Champagne Friday: When Mama Gets Angry

When I was blogging consistently in 2009 (before baby, before active duty moves, when Neal was deployed and all I had to keep me company was Meredith Grey and a bottle of Barefoot Bubbly), I began a series of posts called Champagne Friday. As the name infers, I blogged while drinking a bottle of champagne every Friday. Some of those posts made sense, others...eh...not so much. But the point was life is too short to only drink champagne on New Year's Eve and even a Friday in the middle of April is an appropriate time to use the champagne glasses from your wedding.

I'm ready to do that again. Minus the day drinking because, as it turns out, drinking anything with alcohol while your child is at school is somewhat frowned upon. Although the French and the Italians do it so it can't be all bad. Look how skinny and fashionable they are. Maybe a little breakfast pinot would convince me to put on a bra before lunch.

Anyway, we're back with Champagne Friday: The Angry Mama edition. And this does not have anything to do with me being angry or a mom (although the next time Blue forces himself to gag on dinner, I'm going to be both of those things). Nope...this is my new favorite cleaning toy. And as Mary Poppins always says, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." An Angry Mama microwave cleaner helps you not kill everyone in your family after they microwave their spaghetti without covering it up first.

I just love her because I feel like she's a direct reflection of me after I've asked Blue to get dressed, again. Anyway, you pop off her head (just that action alone is surprisingly cathartic) and fill her to the line with white vinegar. Then fill her to the next line with water. Pop her head (and hair) back on and put her in the microwave for 7 minutes. Just a normal cook setting will do. No need to melt Mama.

Now, I decided to blog about her after I had just cleaned the microwave the day before. So, please don't go away assuming this is what my microwave looks like before I clean it. It really looks more like this.

via Huffington Post

Even though this is a stock photo from HuffPost, doesn't that make you a little sad for whoever had to clean it afterwards? I mean, just throw it in the trash. Also, I'm just kidding. Our microwave has never looked like that, but it's only because Blue can't reach the buttons yet.

Anyway, Angry Mama has tiny holes in the top of her head (as we tend to do) and the vinegar/steam escapes through the top (I wish there was a Flintstone version where it escaped through her ears) and kind of loosens all the gunk that's cooked on to your microwave. When she's done, just wipe out the microwave with a paper towel (or 20) and you're finished! And regardless of what has exploded, it's just that easy every time.

Now, do you have to have an Angry Mama to get your microwave clean? Not at all. But I have to tell you, I get a certain amount of joy (and possibly cancer) from standing in front of the microwave and watching her head steam as she spins round and round.

This photo was surprisingly difficult to capture as my phone really wanted to zoom in on the grid pattern in the door.

My friend microwaves a wet sponge for 5 minutes and that pretty much does the same thing. Plus, it kills anything breeding in her sponge. And that works, too. But Angry Mama is my spoonful of sugar, which may eventually give me diabetes but is pretty fabulous right now!

I feel like I should point out that my blog is completely sponsor-less. Every museum I write about, every product I feature is simply because I want to write about it. I don't get things in the mail to try out and then blog about. I don't get free tickets to anything. Blue gets more free stuff than I do. And I would like to keep it sponsor-less. Although I'm all for building a fan base. Because when that one post got 110,000 hits in 3 days, I think I floated above my body for a little while. 

The Year of Better: Recap

Happy 2018! 

Remember when we all flocked to see JFK in the theaters and at the conclusion of the film there was a note that the records relating to Kennedy's assassination would be released in 2020? And remember how that seemed like a lifetime away? Well, it's not. It's just down the block and around the corner. (I'm suddenly alerted to the fact of how much I use emojis in my daily communication as I'm overcome with the urge to insert a wide-eyed face here.)

I began 2017 with a house full of head colds and a commitment to better choices. I had 6 goals and here's how they played out over the year:

1. To eat a more Whole 30-based diet and eliminate fast food.
On the whole (Ha! See what I did there?), I stuck to this plan. We certainly had a couple of meals at Chick Fil A (although it's a solid 30 miles from the house so it was more a meal of convenience since we were in the area anyway), but fast food was reduced to once about every 8-12 weeks and I cooked 5-6 nights per week (although it was only about 60% Whole 30). I wish I had some stand-out meals to post here, but I don't. The meals were all good with only a few burning disappointments that had to be trashed immediately (apparently, you can't use long grain brown rice in one pot meals and expect it to cook all the way through before everything else turns to mush). After some blood work last October came back with indications of inflammation in my body, I will be doubling down on the vegetable intake this year. So, I'll try to be better about sharing some easy and divine vegetable recipes. If Blue inhales it without a single complaint, it will be blogworthy.


2. Buy organic as often as possible.
I'm not gonna lie...local grocery stores make this practically impossible. Either 2 stalks of broccoli cost the same as my new running shoes or they just don't keep it well-stocked. However, in this part of Pennsylvania, we have options.

I discovered several farmer's markets over the summer, including the Lancaster Central Market (if you are in the area and it's open, GO. It's the oldest continuously operating farmer's market in the country and it's one of the few intersections of Amish and English agriculture).

And for the first 6 months, I shopped at Oregon Dairy, which is a working dairy farm with attached grocery store, petting zoo, restaurant, playground and ice cream shop.

Although it's 45 minutes from the house, Blue was still home with me 2 days each week so we made this our day's adventure. Grocery first, then playground, followed up by ice cream. I miss that routine. My muffin top does not. Alas, Blue started full-time school in the fall and I was less tempted to drive 90 minutes for pig petting and ice cream.

Eventually, I found one that's closer to home and is open year-round. They are only open Thursday - Saturday so that requires some flexibility on my end. I now do my menu and grocery shopping on Thursdays and that has to last until the following Thursday. There are some items the farmer's market just doesn't carry, though (and there is an argument to be made that perhaps we don't need it after all, but cats need litter and the males in this house will mutiny if we run out of goldfish crackers). But I would say 80% of our groceries come from the farmer's market, which is mostly organic.

