I was going to let this slide because what should not be rewarded is bad behavior....contrary to the belief of many Girls Behaving Badly producers. But it was so sadly hysterical that I have to share. I want everyone else to feel the love, too....or the serious lack thereof. I got this from an Anonymous Commenter on The Death of Champagne Fridays:
Wow. It takes a really "special" kind of person to twist her husband's job loss into something that's all about her...Why is it YOU got drunk and angry instead of supportive and comforting? Can't you get a job for awhile?
(I put it in poopy brown....hehehehe...yes, I'm 12. Thanks for noticing).
So, I feel like I have just completed the final stage of being a 100 blogger (Thanks, Jessalyn). I've gained followers, lost followers, published guest posts, and now received a ridiculously negative anonymous comment. I will not waste my time or yours on all 48236792 reasons why this comment is absurd. If the reader even bothered to scan back past March 19th, he/she/ChickenLittle would see that I support Neal 150% everyday. And that is evident. Or it should be. If it's not, I seriously doubt it is anyone's responsibility to judge me on that. My day will come, don't you worry.
I've written, deleted, re-written, deleted and finally written again the next part because what spilled forth originally was vomit of the ego. My first reaction was to be mad...then hurt...then misunderstood (like Van Gogh). So, I left this to sit in the queue for an hour while I went to run my 4 miles and think about what I really wanted to say. And what I decided is that as I get older, I'm learning an important lesson...you never know where the other person is coming from. Don't judge because you never know the path they've walked. Was I judged too quickly? I think so. Everyone who reads me regularly knows 2 things:
1. I can be a bit of a drama queen
2. I truly believe Karma catches up
Well...3...I am not the only one drinking champagne at Chez Miller on Champagne Fridays.
But what I will not do is fight this firestorm with a blowtorch. I will not put negative back out into a world that is already drowning in it (yes haters, I'm talking to you). And I won't judge Anonymous because maybe it's a guy whose wife left him when he lost his job and now all he has is his dog, his fridge of deer meat and the Internet. Or maybe it's a she who has never been supported by her husband, regardless of her career choices. Maybe it's Neal's former employer. Or maybe it's Neal. All I know is that even if Anonymous had a face and a name and a Facebook profile, I still couldn't judge because not everyone puts their life on the chopping block like I do. I'm bound to get cut from time to time. I do feel some kind of unjustified need to clear the record about how we do things around this house.
1. I will support Neal in whatever he decides to do.
Want to take an active tour of duty in Antarctica?
Let me just put the house on the market real quick.
Weighing the options between Cosmotology and Massage Therapy School?
I've got my pro/con table already drawn out.
Deciding to take an early retirement and see the world through the windshield of an RV?
I'll call the dealership and tell them we're on our way.
I know that he will not choose any of these and he will take the most logical path...and get hired in about 9 seconds because he rocks tech socks. I'm just sayin'...I'll be there for you...always have been, always will be. I mean, you put me through massage school and then watched me pack up all of my massage supplies last weekend. I figure I owe you...
2. We are one of those obnoxious couples who is only completely happy when the other is happy. I've been edgy ever since Neal gave up, mentally, on making a difference at his job. Before I opened the business, Neal was always suggesting things for me to try....anything to make the crying after work and on Sunday nights stop. If he wants to go RV'ing, we'll be poor, but we'll be happy. Likewise, Neal does not want me to give up the business. He knows I'm all stupidglowy when I make and sell stuff. Why would he want me to give that up just to get a steady paycheck? Yeah, he wouldn't. Plus, someday the business will draw a steady paycheck. So, we have an understanding....I will see the continental U.S. from the passenger seat and he will let me keep Daisy & Elm.
3. The wine club membership was his idea, I merely agreed. Although I was not all that hesitant about it. And I lay in the tanning bed for relaxation purposes. I am literally slathered, head-to-toe, in Baby Sunscreen. I'm still pasty white...just like a Kentucky girl should be in March. But as I said before, I will easily give them up and take up something that does not involve cooking from the inside, out.
4. Neal and I have been through much worse than him losing a job and still came out holding hands and telling dirty jokes until we laughed. It will be fine like frog's hair and once I got past the mad (I call it sympathy anger because he was also less than pleased), I realized that he had been unhappy for quite some time and that couldn't last much longer.
And now I've just spent 1000 words justifying a blog post to an Anonymous commenter. LAME. Sorry guys, but the secret is out...I am not Chelsea Handler/Surferwife-tough. I am a hot mess of hormonal hominy that does not appreciate outright judgmental comments. Have something helpful to say? Go for it...even if it makes me squirm on my stability ball, I want to hear it. But please don't come in here and spray your nasty on my walls. I just cleaned them.
