Roadtripping to Des Moines: Part 1 - We'll Cross That Bridge When We Get to It

I can't remember how I came to have a copy of The Bridges of Madison County in my hands, but I think it may have had something to do with the women in my family. Most likely, one of them read it and the copy got passed around until it was my turn. I zipped through it in about a week, relishing every steamy, forbidden love scene. Yes, her husband and children were away at the State Fair with their prize pigs or whatever when the main character fell in love (into bed) with a National Geographic photographer who just happened to be passing through. And no, now that I'm married with a kid I probably wouldn't read more than 3 pages of a book where the wife cheats on the husband. But I read this book when I was in high school and, oh lawsy, it set the fires a-burnin'.

And then the movie came out.

And then they cast Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep as the two star-crossed lovers and all of us who grew up thinking they were old when we were babies just rolled our eyes and gagged a little. Really? Matt Damon wasn't available? What about Tom Cruise? Truly, I would have even settled for Keanu Reeves. And what about Francesca? The most popular actresses in 1995 included Nicole Kidman, Elisabeth Shue and Mira Sorvino. I would have chosen any of them over Meryl Streep. Well, maybe not Mira Sorvino. She has a weird face that makes her look like she just stabbed either your gerbil or your grandmother...a little hard to tell which.

My point is, I had just finished my junior year of high school when the movie premiered and I was completely grossed out by 2 very old people chasing each other around the kitchen while trying to get naked. I gave up halfway through and went back to watching While You Were Sleeping.

But...I have always loved the actual bridges of Madison County...which are, as a matter of fact, in Iowa. Most of them dot the landscape around Winterset, Iowa and are so close together that if you visit the area during the Bridges of Madison County Festival in October, you can board a Winterset school bus that will take you to several of them.

And that is exactly what Blue and I did. We drove from Fort Leavenworth, KS to Des Moines, IA just to attend this festival and walk the bridges where Francesca and Robert flirted and fell in love. (Although in my head, Francesca is played by Sandra Bullock and Robert is played by Robert Downey, Jr.) And we visited with our friend, Holly, an Iowan who loves random adventures as much as we do...especially when it involves a school bus full of people who are at least 30 years older than any of us.

But before we could go here, we had to get on the bus...

Holly is kind of a creeper. She's like Mira Sorvino in that way. Actually, she photobombed our picture and I said, "You better be careful. You'll end up on my blog." Three years later...

So, we got on the bus with a lot of people who probably thought Clint Eastwood was perfectly cast as a sex symbol (which is going to be me someday when I talk about how profoundly hot Patrick Swayze was in Dirty Dancing) and rode out to our first stop, Roseman Bridge.

For the record, Blue was 3 years old when we did this and was completely bored by touring covered bridges. But I promised him ice cream at the end so he wasn't a total nightmare. He still refused to smile or even look at the camera, though.

I spent a lot of time checking him for ticks.

Someone just couldn't resist jotting down a lyric from The Bridges of Madison County, the Musical on the inside of the bridge. Don't let them near the Titanic exhibit. They'll be scribbling "I'll never let go, Jack" across a glass case before you can call security.

It's like a painting. The red bridge contrasting with the green landscape and the blue sky...this is God's country.

I would have renamed that road, too. Why not cash in on some of the fame? Iowa was due.

The bus then brought us to North River Schoolhouse, a one-room school built in 1874. It is on the National Register of Historic Places and has been impeccably maintained. There was even some sand to keep Blue entertained while we listened to the guide.

We saw Cedar Bridge from the bus, but it's accessible through Cedar Bridge Park.

One more drive-by. There isn't enough time on the tour to get out and walk through each bridge, but you can always come back - which is exactly what I did 7 months later.

When we returned to Winterset, there were food trucks and arts & crafts waiting for us in the town square. We stopped to watch a farmer shear his sheep (which is a much rougher affair than I was expecting but the sheep didn't seem to mind).

And a place to sit and ponder how much you would love to own this place where you are sitting.