3. Purchase meat from our local Mennonite market.
I've managed to stick to this, even though it means a third stop just for groceries. (And because I'm completely addicted to Bell & Evans chicken, which I can only find at their retail store on the other side of town, sometimes a fourth stop.) But the beef is grass-fed, the chickens are free range, you can ask the meat counter to fresh cut anything you want and they are incredibly helpful when it comes to preparing the meat. That has allowed me to venture into cuts of beef that I wouldn't ordinarily try because I would end up ruining it. Bell & Evans air chills their chicken, which means there's no gross plastic pack of who knows what in the package under the chicken. I didn't know I was so disgusted by that little squishy gel pack and it will be very hard to go back.

4. Eliminate the toxic cleaners from our house.
YES!!!! This was my first task last January and I've slowly eliminated every single toxic cleaner we used and replaced them with safe and, just as importantly, effective household cleaners. I now make my own dishwasher tabs (linked to the recipe), clothing detergent (recipe coming), kitchen and bath cleaners (mainly Young Living's Thieves Cleaner, vinegar, baking soda, Epsom salt and Super Washing Soda).

Thieves (it's concentrated so it needs to be diluted with water and dilution depends on what you're cleaning) + baking soda cleans almost everything. The Thieves cleaner needs to sit on the surface for a minute so it can start working but I haven't found anything that it can't tackle. And if you are unsure about using it on extra germy areas like kitchen counters after cooking chicken or on the toilets, there are several Youtube videos out there where more ambitious moms than me have conducted a cotton swab test in a petri dish and compared it to bleach or other more traditional cleaners. Thieves wins. Every single time. I bought this bottle in February and I'm almost out. That's a testament to how little it takes (unfortunately, it's also a testament to how infrequently I clean my bathrooms, but that's a resolution for a different year). It takes about 30 minutes for me to make a batch of dishwasher tabs and clothing detergent (because somehow I always run out at the same time) and the most time-intensive part of the entire process is pressing the dishwasher mix into the ice cube trays and allowing the clothing detergent to cool completely before mixing it one last time.

We've also substituted our bath soap with Dr. Bronner's (which I hadn't heard of until Blue got the worst case of cradle cap when he was about 3 months old and some crunchy mama blog said to wash it with Dr. Bronner's. It worked like a charm, but I deemed it unworthy of anything else and threw the remainder in the trash. I still weep for my past self over that). In addition to the whimsical and wordy packaging (that is worth the read if you ever find yourself on the toilet without your phone), Dr. Bronner's is a 0 on the Think Dirty app and comes in at least 6 different scents (including one that is scent-less for babies and is actually a 1 on Think Dirty, ironically enough).

For mopping, I use a capful of Thieves, about a gallon of hot water and the juice of one lemon. To clean my furniture, I use a mix of olive oil, vinegar and lemon juice. I've been doing both of these things for a year and the non-toxic cleaners actually work better than the toxic ones. To clean my microwave, I have an Angry Mama, which is completely unnecessary but so fun to watch that sometimes I clean my already-clean microwave just to watch her little bobbing, steaming head go round and round.

I will say that this is the biggest change I've made this year that has made the biggest difference for me. My house is clean and without the use of toxic chemicals. I continue to find new recipes and ideas for expanding on this goal. I will still post my clothing detergent recipe, but I wanted to use it for a year before sharing it with you. And I will share other finds after I test them for myself.

5. Spend at least 30 minutes outside everyday.
Apparently, I only like to be outside if there is some task to be completed. I only stuck to this when the weeds threatened to return the playground to its naturally forested state and I spent 6 weeks weeding by hand (because Round Up doesn't comply with goal #4) while Blue played. This is one goal where I fell woefully short and I need to re-focus on for 2018. I have a neighbor who is outside almost any time I drive by and she's my inspiration. She and her kids can be found tossing the football, drawing with chalk on the driveway, playing basketball and swinging on their playground. And her kids never complain about how hard it is to ride a bike, catch a ball or swing themselves...unlike Blue who can't be bothered to do any of these things. Clearly some shiz needs to change around here. 

6. Incorporate essential oils into our daily routines. 
At the end of January I received my Premium Starter Kit and a diffuser from Young Living Essential Oils. I had an oily friend (who I now lovingly refer to as my oil guru) on speed text and a hope that the oils would prove to be worth it. I started by diffusing Lavender and Cedarwood to help us sleep. That worked. I used Panaway on my cramps. That worked. I used Peppermint and Lemon and Lavender on my headaches. That worked.

One morning last March, I fell to the ground, doubled over in pain from an ovarian cyst. After a series of exams, ultrasounds and a frightening phone call from my doctor that it might be cancer, it was determined that it was just an unusually large cyst that would resolve on its own. I texted my oil guru. I went off the birth control that wasn't doing its job anyway (because it was intended to control my cysts, not control birth). I started on Progessence Plus and Endoflex and Clary Sage. I'm religious about my use and I haven't had a painful cyst since. I also don't have the extreme mood swings that I had on birth control or the debilitating cramps during my period and I lost about 5 pounds right off the bat. Maybe it's all in my head, but maybe it's not.

On the last Monday of July, Blue took a nose dive out of the RV window and onto the pavement below. He was diagnosed with an orbital skull fracture, which left him with a ping pong ball-sized lump on his forehead and took about 10 years off my life. I called my oil guru. I went into August armed with a rollerball of Helichrysum, Frankincense and Cypress, and a tub of rose ointment. By the beginning of September, the team of physicians concluded that he had healed beyond what they expected. Part of that is the oils. Part of it is God - that he didn't land in a different way that would have resulted in a worse injury. It was bad, but it didn't turn out to be life-threatening. And I was ready with oils that would support his muscular and nervous systems so his body could heal faster.

