Intelligence or Infantry or Signal. However, it is also how we have landed in areas of the country that most people simply drive through or fly over and we have fallen in love with these areas just as deeply as if we had spent 2 years on the beaches of Honolulu or in the piazzas of Italy.

And because so many Americans don't get to experience the kind of quiet beauty that exists in the hamlets of Georgia, Virginia, Kentucky, Kansas and Pennsylvania, I want to share some of my favorite photos from the past 8 years.

Fresh peaches at Lane's Peach Orchard in Fort Valley, GA. I will still drive out of my way for Lane's fresh peach ice cream and wine. 

A spring lunch on the banks of the Appomattox River. And then some 4-leaf clover searching. City Point served as the headquarters for the Union Army during the Siege of Petersburg. But remnants of the Civil War are scattered throughout this region of Virginia.

Tasting sap straight from the tree at a maple syrup festival in southern Indiana. It's not anything you would want to pour over your pancake. 

Watching the Kroger employees craft the Kentucky Derby garland of roses for the Derby winner. They bag the reject roses and hand them out to anyone who stops by. They may not be good enough for the Derby winner, but I was thrilled to have them.

"I'm TWO," said Blue to Santa Claus...in Santa Claus, Indiana. Santa asked Blue about the real meaning of Christmas. Blue said, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Pwesents!" And it was then that we realized we had failed God. And Santa.

The time-consuming task of restoring a carousel horse by hand. Leavenworth, Kansas is home to the fastest carousel in the country, which is not as fun as it sounds. But the horses are works of art that, for some crazy reason, they allow us to straddle.

Not all of life is slower and more deliberate in Pennsylvania. Front Street in Harrisburg is a bustle of legislators and businesses. But here in Lancaster County, we yield to a simpler way of life. 

Sometimes all you need is 1/2 mile on the Appalachian Trail to remind you of what's important. We'll do more someday. Maybe the whole thing. But for now, in this season of life, this is plenty. 

I was writing at full tilt last weekend. Under a deadline with 4 articles to write and 2 days to do it, I answered a text from my editor with "I just started the second article. Beginnings and endings are hard." She texted me right back with, "In life, too." Farm Show chicks are born under bright lights and thousands of inquisitive eyes.

I am taking a moment to remember where we've been, what we've seen because it reminds me that it doesn't really matter what God's plan is for us. Whatever it is, it will work out. And being anxious about the future is simply distracting me from the joys of today. Still, it's easy for me to be paralyzed by fear of the unknown. What if we end up in a horrible school district? What if we don't get along with the neighbors? What if we're all miserable for two years? Except that has never been the case. So much stress when all we've been is blessed.

The season of uncertainty never gets any easier. Do I hold on to these ski pants or get rid of them? Will we need these life jackets at the next place? What will we do if the new house is half the size of this one with a carport instead of a 3 car garage? What if Blue is bullied? How do we keep all this unbridled anxiety from steering the ship? For Christmas, Mama Virgo presented Blue with a Magic 8 Ball because she saw it on some list of top gifts for 5-year olds. While Blue was busy asking it questions like "Where are my Dusty Crophopper socks?" (Goodwill) and "Where is the Build-A-Bear coupon that came in the mail yesterday?" (the very bottom of the trashcan) and "Where are the Duplo LEGOS that I gave to Santa?" (in an unmarked black trash bag in the garage), I wanted to know where we would be next. DC? Not likely. CA? It is decidedly so. There you have it, HRC. My Magic 8 Ball tells me so.

All I know is that we have made our homes where many people choose not to live. Vine Grove, Macon, Leavenworth...these are not pockets of glamour on the American landscape. I also know that I have been dragged kicking and screaming to every new assignment and I've been dragged kicking and screaming away from every old assignment. Beginnings and endings are hard, but being being suspended between an ending and a beginning is the worst. I do not want to say goodbye, I do not want to say hello. I want to be in the middle. But God doesn't strengthen us in the middle. The middle was our rest. Our rest is over. It's time to put on our armor and go. But where? And when?

 

The Year of Better: Recap

Happy 2018! 

Remember when we all flocked to see JFK in the theaters and at the conclusion of the film there was a note that the records relating to Kennedy's assassination would be released in 2020? And remember how that seemed like a lifetime away? Well, it's not. It's just down the block and around the corner. (I'm suddenly alerted to the fact of how much I use emojis in my daily communication as I'm overcome with the urge to insert a wide-eyed face here.)