There is even a mini covered bridge where you can get a selfie (or a normal picture where you actually ask some random person to hold your phone and try not to crop anyone's head off).

By the way, if you don't understand my shirt, you and Neal will have something to talk about. He didn't get it, either. Meanwhile, Holly and I were laughing to the point of making a scene while we looked for my size at RAYGUN.

As we ate our street food on the lawn of the square and listened to live music, we decided this was well worth the price of admission. The bridges of Madison County are charming. I can see why someone wrote a book about them. And it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility to spot a photographer from National Geographic, wading through the creeks with his camera over his head, trying to capture all of this simple beauty in just one frame. The bridges are a treasure, tucked away in the outskirts of Des Moines and waiting for you to cross them, whether you are with a Robert, a Francesca or a good friend and your toddler.

Saving Fort Des Moines

A couple of weeks ago, Neal and I had the honor of meeting and shaking hands with 2 Tuskegee Airmen, one is 93 years old and the other is 95. With each passing year, our opportunities to meet any Servicemembers from World War II are dwindling significantly. These days, we are lucky to meet their children. As our parents pass on, we are left to tell our grandparents' stories, if we can remember them. But their service, their sacrifices are important and their memories should be shared, one way or another. Our visit with the Airmen was far too brief. I wanted to have them over for dinner; cook lasagna and let them talk until we all nod off over our desert plates. I wanted to hear about how the world has changed, how it is remarkably still the same, what changed their lives and what they hope for the future.

To hear the stories of previous generations, we must often turn to books and museums with curated collections that give the memories shape and context. My favorite Civil War museum is Pamplin Historical Park in Petersburg, Virginia. It is a privately owned museum that has always made Civil War history accessible and interesting. Visitors must engage with exhibits and that leaves an indelible mark on even the most apathetic guest. My initial thought was, "I wish the people who work here had been my high school history teachers."

Indeed, Jeff Kluever, the former Education Supervisor of Pamplin Historical Park, would make an excellent high school history teacher. But he has set his sights on something equally as important: saving Fort Des Moines, an Army training facility on the south side of Des Moines, Iowa. I've known Jeff and his wife, Holly, since we were stationed at Fort Lee in 2013. We would sometimes spend Friday evenings huddled around a bucket of chicken wings with a side of mambo sauce and laugh at all of the nerdy, historical tours we've taken over the years. So, it was no surprise that Jeff found significance in this struggling landmark. But as he began to share its stories with me, I was also overcome with a sense of obligation to the men and women who made Fort Des Moines a notable chapter in history. I don't know if Jeff, who now serves on the Fort Des Moines board of directors, will be able to spark enough interest to save this national treasure, but y'know what? We have to try. So, he came to me and said, "Can you help me get the word out?" Absolutely. Truly, it's the least I can do.

M&M: What makes Fort Des Moines historically significant?
Jeff: The fort is important because it is the site of the first Officer Candidate School for African-American men in United States Army history. The  first (and only) cadet class of 1917 graduated 639 men as commissioned officers to serve in World War I and included college graduates, non-commissioned officers, 9th and 10th cavalry "Buffalo Soldiers" and men from the 24th and 25th infantry. Several cadets were already established leaders in the black community. By 1911, Elder Watson Diggs had co-founded Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity while Frank Coleman and Edgar Love had co-founded Omega Psi Phi Fraternity. 

Other cadets reached notoriety after graduation. Samuel Joe Brown, Charles Howard and James Morris went on to found the Iowa Negro Bar Association (now the National Bar Association) in 1925. Charles Hamilton Houston became a lawyer and argued 8 cases in front of the Supreme Court, winning 7 of them. He mentored Thurgood Marshall and played a significant role in dismantling the Jim Crow laws, which earned him the moniker, "The Man Who Killed Jim Crow".