Showing posts with label Neal had nothing to do with this one. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Neal had nothing to do with this one. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Rock the Truth
It is said that a blog (and a Facebook profile, and a Twitter account) are all just variations on an ego...that it is a one-way conversation meant to put your impressions onto the world without the inconvenience of argument. I don't see it that way. I see blogging as a way to open the door between personalities, opinions, and cultures. If I express a belief or an assumption that my readers disagree with, I not only hope but actually expect them to speak up...to challenge me and the reason behind it. How can we ever presume to have an open dialogue about the matters of our world (or even the matters of our households) if we don't encourage a two-way communication? And that is why my comments forum is always open. It is your opportunity to express your agreement, disagreement or even pure disgust with what I have written. Although I was the most sensitive child, being married to Neal has taught me that it's not personal. It's NOT personal. It's an honest conversation between adults. And honesty is like trust...without it, we are only 2 (or 10 or 500) people existing in the same space, sharing oxygen, and plotting our next manipulation. That is not my world, even if my world sounds to some like a utopia of sorts. I have also been called naive and gullible (sometimes in the same sentence, which makes me want to buy that a person a thesaurus). I believe in the truth. I don't want to waste my time convincing someone to deliver it (which is probably why I never pursued that dream of FBI interrogator), nor do I want someone to sacrifice it just to appease me.
It is also often said that like attracts like. Massage school was rife this with mantra. Afraid you're going to book a client who doubles as a child molester? Well, are you a child molester? Like attracts like. What if you are booked with a murderer? Are you a murderer? Like attracts like. OK...those are extreme examples and I'm not so sure that murder actually ever came up in the clinic, but it was emphasized that our practice will cosmically draw clients that are most like us, fundamentally. I believe the same to be true about blogging. I follow blogs because the writers and I share the same sense of wit, irony, and truth. In all but 2 cases, I have never met any of these bloggers, face-to-face, but we are bonded by stories about husbands, children, parents, in-laws, and experiences in our daily lives. Could we all be professional fiction authors with plots and character structures scribbled out on napkins stashed our keyboards, just waiting for the next "chapter" in our blogs? Sure. But that could also be the case for your neighbor or your uncle. Chance are, we are writing from what we know...the daily life in its truest form.
I posted Mandi's story on Saturday because I believe in her. No, I've never met her. Yes, she lives in what I consider to be the Frozen Arctic and the only way I would ever visit is in July. But she has been courageous enough to ask for help during an age of suspicion and apprehension. That takes fortitude and, what I believe to be, the guiding hand of God. Do I know with absolute certainty that my money is going to a woman in Minnesota to buy a plane ticket to travel to Haiti and provide medical care to earthquake victims? No, I don't. And I won't until she returns with photos...but even those can be photoshopped to show her holding Haitian babies in a devastated city. What I do know is that is a dreadful life to lead, to question everyone's motives and honesty. My life is full of choices and I choose not to assume guilt until proven innocent.
And a word about the telethon. As Brooke has so accurately stated, the Hope for Haiti Now telethon was a wild success...and I'm glad for it. I maintain that celebrities have an obligation to use their status to improve the lives of others, whenever they can. Is it fair? No. They are merely doing a job that, unfortunately, comes with a set of principles and expectations. We would not expect a construction worker to lobby for better pay in the nursing field. But we all must do what we think is right, even if it does not always seem fair. And it was very, very right for the world's most famous stars to shuffle schedules and cancel appearances to bring hope to Haiti now. I just can't give them my money. But I'm ecstatic that millions of other people did. It is my desire to help someone in the most direct manner I know how and that is why I support Mandi with my blog and finances.
I can only say that I speak of this firsthand, as I was a volunteer after Hurricane Katrina. Working for the YMCA at the time, I was looking for any way to help, physically. Donating money was difficult for me because for all intensive purposes, I was living paycheck to paycheck. But I knew that if I could just get there, I could make a difference. The hurricane struck in September and in November I got a call to go with a team of 12 (from 7 states and 2 countries!). The camera crews were long gone but the devastation and the demoralization remained. We worked mainly in Long Beach and Gulfport, Mississippi...what was considered "the eye of the storm." Tent cities littered the neighborhoods and meals were planned because restaurants only opened when they had staff to work. I could write a whole series of posts on what we did, the survivors, and the work that continues...but what I know now is that I made a difference...one child, one adult, one survivor at a time. But I had to get there first.