I began 2017 with a house full of head colds and a commitment to better choices. I had 6 goals and here's how they played out over the year:

1. To eat a more Whole 30-based diet and eliminate fast food.
On the whole (Ha! See what I did there?), I stuck to this plan. We certainly had a couple of meals at Chick Fil A (although it's a solid 30 miles from the house so it was more a meal of convenience since we were in the area anyway), but fast food was reduced to once about every 8-12 weeks and I cooked 5-6 nights per week (although it was only about 60% Whole 30). I wish I had some stand-out meals to post here, but I don't. The meals were all good with only a few burning disappointments that had to be trashed immediately (apparently, you can't use long grain brown rice in one pot meals and expect it to cook all the way through before everything else turns to mush). After some blood work last October came back with indications of inflammation in my body, I will be doubling down on the vegetable intake this year. So, I'll try to be better about sharing some easy and divine vegetable recipes. If Blue inhales it without a single complaint, it will be blogworthy.


2. Buy organic as often as possible.
I'm not gonna lie...local grocery stores make this practically impossible. Either 2 stalks of broccoli cost the same as my new running shoes or they just don't keep it well-stocked. However, in this part of Pennsylvania, we have options.

I discovered several farmer's markets over the summer, including the Lancaster Central Market (if you are in the area and it's open, GO. It's the oldest continuously operating farmer's market in the country and it's one of the few intersections of Amish and English agriculture).

And for the first 6 months, I shopped at Oregon Dairy, which is a working dairy farm with attached grocery store, petting zoo, restaurant, playground and ice cream shop.

Although it's 45 minutes from the house, Blue was still home with me 2 days each week so we made this our day's adventure. Grocery first, then playground, followed up by ice cream. I miss that routine. My muffin top does not. Alas, Blue started full-time school in the fall and I was less tempted to drive 90 minutes for pig petting and ice cream.

Eventually, I found one that's closer to home and is open year-round. They are only open Thursday - Saturday so that requires some flexibility on my end. I now do my menu and grocery shopping on Thursdays and that has to last until the following Thursday. There are some items the farmer's market just doesn't carry, though (and there is an argument to be made that perhaps we don't need it after all, but cats need litter and the males in this house will mutiny if we run out of goldfish crackers). But I would say 80% of our groceries come from the farmer's market, which is mostly organic.

3. Purchase meat from our local Mennonite market.
I've managed to stick to this, even though it means a third stop just for groceries. (And because I'm completely addicted to Bell & Evans chicken, which I can only find at their retail store on the other side of town, sometimes a fourth stop.) But the beef is grass-fed, the chickens are free range, you can ask the meat counter to fresh cut anything you want and they are incredibly helpful when it comes to preparing the meat. That has allowed me to venture into cuts of beef that I wouldn't ordinarily try because I would end up ruining it. Bell & Evans air chills their chicken, which means there's no gross plastic pack of who knows what in the package under the chicken. I didn't know I was so disgusted by that little squishy gel pack and it will be very hard to go back.

4. Eliminate the toxic cleaners from our house.
YES!!!! This was my first task last January and I've slowly eliminated every single toxic cleaner we used and replaced them with safe and, just as importantly, effective household cleaners. I now make my own dishwasher tabs (linked to the recipe), clothing detergent (recipe coming), kitchen and bath cleaners (mainly Young Living's Thieves Cleaner, vinegar, baking soda, Epsom salt and Super Washing Soda).

Thieves (it's concentrated so it needs to be diluted with water and dilution depends on what you're cleaning) + baking soda cleans almost everything. The Thieves cleaner needs to sit on the surface for a minute so it can start working but I haven't found anything that it can't tackle. And if you are unsure about using it on extra germy areas like kitchen counters after cooking chicken or on the toilets, there are several Youtube videos out there where more ambitious moms than me have conducted a cotton swab test in a petri dish and compared it to bleach or other more traditional cleaners. Thieves wins. Every single time. I bought this bottle in February and I'm almost out. That's a testament to how little it takes (unfortunately, it's also a testament to how infrequently I clean my bathrooms, but that's a resolution for a different year). It takes about 30 minutes for me to make a batch of dishwasher tabs and clothing detergent (because somehow I always run out at the same time) and the most time-intensive part of the entire process is pressing the dishwasher mix into the ice cube trays and allowing the clothing detergent to cool completely before mixing it one last time.

We've also substituted our bath soap with Dr. Bronner's (which I hadn't heard of until Blue got the worst case of cradle cap when he was about 3 months old and some crunchy mama blog said to wash it with Dr. Bronner's. It worked like a charm, but I deemed it unworthy of anything else and threw the remainder in the trash. I still weep for my past self over that). In addition to the whimsical and wordy packaging (that is worth the read if you ever find yourself on the toilet without your phone), Dr. Bronner's is a 0 on the Think Dirty app and comes in at least 6 different scents (including one that is scent-less for babies and is actually a 1 on Think Dirty, ironically enough).

For mopping, I use a capful of Thieves, about a gallon of hot water and the juice of one lemon. To clean my furniture, I use a mix of olive oil, vinegar and lemon juice. I've been doing both of these things for a year and the non-toxic cleaners actually work better than the toxic ones. To clean my microwave, I have an Angry Mama, which is completely unnecessary but so fun to watch that sometimes I clean my already-clean microwave just to watch her little bobbing, steaming head go round and round.