There is a lot of debate about Young Living vs. DoTerra vs. Plant Therapy vs. whatever you buy at Whole Foods or on Amazon. And maybe I'll write a separate post about that someday and maybe I won't. What I can say now is that you have to do your own research, as in-depth as you deem necessary. Read, ask questions, talk to people. There are concerns that Young Living's price point has more to do with its direct sales structure than with the quality of oils. There are people who are morally opposed to DoTerra because it was created by a couple of guys who started at Young Living and then used all they learned to create a competing company. And there are people who quit the others because the oils were topped with fillers that reduced the effectiveness, making them essentially useless. There are pros and cons to all corporations, especially in the essential oil industry, and as informed consumers, the best we can do is research it and then decide what we can accept and what's a deal-breaker.

I have decided to be more open this year about ways we are using essential oils to not only prevent illness but actually promote health. When I read through my post from last January, I clearly detect a tone of exhaustion that stems from being sick of being sick. Although I ended 2017 with a stomach bug, it was mild and quick-to-pass. I attribute that to consistent use of high-quality oils that promote health.

The Year of Better was like a wheel turning, with so many spokes pointing inward toward one common goal: to be a better version of myself (and to bring my family along for the ride). Although I accomplished most of the tasks I set forth last year (and even completed some I hadn't originally included like checking my metabolic blood work and starting Weight Watchers), I spent a lot of money doing it. And some of it was necessary but much of it was simply convenient.

That leads me to 2018's project: The Year of Living More With Less. Less shopping, less food, less money, less unjustified worry, less meat, less social media, less preoccupation with my phone, less TV, less stuff, less mindless distractions, less excuses, less procrastination. I don't have my goals set yet, but I'm working on them. It's going to be a hectic year with another move imminent. A new house, new city, new school, new doctors and dentists, new friends, new, new, new. And that's when I tend to accumulate more, more, more. So, this is certainly a timely challenge. 3 down, 362 to go...

The Year of Better: The Dishwasher Tab Edition

I think I may have promised a dishwasher tab recipe sometime ago. The fact that I'm just now getting around to it has nothing to do with my propensity to procrastinate (say that 10 times fast after 4 bourbon shots and a mojito). The fit nailed the shan this summer and without going into it here (that's a whole separate post about prayer and God and why an independent 4-year old boy will probably age me faster than 2 deployments in the Middle East), suffice it to say, I have continued to make tabs and wash dishes nightly, but I owe you a post.

I have a love/hate and, depending on the rental home, a hate/hate relationship with automatic dishwashers. When we finally retire and settle down, I'm taking my stockpile of cash and buying the best dishwasher that money can afford. We may live in a tiny home on the side of a cliff, but I'm going to own a kick ass dishwasher because...first world problems. So, just as Neal does battle with the squirrels pretty much everywhere we live, I coddle and cuss the dishwasher. Making dishwasher tabs is my attempt at getting clean dishes every time while making sure the dishwasher doesn't just roll over and die before we are ready to move again.

So, I should say that the dishwasher did roll over and play dead while my sister and nieces were in town (because timing can either be beautiful or a bitch). While I waited for the Sears repairman to appear at our door and fretted about whether I had caused everything to short out with my tree hugger dish cleaner, I did some research. (Yes, it would have been smarter to do the research before I started using the tabs but...go big or go home.) As it turns out, technicians (of the Google variety) suggest cleaning your dishwasher with baking soda and vinegar a few times each year to unclog build-up (which also suggests to me that perhaps I should be drinking the same concoction. If it's on my dishes, it's in my body). Both Sears technicians (because why fix the problem on the first visit when you can take 2, preferably 3 weeks apart with 2 different techs) concurred. So, in the end, it was a switch that had gone bad and not due to any chemical-free concoction I had whipped up. WHEW.

I am going to do something really annoying to you but really considerate to someone else. I'm going to send you to this website for the dishwasher tab recipe. One of the unspoken rules of blogging etiquette is if someone else has worked tirelessly to perfect the recipe, you really don't copy and paste it into your own blog. Use the recipe, post about the recipe but drive traffic to that person's blog, too. I've seen some variations on this recipe. One of my favorite chemical-free bloggers uses essentially the same ingredients but with citric acid and without the kosher salt. I simply went with this one because I have kosher salt laying around but not citric acid and have been happy so far.

So, a few tips now that you've checked out the recipe.

1. It has to be kosher or Epsom salt. I personally use Epsom because my first batch (where I assumed sea salt would work just fine) was so catastrophic that I now use the biggest grains of salt, short of road salt. If you ignore this little piece of advice, you will have a bowl of rock hard hot mess before the ingredients are even properly mixed. I promise.

2. Super Washing Soda can be found just about everywhere. I pick it up at a fairly small Weis. If they have it, you can rest assured that Kroger probably stocks it, too. This will also come in handy should you want to try your hand at clothing detergent, too. Also, if you run out of super washing soda while you are making a batch of tabs and think "eh..that's basically 1 cup", just know that your tabs will probably stay mushy until you've used them all up. It's entirely possible that I'm speaking from recent experience. But they will clean just the same.

3. You can add fresh squeezed lemon juice or the bottled variety from the baking section. One time I tried adding Young Living lemon essential oil and one time I threw in some Young Living Thieves cleaner. I couldn't tell a huge difference between any of it but if my experiments had involved a petri dish, I might have more to say.

4. I mix everything in a big bowl and then spoon it out into ice cube trays - which then go into the refrigerator if it's particularly hot outside (causing it to be fairly warm inside). I tried using candy molds once (because the end product would fit inside the dishwasher compartment) but it wasn't enough cleaner. Besides, the best way to use these is to just toss them in the bottom of the washer, shut the door, hit start and congratulate yourself on saving the planet by eating some fair trade chocolate.

5. These tabs can be dry and ready to use in an hour or up to 8 hours if it's hot in your house. But sticking them in the fridge will help them harden. 