Courtesy of The Library of Congress 

 The African-American Cadet Class of 1917

The women's legacy is less represented by individuals, but seen more in the rapidity (relatively speaking) of the incorporation of women into the Army.  The first women recruits arrived at Fort Des Moines on July 20, 1942. They trained there as WAACs (Women's Auxiliary Army Corp), but became WACs (Women's Army Corps) when President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed legislation which integrated women into the U.S. Army in 1943. That's a pretty fast transition, especially for the military. 

 Courtesy of The Library of Congress

WAACs, answering the call to assembly, Fort Des Moines, 1942

 Courtesy of The Library of Congress

Auxiliary Doris Johnson, of Leipic, Ohio, is shown washing down a jeep, which was considered "heavier work", Fort Des Moines, 1942

Courtesy of The Library of Congress

WAAC officer candidates, studying Organization of the Army in the classroom after their march drill, Fort Des Moines, 1942

Courtesy of The Library of Congress

The first graduating class of WAACs at Fort Des Moines, 1942

The stories of these men and women are pretty remarkable.  Obviously, both groups faced significant discrimination.  Both groups were used mostly for manual work/clerical work, though a few African-American regiments saw combat in World War I.

M&M: How and why did you get involved with Fort Des Moines? 

Jeff : My involvement in the museum began in November 2017, when I read a newspaper article about the financial struggles facing the museum.  I thought, given my previous museum experience, that I might be able to help - despite the fact that I can't write really big checks.  I was elected to the board in December and have been working since that time to establish a foothold so that we can create a strategic plan that enables the museum to be financially sustainable.  What's remarkable is that the museum, the collection and the exhibits are in really good shape.  We have deferred maintenance that needs to be addressed, but we could open tomorrow and have a decent display.  What we lack are financial resources.  The board is trying to piece together enough funding to give ourselves the breathing room we need to pursue grant funding, sponsorships/partnerships, etc., but to this point we are expending all of our energy on paying the utility and insurance bills.

I suppose the biggest reason I got involved is that this is a story that needs to be told, and I'm afraid that if we close our doors there won't be anyone telling those stories.  The stories of these men and women are not only meaningful in a historical sense, but relevant to conversations we are still addressing today.

Courtesy of Ullery Smith, graphic designer for Fort Des Moines

Saving Fort Des Moines is a daunting project. Jeff and the rest of the board of directors must rebound from years of financial struggles, even though enough money was raised in 2004 to renovate a former bachelor's barracks and add informational displays. The president of the board of directors complained to the Iowa Register last November that the community either doesn't care or has forgotten about the significance of Fort Des Moines. 

What I find most ironic is that the very reason Fort Des Moines was chosen to host its first and only class of African-American commissioned officers could be the precise cause of its financial distress: it is in the middle of "nowhere". The government, assuming the cadets would fail, wanted them as far from the east coast media as possible. Fort Des Moines, at that point, was an abandoned cavalry base and available for use and it was far, far away. While many fine people live in and around Des Moines, it is not a tourist destination. Even though Fort Des Moines has been designated as a National Historic Landmark, it does not receive the steady flow of cash that other National Historic Landmarks such as Hoover Dam, Alcatraz and the USS Arizona do every summer. We don't vacation in Des Moines (although I've been there and everyone should visit) and the fort falls into further disrepair.

Since December, though, the board of directors has worked to create a strategic plan for the museum and has started to look for grants and other funding opportunities, even though they don't qualify for some because of the museum's current financial situation. But Fort Des Moines remains open, with 100% volunteer support, every Saturday during the summer. On November 3, the museum will host a Passing of the Colors event. You can keep up with Fort Des Moines on its Facebook page and take a peek inside the museum with this Youtube video.

So, I know my readers and I know you are asking yourself right now: What can we do to help? First and foremost (and perhaps most obvious) is to give. Jeff has set up a Go Fund Me account here and has set a goal of $50,000. We can also share this story on social media. You never know who it might reach...a news outlet, a wealthy donor, a thousand someones who know a thousand more someones. And lastly, we can visit our local National Historic Landmarks and Heritage Sites, which have earned that distinction from the National Parks Service. They are not always the sexiest or most Instagrammable places to visit, but they are recognized as historically significant and worthy of our time and dollars. 