I will say that this is the biggest change I've made this year that has made the biggest difference for me. My house is clean and without the use of toxic chemicals. I continue to find new recipes and ideas for expanding on this goal. I will still post my clothing detergent recipe, but I wanted to use it for a year before sharing it with you. And I will share other finds after I test them for myself.

5. Spend at least 30 minutes outside everyday.
Apparently, I only like to be outside if there is some task to be completed. I only stuck to this when the weeds threatened to return the playground to its naturally forested state and I spent 6 weeks weeding by hand (because Round Up doesn't comply with goal #4) while Blue played. This is one goal where I fell woefully short and I need to re-focus on for 2018. I have a neighbor who is outside almost any time I drive by and she's my inspiration. She and her kids can be found tossing the football, drawing with chalk on the driveway, playing basketball and swinging on their playground. And her kids never complain about how hard it is to ride a bike, catch a ball or swing themselves...unlike Blue who can't be bothered to do any of these things. Clearly some shiz needs to change around here. 

6. Incorporate essential oils into our daily routines. 
At the end of January I received my Premium Starter Kit and a diffuser from Young Living Essential Oils. I had an oily friend (who I now lovingly refer to as my oil guru) on speed text and a hope that the oils would prove to be worth it. I started by diffusing Lavender and Cedarwood to help us sleep. That worked. I used Panaway on my cramps. That worked. I used Peppermint and Lemon and Lavender on my headaches. That worked.

One morning last March, I fell to the ground, doubled over in pain from an ovarian cyst. After a series of exams, ultrasounds and a frightening phone call from my doctor that it might be cancer, it was determined that it was just an unusually large cyst that would resolve on its own. I texted my oil guru. I went off the birth control that wasn't doing its job anyway (because it was intended to control my cysts, not control birth). I started on Progessence Plus and Endoflex and Clary Sage. I'm religious about my use and I haven't had a painful cyst since. I also don't have the extreme mood swings that I had on birth control or the debilitating cramps during my period and I lost about 5 pounds right off the bat. Maybe it's all in my head, but maybe it's not.

On the last Monday of July, Blue took a nose dive out of the RV window and onto the pavement below. He was diagnosed with an orbital skull fracture, which left him with a ping pong ball-sized lump on his forehead and took about 10 years off my life. I called my oil guru. I went into August armed with a rollerball of Helichrysum, Frankincense and Cypress, and a tub of rose ointment. By the beginning of September, the team of physicians concluded that he had healed beyond what they expected. Part of that is the oils. Part of it is God - that he didn't land in a different way that would have resulted in a worse injury. It was bad, but it didn't turn out to be life-threatening. And I was ready with oils that would support his muscular and nervous systems so his body could heal faster.

There is a lot of debate about Young Living vs. DoTerra vs. Plant Therapy vs. whatever you buy at Whole Foods or on Amazon. And maybe I'll write a separate post about that someday and maybe I won't. What I can say now is that you have to do your own research, as in-depth as you deem necessary. Read, ask questions, talk to people. There are concerns that Young Living's price point has more to do with its direct sales structure than with the quality of oils. There are people who are morally opposed to DoTerra because it was created by a couple of guys who started at Young Living and then used all they learned to create a competing company. And there are people who quit the others because the oils were topped with fillers that reduced the effectiveness, making them essentially useless. There are pros and cons to all corporations, especially in the essential oil industry, and as informed consumers, the best we can do is research it and then decide what we can accept and what's a deal-breaker.

I have decided to be more open this year about ways we are using essential oils to not only prevent illness but actually promote health. When I read through my post from last January, I clearly detect a tone of exhaustion that stems from being sick of being sick. Although I ended 2017 with a stomach bug, it was mild and quick-to-pass. I attribute that to consistent use of high-quality oils that promote health.

The Year of Better was like a wheel turning, with so many spokes pointing inward toward one common goal: to be a better version of myself (and to bring my family along for the ride). Although I accomplished most of the tasks I set forth last year (and even completed some I hadn't originally included like checking my metabolic blood work and starting Weight Watchers), I spent a lot of money doing it. And some of it was necessary but much of it was simply convenient.

That leads me to 2018's project: The Year of Living More With Less. Less shopping, less food, less money, less unjustified worry, less meat, less social media, less preoccupation with my phone, less TV, less stuff, less mindless distractions, less excuses, less procrastination. I don't have my goals set yet, but I'm working on them. It's going to be a hectic year with another move imminent. A new house, new city, new school, new doctors and dentists, new friends, new, new, new. And that's when I tend to accumulate more, more, more. So, this is certainly a timely challenge. 3 down, 362 to go...