6. Here's the most important part. I saved it for the end because persistence and long attention spans should be rewarded. I basically pre-wash all of our dishes because our dishwasher is basic. I mean like a stay-at-home mom in her black yoga pants and a chai latte on her way to Target. Basic. So, I can't really say how much of the cleanliness is due to pre-wash (oh who am I kidding...pre-scrub) and how much is due to the tabs and their ingredients. But we have no spots and very little residue (mostly on Blue's IKEA cups). And when there is residue, I take comfort in knowing that it's mostly baking soda and lemon juice instead of something that ends in -hyde or -phate and may turn us green from the inside, out.

So, without further ado, here are the pretty pictures for all of you visual learners:

I just made a thousand word blog post about something that takes roughly 6 minutes to make. Seriously, just keep these ingredients on hand because someday you are going to run out of dishwasher detergent and it's going to take longer for your toddler to put his shoes on to go to the grocery than it will to whip this is up and start using it.

Next up: our clothing detergent and how I no longer get random holes in my clothes.

Enlightenment in the Dairy Aisle

One of my least favorite parts about moving all the time is having to constantly re-establish home base. I usually find the house and the school before we ever leave the last duty station (that has worked remarkably well every time save once) but finding new doctors, dentists, churches, playgrounds, libraries, grocery stores, car mechanics, hair stylists, gyms, and childcare, not to mention figuring out which restaurants are overpriced, which ones might give you E.coli and which ones are the hidden-gem-holes-in-the-wall that only the locals know about...it's exhausting and it feels like as soon as we find a comfortable groove, it's time to do it all over again. Sometimes I get it all right the first time. Our pediatricians have always been top-notch, we usually find a reliable farmers market within the first 2 months. Other searches have required more time. I rarely find a GP on the first try and it usually takes about 6 months to find a hair stylist that doesn't mention bangs at least once. I have found ways to expedite the process. Find the YMCA, an Aveda salon and a Firestone and work out from there. But grocery stores are tricky. Kroger isn't everywhere and even if it is, it may not be the best option. We don't always have access to a commissary, but even when we do, sometimes the produce is over ripe and they run completely out of chicken. Farmers markets are only open in the spring and summer. Some grocery stores are more expensive, some have a wider organic food selection, some have gas points, some have gas points but no actual gas stations to redeem them within 20 miles. I'm very picky about our groceries because we are what we eat and I go to great lengths to buy very little prepackaged foods. So, the whole foods I buy need to be of the best quality and I prefer them not to have made the trip from Chile, or even California, if I can help it.

When we moved to Dutch Amish Pennsylvania, one truth struck me immediately. This was no food desert. We don't live in a town surrounded by farms, we live on land within the farms (and every time they fertilize, we just have to remind ourselves...that's the smell of dinner on the table. Kind of like the sound of jets criss-crossing the sky over our house at Warner Robins was simply the sound of freedom). Our neighborhood backs up to a cornfield. The road my husband drives to work everyday passes the dairy plant and then, a few miles later, rolls past the dairy farms. And every time I drive to the YMCA, I pass a house with a cooler and a sign in the driveway: "EGGS FOR SALE". Take a dozen, leave your cash in the cooler. (In autumn, a house on the way to Hershey displays a surplus of squash and zucchini on a bench in the yard. Same sign, same neighborly honor system.) For months I rolled my judgmental eyes at the idea of buying perishables from someone's Coleman at the end of their driveway. And then I saw someone stop. And then someone else. And someone else. And I quit being judgmental and decided those might be the best damn eggs this side of Philly.

But our house runs on more than just eggs and when the roadside stands and weekend markets closed up shop in October, I needed a new way to meet our family's caloric needs. I have been buying our meat exclusively at a Mennonite-run market in the next town over since I discovered it on the way to Hershey one day last summer. It's fresh from the farm and if they don't have it, you don't need it. You want a leg of lamb? I'm sorry, you'll have to wait until spring. But here is the most delicious looking chicken thighs you've ever seen. And here's a recipe, in case you aren't quite sure what to do with them. And the cashiers just give the whole roll of stickers to Blue for his choosing. But again, the Miller Family cannot live on eggs and meat alone. So I was relegated to the local Weis for the weekly shopping trip. It was fine but it wasn't fun. Shopping was a chore and we slogged through every week, usually with Blue passing out from sheer boredom in the cart.

Seriously, it was so boring. I was tempted to climb right in there with him. Also, this is a cart full of prepackaged foods. But not all of this is for us. Hey Karen, here are the chips I still haven't mailed.

We continued on this way until a couple of months ago when we were entertaining Big Mama and Nana Anna for the weekend. After church, we trekked down the road to Oregon Dairy for lunch. It is a working dairy farm with a restaurant on site, but it is so. much. more. There is also a full-size grocery store, extensive playground and ice cream shop on the premises. There are hay rides available for groups to tour the farm and to celebrate Earth Day, they gave away free dehydrated cow manure to use in flower beds. In June they will celebrate Family Farm Days, which promises to be 3 days of good ole fashioned farm fun with milk tastings, ice cream samples, alpacas to pet, chicks hatching, tours of the barn and a barbeque chicken dinner (the BBQ chicken dinner is a big thing around here. Every firehouse, VFW and church within 40 miles has one at some point during the year). Grocery shopping here is not a chore, it is an event that includes checking on the pig (which is usually sleeping), saying hi to the goats, jumping on the inflatable bounce pad and slipping down the corkscrew slide at least three times. This is all topped off by one scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream in a waffle cone. I'm going to be distraught when it's time to move.

This is not mint chocolate chip. And there may have been more than one scoop.