Any time you see an African-American or female Servicemember, remember that Fort Des Moines helped pave the way for their service. Supporting Fort Des Moines is a way of saying thank you to those who have sacrificed for this country.

The Year of Living More With Less: a SoCal Update

Sometimes I feel like the universe hears my warrior cries of promised self-improvement and says, "Oh yeah? Hold my beer."

Southern California is making it really hard to adhere to The Year of Living More With Less.

Mostly because everything out here is all about more. More things to do, more foods to try, more blogs on Pinterest dedicated to L.A. photo op bucket lists, more hidden spots to check out, more exotic places to be seen. And it has been really hard to ignore all of that. In the first month we were here, we visited the Hollywood sign (twice), went to 3 beaches in Laguna, visited the Channel Islands, attended a red carpet premiere, ate our way through Hollywood (including one cupcake from an ATM) and bought a bracelet from the wardrobe department at Days of Our Lives. And really, that is only the beginning. To be fair, we've been entertaining company for a lot of that, but some if it was just us wanting to do all. the. things. And that doesn't even include the Blue Star Museums that are free to us until Labor Day: The Velveteria (yes, it is an entire museum devoted to velvet paintings), the Western Museum of Flight, the Automobile Museum (which features life-size Hot Wheels cars on display a few times throughout the year).

Don't even get me started on the grocery stores. Do I go to Albertson's, Von's, Sprout's, Ralph's, Whole Foods or the butcher across the street? It's not a question of which one is closest. They are all 2 miles from each other. There is a farmer's market every day of the week and one farm down in Irvine that delivers fresh produce to the area once a week.

In fact, the only thing I have to drive any great distance for is a church, which sort of seems fitting. It's in Downey, about 45 minutes from here. It's not that there aren't churches here. There are. There are Baptist churches on the beach and Buddhist temples in downtown L.A. But to find the Moravians (which have merged with the Episcopalians) we have to drive.

There are more people (the only people I've seen more than once are the families in our neighborhood), more cars, more options for things to do, places to go and things to see than we've ever had. Ever.

Right smack dab in the middle of The Year of Living More With Less.

What's that sound? Oh it's the universe laughing its ass off. Well-played.

But what's the point of doing a challenge if you aren't...challenged? So, here we are: having the Come to Jesus that I never saw coming but desperately need. Where is the less in all of this?

I went back to Seventh Generation clothing and dishwasher detergent because the water here is so frickin hard. The thrift stores are hard to resist, not because something may have been worn by Catherine Zeta-Jones but because it's the only stuff that's reasonably priced. And how do I say "no" to an entire museum filled with velvet paintings? I just spent an hour spray painting Cadillacs in the desert not 2 months ago; you know resistance is futile.

So, now I have some soul searching to do. I have to get my book and my highlighter back out and start all over again. Not from the quiet, uncomplicated fields of the Keystone state, but from a place where the sun always shines and the bucket list overflows. I could absolutely keep going at this pace, but should I? Is it healthy? Does it allow for time to reflect? Is it shortening my attention span? Is it feeding my need for more? What does it teach our son?

I know that when Blue starts back to school in a few weeks some things will change. I will be hindered by a drop-off/pick-up schedule. You can't spend the entire day hiking Runyon Canyon and expect to be back by the end of school. And I will start my volunteer work with the International Bird Rescue, as well as in Blue's school. Plus I'll be back at my desk creating jewelry. So, all of that will keep me from running the roads. Maybe this is how summer is supposed to be. Mach 10 on the 405 with the wind in our hair and gelato smeared on our faces. Or maybe I'm making excuses because the idea of leaving here without checking everything off the list is what keeps me up at night.

But there will always be one more thing. One more live taping to see. One more taco truck to try. One more pop-up boutique. One more graffiti art walk. One more photo to take. One more distraction from the goal at hand. I can live more with less. I can do this. I can.