I want to thank you all for your honesty, your comments and above all your time. I hate sticking to a 500-word maximum (obviously) because I love adjectives and description like a lemon-frosted Twinkie. I ask that you keep it comin', keep it real, and don't ever be afraid to offend (unless of course you start dissin' on my jewelry and then I'll have to take you to the gun show). You guys make this fun and that is the most I can ever ask.
It is also often said that like attracts like. Massage school was rife this with mantra. Afraid you're going to book a client who doubles as a child molester? Well, are you a child molester? Like attracts like. What if you are booked with a murderer? Are you a murderer? Like attracts like. OK...those are extreme examples and I'm not so sure that murder actually ever came up in the clinic, but it was emphasized that our practice will cosmically draw clients that are most like us, fundamentally. I believe the same to be true about blogging. I follow blogs because the writers and I share the same sense of wit, irony, and truth. In all but 2 cases, I have never met any of these bloggers, face-to-face, but we are bonded by stories about husbands, children, parents, in-laws, and experiences in our daily lives. Could we all be professional fiction authors with plots and character structures scribbled out on napkins stashed our keyboards, just waiting for the next "chapter" in our blogs? Sure. But that could also be the case for your neighbor or your uncle. Chance are, we are writing from what we know...the daily life in its truest form.
I posted Mandi's story on Saturday because I believe in her. No, I've never met her. Yes, she lives in what I consider to be the Frozen Arctic and the only way I would ever visit is in July. But she has been courageous enough to ask for help during an age of suspicion and apprehension. That takes fortitude and, what I believe to be, the guiding hand of God. Do I know with absolute certainty that my money is going to a woman in Minnesota to buy a plane ticket to travel to Haiti and provide medical care to earthquake victims? No, I don't. And I won't until she returns with photos...but even those can be photoshopped to show her holding Haitian babies in a devastated city. What I do know is that is a dreadful life to lead, to question everyone's motives and honesty. My life is full of choices and I choose not to assume guilt until proven innocent.
And a word about the telethon. As Brooke has so accurately stated, the Hope for Haiti Now telethon was a wild success...and I'm glad for it. I maintain that celebrities have an obligation to use their status to improve the lives of others, whenever they can. Is it fair? No. They are merely doing a job that, unfortunately, comes with a set of principles and expectations. We would not expect a construction worker to lobby for better pay in the nursing field. But we all must do what we think is right, even if it does not always seem fair. And it was very, very right for the world's most famous stars to shuffle schedules and cancel appearances to bring hope to Haiti now. I just can't give them my money. But I'm ecstatic that millions of other people did. It is my desire to help someone in the most direct manner I know how and that is why I support Mandi with my blog and finances.
I can only say that I speak of this firsthand, as I was a volunteer after Hurricane Katrina. Working for the YMCA at the time, I was looking for any way to help, physically. Donating money was difficult for me because for all intensive purposes, I was living paycheck to paycheck. But I knew that if I could just get there, I could make a difference. The hurricane struck in September and in November I got a call to go with a team of 12 (from 7 states and 2 countries!). The camera crews were long gone but the devastation and the demoralization remained. We worked mainly in Long Beach and Gulfport, Mississippi...what was considered "the eye of the storm." Tent cities littered the neighborhoods and meals were planned because restaurants only opened when they had staff to work. I could write a whole series of posts on what we did, the survivors, and the work that continues...but what I know now is that I made a difference...one child, one adult, one survivor at a time. But I had to get there first.
I want to thank you all for your honesty, your comments and above all your time. I hate sticking to a 500-word maximum (obviously) because I love adjectives and description like a lemon-frosted Twinkie. I ask that you keep it comin', keep it real, and don't ever be afraid to offend (unless of course you start dissin' on my jewelry and then I'll have to take you to the gun show). You guys make this fun and that is the most I can ever ask.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
All For You, Blissed-Out Grandma
Because she called me out and said that if I didn't post the photo, then it was a major violation of the rules. Here's the picture:
And here's the post: Match Point, Neal. I hope you're so blissed out that your eyes are rolling into the back of your head...if they aren't blinded by such a brilliant flash of the 90's.
Also?? Jeeves McArthur and I really are friends, but those are fists clenched in rage. He must have forgotten the corsage. And when's the last time you saw a magenta candlestick coupled with a Paul Sawyer print? Only in the 90's. Awesome like an angioplasty.
And here's the post: Match Point, Neal. I hope you're so blissed out that your eyes are rolling into the back of your head...if they aren't blinded by such a brilliant flash of the 90's.
Also?? Jeeves McArthur and I really are friends, but those are fists clenched in rage. He must have forgotten the corsage. And when's the last time you saw a magenta candlestick coupled with a Paul Sawyer print? Only in the 90's. Awesome like an angioplasty.
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