Our grocery day is Tuesday and for reasons unknown to me, Blue is usually a rollercoaster of emotion on Tuesdays. Maybe Monday was just too Monday. Maybe he's eagerly awaiting Wednesday. I don't have a clue but it seems like one scoop of ice cream is barely reward enough for surviving it. Often I wish they had a bar with boozy shakes. Last Tuesday was no different. We were in the dairy aisle and Blue had already been in the front of the cart, the back of the cart, the side of the cart and was now trying to steer it while holding a stuffed sloth and begging for Dannon yogurt drinks. Exasperated, I muttered something to the gentleman stocking the sour cream about needing an extra helper today. I would come back at 5 to get him. He can be paid in string cheese. The gentleman chuckled and said, "No thanks. We raised 5. I don't know how we did it. We must have been crazy." We stood there, commiserating about the joys and challenges of parenting when he said something that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. He mentioned that he, too, raised boys and said, "My mother told me something a few years ago that I'll never forget. She said boys take in the world with their hands and girls take in the world with their eyes."And that was it. My ah-ha moment in the dairy aisle of the dairy farm. Yes. This is why we can't go to art museums. This is why we can't have nice things. This is why I'm utterly changed simply by being a boy's mom. This makes so much sense. How many times have I said, "Do you have to touch EVERYTHING??"  and "Put that down!" and "Don't touch that!" So. Many. Times. And I thought back to being a wee Ally. I didn't touch everything. I didn't tinker with anything. I didn't press buttons or turn things over to see what was under them or touch something just for the sake of touching it. Was I a broken child? Nope. I'm a girl. So, thank you Oregon Dairy...for the bulk box of Wilbur buds and the bouncy pad and the ice cream, but mostly for hiring people who will stop and share one nugget of wisdom that will change your perspective entirely. And thanks for not having sticky frozen apple juice concentrate. That's pretty huge, too.

The Year of Better Update - Beauty and the Beets

It was my intention to post an update at the beginning of each month, but if my goal is to write coherent sentences with proper punctuation, I have to wait until after Blue goes to bed. And by that point, I prefer to burrow on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate and watch Victoria (which I love, now that I realize it's more like Downton Abbey and less like The Queen). But I've been getting questions from my Facebook friends about recipes and how the more natural approaches to skin care, health and home-making have been working out.

In short, it's freaking awesome and I can't believe I waited so long to switch over.

So, I'm going to share what I've done so far, breaking it down to health and beauty in this post and cleaning/cooking in the next one.

If you are truly interested in reducing the amount of chemicals in your home, I suggest you download the Think Dirty app and the Environmental Working Group (EWG) app. Think Dirty evaluates health and beauty products (it has a scan feature...it's tempting to scan everything in your bathroom...don't do it - especially if your husband just bought you a year-long subscription to Birch Box. Just pick a few things to start with because you are going to want to throw it all in the trash.) while EWG focuses on cosmetics, sunscreen and food. They also list some cleaning products, which is how I discovered that I can keep my Seventh Generation dish soap, but I need to ditch the Aveeno baby soap and anything from Mrs. Meyers (I know...sad trombones on that one). So, armed with these 2 apps, I started with the basics: deodorant and hair care.

1. I switched to "Sensitive" Dove deodorant when I kept breaking out in my arm pits (yeah, it's just as unsightly as it sounds). But even after I switched, I kept breaking out. I decided it was the fate of my skin and resigned myself to sleeves. But my deodorant scored a NINE on the Think Dirty app (mostly for fragrance - which is counter-intuitive to sensitive skin but whatever...). I then got on the EWG app and browsed their list of "approved" deodorants. Kiss My Face scored well for most of their products and when I happened to find it at Wegman's, it felt like stars aligning. Surprise, surprise...after a month of using Kiss My Face, my underarms are almost completely blemish-free! (Fair warning, though: if it wears off overnight and then you sweat through a Muscle Pump class the next morning, you will stink. I moved away from the fans to keep from spreading the stench, but I'm not sure it helped.)

2. Again, when I scanned my shampoo and conditioner in the Think Dirty app, they scored 9's and 10's for perfumes and formaldehyde. I hate it when my beauty products contain formaldehyde. I would prefer not to be embalmed on a daily basis. After washing my hair with Dr. Bronner's soap for about a week (and contending with increasingly crispy hair), I decided I needed to find another option. I found the Acure line at Target (yay!) and it is highly rated on both apps (double yay!). It contains a lot of food-type ingredients, like pomegranate juice and something derived from sugar beets. They also have a seaweed exfoliating scrub that I use about 3 times a week. Yes, it's green, but it makes my face feel so soft...so not like it's almost 40.

3. I know. Sorry. If you're a guy or no longer have to face this battle every month, just skip to #4. But, it is what it is. So, I've been using Tampax almost since day one, when I was super confused about the applicator needing to come back out. And they've been fine. They did the job and I never thought much about it. Although every now and then I would convince myself that I had contracted Toxic Shock Syndrome until I realized it was a head cold or the flu. But a few months ago I started noticing more of my "level-headed and reasonable" crunchy granola Facebook friends "liking" the Lola brand of tampons and pads. And since you get a great deal as a first-time customer, I ordered 2 boxes to give them a try. I will say, they do the job and I don't think much about it. However, I feel much more comfortable knowing it's 100% cotton going up there instead of propylene glycol, adhesives, artificial fragrances and polyester. I've already ordered the matching pads for this month.

4. So...makeup remover. It's a necessary evil and I pretty much do as little as I can get away with and still have clear skin. The Neutrogena wipes have been my go-to for so long that I just started buying them at Costco. However, they scored a...wait for it...NINE in the Think Dirty app (this is why you don't scan your entire bathroom at once, friends. You've been warned.) and while some things I waited until I ran out of to replace, this was not one of them. I know this is shocking but it scored the highest for "fragrance". There are almost 3000 fragrance ingredients added to personal care products, usually to mask an odor (eww...nothing says "fresh" like the smell of chemicals in the morning) or to add a pleasant scent, but they can also disrupt hormones. I like my hormones to be regulated and, well, not disrupted. So, the makeup remover is a little trickier because it's a concoction using ingredients around the house and a few essential oils from Young Living. (This is where I do a quick plug for Young Living and say that if you are interested in using essential oils for more than just making things smell nice, YL should be your only source. I will explain in a later post, but trust the Virgo who researched it for weeks before ever putting a drop on my skin - and continues to research it still.)