In Defense of Nature

On Monday, I committed a cardinal California sin.

I allowed Blue to keep a lizard in captivity, inside of a plastic bin with flowers, grass, fresh water and the lid wide open, for 8 hours. Actually, when we arrived home from Vacation Bible School, the lizard had blown that popsicle stand so it may have been closer to 5 hours. It is not a lizard on the endangered list. In fact, some other kid had already "tagged" this particular lizard with blue marker on his belly and throat. I did not let Blue color his lizard. He examined his body, made notes about distinguishing features, examined how it moved about the enclosure and was extremely gentle when handling it.

Yet, when I asked on our local Facebook page if anyone had a wardrobe box leftover from a move, one that I could have to cut up and use as a home for this lizard for the next 24 hours, you would think I had just shot a Bald Eagle out of the sky and was going to use it to bludgeon a California Brown Pelican to death while the newly hatched sea turtles looked on. And then use a plastic, grocery store bag to bury the bodies.

No, we will not be retiring in California.

But this is not really about a boy and his lizard or even about the passion for animals that radiates from Blue's every pore, every day. This doesn't even have anything to do with the fact that shows like Wild Kratts and Jack Hanna are specifically scripted to help children learn to care about all animals, not just the ones who get top billing at the biggest zoos. Blue knows what a Banded Archer Fish is, the difference between a Sloth Bear and a Sun Bear, and he can do a spot-on imitation of a capuchin. Thanks to PBS and the many hours we've spent in zoos all over the country, watching animals, talking with zookeepers and supplementing all of that with a library of animal books, Blue loves animals. He refers to our cat as his sister and I can drag him to the most boring event in the world, as long as there's at least a squirrel or a bird that stops by so he can study it for a few minutes. I don't doubt that he will grow up to be someone who rescues injured pets from the side of the road and keeps the bird feeder filled, even during the abundance of summer. But I fully expect him to go further; to become a zookeeper or a veterinarian or work with a wildlife rescue agency. That is the intensity of the flame that burns inside of him at this young age. And it shows no sign of flickering out.

So, yes...when he finally caught a lizard after 8 weeks of trying, we called my friend in San Diego to ask her what it likes to eat, what kind of environment it likes to live in and then we did our best to re-create it, even though we both understood this to be a temporary arrangement. But I wanted his home to be bigger, hence my request for the wardrobe box. Those things are huge and unwieldy. I thought I would be doing someone a favor. Instead, I was told that what I was doing was illegal (but by all means, go on down to Pacific Coast Highway and score a dime bag because, hey, it's California!!) and I believe I may have been loosely compared to Hitler. I don't know. The guy made some comment about how humanity had killed more than one thing within 24 hours so my time frame was unreasonable. Apparently, anything longer than 24 seconds was going to give the lizard PTSD.

OK, look...I get it. We are all hyper-sensitive these days...about a lot of things. We don't force the tigers to jump through rings of fire. Elephants no longer have to dance on hind legs just to prove they can do it. Zoos continue to catch flack everyday, for everything from the size of their enclosures to their breeding programs. I worked at a nature preserve in Lexington one summer and more than once we had people threaten to break into our visitor's center so they could free the red-eared slider turtle and the box turtle that had been happily crawling around in their huge tanks for years. No one wants to see an animal in captivity but we are more than happy to breed Labradors with Poodles so we can get a dog that is hypo-allergenic, doesn't shed and looks cute in a bow. I don't care about your Labradoodle. I would love to have one myself. But get off my ass about going to the zoo and catching a lizard. If you aren't biking to work, wearing the same cotton toga everyday and living in a bush by the river, you are probably contributing to the downfall of an animal's habitat in some way. But maybe you recycle, use cloth grocery bags, plant flowers for the butterflies, preach about saving the bees' hives and encourage your children to engage with nature in a way that makes them care about what happens to it as they grow up. And that is what matters.

To be fair, I used to not feel this way. I scolded Blue every time he picked a leaf from a tree to study its edges or wandered off the path and trampled the wildflowers as he excitedly searched for the Chickadee, whose call he recognized. Nature is fragile and we mustn't touch it. Just look at it from afar. We may damage it and then we'll lose it forever. Sort of an "if everyone picked just one flower there wouldn't be any left" kind of mentality.

But then I read THIS amazing article on Slate about kids and nature and it changed everything for me. I wanted to raise a child who engaged so much with nature that he became territorial of it, rushing to protect it when he saw others abusing it. And there is only one way to engage with nature. Pick the leaf, turn over the rock, climb the tree, temporarily re-home the lizard. Not every lizard in Southern California. Just one. They evolved from the dinosaurs. They can take it.

And y'know what? On the way home from Vacation Bible School that night we started talking about how the lizard's family felt when he didn't return home that evening. Yes, I may have equated Blue's captivity of his new reptile friend to kidnapping, but it got his attention. We talked about how Blue would feel if someone just ripped him away from us one day and took him to a new home; how scared he would be, regardless of how nice that new home was. We talked about what it would be like to not know where he was, who he was with, when he would see us again, if he was safe, if he would be fed or cared for. And then Blue said, "If I free the lizard tonight, will you put me to bed for the rest of the week?" He needed an out. He wanted to be Jack Hanna without being Ted Bundy. I looked in the mirror and said, "Of course."

When we got home, the lizard had made his escape, but Blue didn't cry the way he would have if we hadn't talked on the way home. He said, "I loved that lizard. I wish I had gotten his picture. I hope he got home OK." He's going to make a great animal caretaker someday.

I should also mention that I didn't write this so someone will comment about how wrong I am to take this opinion. You can quote your PETA facts but it isn't going to change my mind. This is for all the parents out there who worry that they will be ostracized for allowing their children to catch a minnow or tickle a sea anemone in the tide pools. Don't hold your breath and hope that no one noticed. We are carefully crafting great humans who will protect this earth with unwavering dedication. Don't ever apologize for that.

How We Fared at the Orange County Fair

The day after the PA Farm Show closed this year, Blue began asking when we could go back. And it's been like that, off and on, for 6 months. I finally had to break the obvious, yet still devastating, news that we don't live in Pennsylvania anymore. The Farm Show will have to wait. But until then...we have the Orange County Fair!

I started seeing billboards around town for the OC Fair about a week after we moved here and my first mistake was thinking it would be like any other county fair. I mean, we aren't judging. Many a wonderful night has been spent riding the tilt-a-whirl and eating funnel cakes at my hometown fair (which has, in years past, awarded the 3rd winner up in the beauty pageant a burrito from Qdoba and the winner a $25 gift certificate to Merle Norman...so I guess I'm saying the bar hasn't been set unfathomably high for this KY girl). But...no...this is Orange County, California. Just as everything is bigger in Texas, everything is a production in California.

When you put the address, 88 Fair Drive, into Waze, it brings you right to the Yellow Gate, which also happens to be the farm animal area. This was unplanned perfection as the only thing Blue expressed any interest in seeing was the livestock. But first...

the FFA/4H turkey judging competition.

This kid ended up winning and maybe it's the California rubbing off on me, but he reminds me of a Disney character. Like Aladdin or Hector from Coco. I can't put my finger on it, but someone...

Those poor turkeys hung suspended for at least 5 minutes while the judge made her way down the line, inspecting...well...whatever it is they look for when judging a turkey. And this is no small feat because, apparently, they are heavy as heck. I wouldn't challenge any turkey farmer to a push-up contest. If all this makes you hungry, they'll be auctioned off next Saturday, the 21st. Getcha some!

From there, we grabbed some turkey leg tacos (sorry...how could we not?) and headed over to watch the pig races.

The next time Neal wants to smoke a pork butt, this image will be the first one in my head. Sorry, piggies.