Makeup Remover Recipe:
1. 2 Tb jojoba oil or grapeseed oil (these are my 2 "face oils" because they don't clog the pores like coconut oil can)
2. 1 Tb of alcohol-free witch hazel (I also get this at Target. It will say "alcohol-free" on the bottle.)
3. 4 drops of lavender
4. 4 drops of frankincense (yes, like the Three Wise Men)
5. Optional: 4 drops of lemon or tea tree or myrrh (again, Wise Men). I've seen it with a combination of any of these. I didn't have any tea tree or myrrh when I made this batch and lemon keeps me awake at night so I just used #3 and #4. You can also add Vitamin E but, again, I didn't have any on hand when I made this.
*Add to a glass spray bottle. Yes, if the essential oils are in there it has to be glass.
*Give a little swirl before using each time and spray one cotton round generously. Apply to face. Hear the angels sing.

I seriously love this recipe and I can't wait to play with the ingredients as I build my collection of oils. Also, my age spots are beginning to fade and the worry wrinkle between my eyebrows is less pronounced. And my face feels re-hydrated without leaving an oil slick on the pillow.

5. "Stretch Mark Cream"...aka Why Didn't I Discover This Stuff About 4 Years Ago cream. OK I vaguely remember some people telling me that coconut oil was nectar from the gods and that if I cared about my epidermis at all, I would slather it everywhere every day. Well, coconut oil is nectar from the gods, y'all. And while I still keep a jar of Cetaphil in my car for dry, lizard hands (the Cetaphil products scored a 5 on Think Dirty, except for Baby Cetaphil which scored a 9...what is wrong with THAT picture?), I whipped up this batch for daily slathering.

Stretch Mark Cream Recipe:
1. Jar of unrefined, organic (or virgin, cold-pressed or raw) coconut oil
2. 12-15 drops of Gentle Baby Young Living oil
Fun fact: If you dump a jar of coconut oil in a bowl and whip it with an electric beater, it will stay, more or less, whipped in the jar. Add some Gentle Baby oil and voila. I've also known people who add Vitamin E oil and/or Frankincense and Myrrh to this, as well. (I have some bars of local beeswax that I'm going to melt but I think I'm going to put that in my first batch of lip balm.)

6. Soap. We started using the Dove Shea Butter soap when I was trying to address the armpit acne issue and we've just stuck with it. Most of the Dove soaps score a 9 on Think Dirty but the sensitive skin version scored a 3, so if making your own body soap is too tree huggy for you, there are other options. But this couldn't possibly be easier.

Body Soap Recipe
 1. Dr. Bronner's Baby Mild Liquid soap (I started with Peppermint first. It was awesome until I washed the lady parts. And I was tingly for at least 5 minutes, regardless of how well I rinsed. That is not really for me but if you like a little sensation in the shower, may I suggest Dr. Bronner's Peppermint) + water in a foaming soap dispenser.

That's it. Dr. Bronner's is an awesome company that I should have been buying all along. It only has 8 ingredients and 4 of them are water and oils.

7. Ah, shaving cream. There's no before product because honestly I just used whatever was laying around...shampoo...soap...water. But this recipe from Modern Hippy Housewife (I love that she's modern and hippy) is probably the best I've found so far. A lot of recipes call for coconut oil but as great as it is for stretchmarks, it will clog a razor just as fast as it will clog a pore. This uses grapeseed or olive oil instead. I also added this to a foaming soap dispenser because...well...why not? I use this recipe in the guest bathrooms as hand soap as well because the honey and the oil leave the hands feeling so soft and nourished. Please don't judge my razor. That's next month's project.

8. Lastly, my new face regiment. There are a lot of people who use their essential oils for cleaning or body wash, but personally, I feel that's kind of a waste of expensive oil. If it's only on my skin for 15 seconds or it's being applied to my kitchen floor, that's not as good as it going directly on my skin or in my diffuser or in my mouth (more on that next month) so I reserve most of my oils for application or inhalation or ingestion. Right now, since it's winter in Pennsylvania and the sun comes out between the hours of 8 AM and 9 AM, I use 1-2 drops of lemon oil with a little jojoba oil on my face in the morning. But the citrus oils are tricky. It's like Retin-A. Hey high school friends, remember that time I put Retin-A all over my face and then went out and played a softball game? It's like that. Lemon can increase photosensitivity so I use it on rainy, cloudy days, which are in great abundance at the moment. It's great for clarifying and brightening. And then a little "Frank" in the evening for generally healing and skin health.

I also switched Blue's Aveeno Baby Wash (Neal texted me the Think Dirty score one night during bathtime and I demanded he throw out that Baby Cancer Wash immediately) to Weleda Calendula Baby Shampoo (from Amazon). It gets the highest score of "O" on Think Dirty and its most suspicious ingredient is probably Disodium Cocoyl Glutamate, which is similar in structure to MSG but without any of the toxic effects. The rest is water, oils, flower extracts and naturally occurring essential oils.

And that's where we are so far. As I mentioned, Neal gave me a Birch Box subscription for Christmas so, while the Mighty Nest subscription would probably have been better for The Year of Better, I asked for it back in November. And I will keep using the samples they send. At the end of this year I will probably start looking to replace my makeup with cleaner, less chemical-laden options (and that's no easy or cheap feat either).

I love sharing recipes so if you have a body wash or shaving cream or deodorant roll-on, etc. that you love, please post it in the comments! And if you try one of these, let me know how it goes! Next up will be my new arsenal of cleaning sprays, scrubs, tabs and, of course, the wool dryer balls I finished last Sunday.

No Matter Where You Are From

I posted on Facebook yesterday that I have started noticing these signs around central Pennsylvania. It started with Hershey but I've since seen them in Lebanon, Harrisburg, Lititz and Lancaster. As it turns out, it all began with Lancaster (which I still pronounce as LAN-caster instead of Len-cas-TER. My cover is blown about 30 seconds after the locals meet me but they keep inviting me to stuff anyway). Lancaster has been dubbed "America's Refugee Capital" for its role in accepting and assisting more refugees per capita than any other city in the US. To date, citizens of Lancaster have welcomed over 1300 refugees into their city and their homes.

via LancasterOnline

In 2012, they created the Lancaster County Refugee Coalition, whose motto is Thriving in Lancaster, Enriching Us All. This association of over 40 community organizations support and optimize refugee resettlement in Lancaster County by "empowering the community to incorporate refugees into social services and community systems." They do this by enlisting the help of organizations like the Lancaster/Lebanon Literacy Council (and their ESL services), Franklin & Marshall College, the Ware Institute for Civic Engagement and Church World Service of Lancaster. In fact, Church World Service and Lutheran Refugee Services are the 2 agencies that resettle refugees in Lancaster County. They have 90 days, per an agreement with the federal Office of Refugee Resettlement, to get refugees resettled with the basic necessities (i.e. housing) but Lancaster County wanted to do more than simply get a roof over their heads and some food in their mouths. They wanted to make the resettlement process as seamless and painless as possible. During a conference of the coalition, the members realized that communication between the agencies was breaking down and there was no coordinated or streamlined process for resettlement. The coalition received two grants totaling $35,000, which funded a refugee focus group and a coalition coordinator, who works to bring new agencies on board who can contribute to one of the 4 areas of need identified (English as a second language - especially for adults in the workplace, refugee adjustment assistance, refugee youth and the community/cultural center-which is actually a Rotary Club project). The ultimate goal is to help these refugees become productive members of the community, not just dependents on the system. And they have been doing just that. In 2014, Lancaster welcomed 90 Somalis; 67 Burmese; 36 Iraqis; 32 Bhutanese; 31 Cubans; 25 Democratic Republic Congolese; 11 Ethiopians; 8 Sudanese; 2 Nepalis; 2 South Sudanese, and 1 Kenyan. 

But why is any of this surprising? Lancaster became home to the Amish and the Mennonites who were fleeing persecution long before the Iraqis arrived. And unlike many Americans, who often forget their European ancestry, these 2 religious groups remember what it was like to find a land of freedom. So, of course they would welcome them and try to ease their transition. Lancaster County is truly a melting pot of diversity. 

I will admit, when we first moved here, I made some Breaking Amish jokes. I tried to Instagram every horse and buggy we passed. I mocked the Mennonites for flocking to Hobby Lobby (What? Don't you make your own twine from horse hair or something?). But living among them (and joining the Moravian Church, whose motto is "In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, love"), I began to appreciate their unconditional love for their fellow humans. Not just other Mennonites. Not just other Amish. Not just other Moravians. All humans. Equally. In all things, love. They are doing God's work. They are living like Jesus. Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me. 

Refugees are, by their very definition, fleeing some unspeakable horror. They never wanted to leave their homeland. They never wanted to uproot their lives and move thousands of miles away, to a country that would tolerate them, at best, or falsely accuse and execute them at worst. I have a friend who lives in Pakistan. One day, on messenger, I asked her why she didn't just leave? Why not move to the U.K., where she had studied? And she simply said, "Because Pakistan is my home. I cannot leave." And, knowing about the political climate of Pakistan, I believe that says a lot. She posts pictures of her friends at the beach on holiday and at family celebrations and you would never know that her country is falling apart. But it is her home and it would take something unspeakable to make her leave. The only thing we should do is welcome them, hug them and help them find a home here, however temporary or permanent it may be.

I have, as I am wont to do, thrown myself into the activities of our new church. I spent last Saturday morning with other Moravians, hand-dipping pretzels that were sold to benefit the church's mission work in Jamaica. And I am on the nature garden committee. And we will be participating in the Little Lambs ministry, a program created to give children an opportunity to serve their community. This month, we will be collecting and delivering donations of breakfast food items to the Water Street Mission, which provides assistance for the homeless, as well as health screens and immunizations to refugees. 

But first...a sign. For our yard. For our neighbors. For anyone who happens to wander by. No matter where you are from, we are glad you're our neighbor. These signs are being sold by, wonder of all wonders, the Community Mennonite Church in Lancaster. But if you would like your own and you live far, the Immanuel Mennonite Church in Harrisonburg, Virginia created a PDF that can be sent to your local sign maker (or shirt maker, or billboard maker). You can find that free PDF file here. While the signs springing up in this area are predominantly Arabic/English/Spanish, the link above will also give you language options for French, Somali, Armenian, Hindi, German, Japanese and Chinese. 

In all things...love. 

2017: The Year of Better

As I write this, all three of us are sick. It started with a stomach virus before the winter break that began and ended with Blue and then a vicious head cold, bordering on sinus infection, that started with Neal around Thanksgiving. He finally went to the doctor and came home with a nasal saline spray, ear drops and orders to consume a teaspoon of honey three times per day. So, although I know that if I went to my own civilian doctor, she would probably drop an antibiotic on me faster than I can say Z-Pack, I also now know that there are doctors in this world who believe we can kick this with some saline and a spoonful of bee juice. And so that is what we are doing. Or trying to do. And every day is just a little bit better.

This renewed determination to fight illness with something other than a prescription is partially due to an NPR story we heard coming back from Kentucky after Christmas. There is some concern that because we are in such a hurry to get better when we are sick, we are taking antibiotics at an alarming rate and, someday, that is going to create a whole new problem: superbugs that are impervious to anything we have on the shelves right now. I would prefer not to be a Superbug statistic. It has taken a week + to kick this and that seems like a lifetime to be sick, especially when the little person in the house is sick, too. And if we (especially Blue) weren't improving each day, I would have gone to the doctor a long time ago. So, please don't send me hate mail addressed to Dear Crunchy Mama Who Is Killing Her Child With Snot and Honey...

But as we dragged ourselves to bed at 12:01 last night (and, admittedly, I had to beg Neal to not go to bed at 11:53), I vowed to make 2017 the Year of Better...better health, better living, better eating, better sleeping, better choices. I would be a liar, liar, pants on fire if I said none of these changes stemmed from the election. They do. In hindsight, I feel like I could have done a lot of things differently between June and November. And what's the point of retrospection if you aren't going to apply it to the future? This will require me to read more, research more, listen to opinions that I will certainly find disagreeable. I will have to be more open-minded, consider others' experiences and perspectives in a more engaging way and just try to be a better person.

However, as we have been sick for almost a month, trying to be a better person can't be my only improvement in 2017. Starting today, the focus of this blog for the coming year will be learning to live a healthier, less chemical-laden, more holistic life. Aside from my 400 Wakeups blog I wrote while Neal was deployed, I've never had a defined purpose for my blog. It has kind of just been the thoughts and ramblings of my daily (or, ahem, monthly, every 6 months...whatever) life. And while that worked for awhile, there are some things I can't write about (our Commander-in-Chief, AKA Neal's boss, for example), things I won't write about (Blue's bathroom-related escapades and Mommy judging/shaming) and things that are just not that interesting (now my hair is long enough to highlight). The result has been the noticeable lack of posts, followed by the sound of crickets. And, really, in this age that's OK because what is the world with one less blogger? But I don't write for you, I write for me...so my head doesn't explode, so I don't start imagining parallel universes where Neal has a complete family in Baghdad that he gets to see during deployments (I probably should have gone on Paxil a long time ago). I need to write and it's just a sunshine-and-rainbows bonus that y'all read and comment and follow along. So, this is where we're going...

We need less chemicals, less processed food, more sleep and less sugar. Items of convenience are disrupting our sleep patterns and our hormones. Industrial strength cleaners are toxic to all of us, especially the smallest in our family. We need to throw it all out and start over. Over the next year, I'm making a commitment to dramatically reduce the amount of chemicals we clean with, put on our bodies and in our mouths and, in general, come into contact with daily. I am also implementing a Whole 30-ish weekly menu with limited eating out and no fast food. And we will be weening ourselves from the sugar (because I went cold turkey last spring and not only did I go back to eating sugar, but Blue watched an unprecedented amount of Netflix while I sprawled on the couch for 2 days, detoxing).

On the whole, we do better than a lot of families. I cook 5-6 times a week and we always have fruit and healthy snacks on hand, but sometimes my menu includes 3 meals of pasta, enough dairy to drown a cow and pre-packaged ingredients. I only drink 1-2 cups of coffee per day but my teaspoon of flavored creamer sometimes turns into a heaping tablespoon, which then becomes "would you like some coffee with your creamer?" (I'm looking at you, peppermint mocha.) I only eat dessert after meals, but I try to eat 5-6 meals a day. Yes, I've been known to eat dessert after breakfast. I get 7 hours of sleep per night, but really I function best at 8. And I could get 8 if I would just get the hell off Pinterest. I use white vinegar with orange peels for wiping counters and spot-cleaning, but reach for harsh, toxic cleaners to scrub toilets, floors and showers. I need to stop buying dryer sheets at Costco. I need to stop buying them at all. And I only take medicine when I need it but lately it's been a steady diet of Mucinex, Vicks, Aleve and my rescue inhaler.

So, this is my game plan for our family and our house for 2017: 

• Write a Whole 30 menu for each week and limit processed foods to snacks, like pretzels, flavored Greek yogurt, string cheese and graham crackers. I resolve to make my own waffle/pancake mix, taco seasoning and salad dressings.
• Buy organic as much as possible. (Yes, I completely buy into the health benefits of eating organic food and have since we used Door to Door Organics in Kansas.) 
• Purchase meat from our local Mennonite meat market, which comes from local farms and is fresh everyday. 
• Eliminate the toxic cleaners from the house. I love my Swiffer jet but for starters, I'm not entirely sure it's getting the floors clean. When I look at the bottom of the mop, it's alarming how much dirt and grime I'm redistributing all over the floor. Secondly, if I worry about the cat walking across a wet floor, it shouldn't be because of the cleanser she may lick off her paws later. I also read some horrifying statistics about dryer sheets over the weekend. My goal is to replace every cleaner I use with a safer, homemade version.
• Blue and I are going to aim for 30 minutes of outside time everyday, even in the dead of Pennsylvania winter. Did you see that video about the Danish children who play in the water everyday, even in the winter? They splash in their bathing suits and then come in to warm up with some tea and a few minutes in the sauna, or something. That's never going to be us. But the fresh, cold air has to at least knock some of the indoor germs off for a little bit. And if we end up going to Alaska next, we'll be at least a tiny bit acclimated. 
• Lastly, but certainly not least, we are becoming a Young Living essential oils household. My starter kit and diffuser will be here this week but I'm already familiar with tea tree, peppermint, eucalyptus and lavender oils from when I was a massage therapist. And I always believed in their healing and cleansing properties but after Blue was born, additional research felt like a luxury and time was best spent on sleeping. Now, ignorance is keeping us in a toxic holding pattern and Blue is finally sleeping through the night (although I hear there's an oil for that). 

These seem like lofty goals, but in 2016, Neal graduated, we lived in our RV for the entire summer, visited 8 National Parks, Monuments and Battlefields, moved to the east and started a whole new life. Compared to that frenetic pace, spending the next year implementing a healthier lifestyle seems like a chemical-free cake walk. I hope you will join us!