The rest of the livestock is in this area, as well. Cattle, goats, sheep, pigs, rabbits, lambs and chickens are all in various stages of preparing to be judged. From bathing the goats and babysitting the herd...

to feeding the pigs and walking the turkeys,

everyone was getting ready for their close-up, Mr. DeMille.

Especially this lady...

and these two.

When we had had all we could take of pigs smiling in their sleep,

we ventured over to the Main Mall area for the arts and crafts competition, as well as an Irish band giving a free concert in "The Hangar".

While Blue makes a bee line for the farm animals every year, my first stop is the cake competition. And it never fails to amaze and inspire. Although I am still waiting for Nailed It to call about the blueberry murder scene I tried to pass off as snowman pancakes last Christmas, I can't help but look for a way to recreate these beauties.

Maybe...

I could...

possibly...

Oh forget it. Where is the wine tasting?

Some of my other favorites from the arts & crafts competitions (and events I've never seen at a fair before, such as the table decorating contest, which judges the participant based on accuracy of the theme and correctly placed utensils on the table. How very Downton Abby of them.).

This one got my vote. Up is one of my favorite movies and this table won an award for accuracy.

But there was more amazingness to be found in the Promenade building.

And then there was the wedding of James Irvine (of Irvine, California...yes, that Irvine family) and Susan Jeske (the first Ms. America and current CEO of the Ms. America Pageant) last month. As you can imagine, it was quite the storybook affair. So much so, as it turns out, that the wedding dress, shoes, cake, champagne glasses and the brooch bouquet were on display at the fair. Sort of unusual as far as fair exhibits go, but they are the darlings of Orange County.

And for my next DIY project, I will be bedazzling our champagne flutes from 2006 and submitting them to the fair back home.

Don't miss an opportunity to "Free Your Inner Farmer" by Instagramming your kitchen gadget angel wings

or snapping a pic of that one time your son was being a brat but it actually worked out perfectly, much to his chagrin...

After all that, we needed ice cream. Blue settled on a boring blended cone, but I had to have the cow patty.

It's simple to make but I couldn't resist dining on something named after a steaming pile of cow poo. Happy cows poop sprinkles.

We skipped the carnival rides and games and headed to "Centennial Farm", where the milking demonstration was held and we missed our chance to walk right up and order a Pink's hotdog.

Seriously. Not a single person in line. This makes me weep a little for the 40 minutes we stood in line in L.A. a few weeks ago.

I also nearly had a 5-year old fit when the tween working the register at Pignotti's told me they hadn't started making the spaghetti doughnuts yet. I mean, how do you advertise a spaghetti doughnut and then not deliver on the second day of the fair? I think I've figured out how to make them at home, but if someone goes and has one, please Skype me before you dig in.

We finally wandered over to the "Family Fairway" after watching the cows being milked, just in time for the Russell Brothers Circus show. After buying the $2 (6-page) coloring book they were hawking (Neal pointed out it was the cheapest way to buy a souvenir from the fair, especially since we had nixed the stuffed pig Blue was begging for after the pig races), we settled in for a fun demonstration of magic and human talent. Neal seems to think this is a 3-generation affair, with the father being the magician...

(he won a fan for life when he turned a dove into a house cat)
the son performing feats of human strength and balance

and the grandson juggling oranges and plastic bats.

Whatever the relationship of the cast, it was a cute show and I'm glad it was free.

After the disappointment of the spaghetti doughnut, I was further convinced that I needed to try the peanut butter & jelly & sriracha funnel cake being offered just outside the big top. Neal tried to pretend like he wasn't going to have any, but I grabbed 3 forks because I'm not an idiot. It was sweet, spicy and just a little nutty. It was perfection on a plate.

Also, nothing says SoCal fair like a churro, some cotton candy in a party hat, an ice cream cone, an orange and a corn cob posing for pictures with the guests...

I just keep thinking of that line in Hope Floats when they are driving back to Texas and the daughter says, "Is this where you were Cream of Corn?" and Sandra Bullock says, "QUEEN of Corn, honey."
Three years runnin'...

There is also a petting zoo in this area. Nothing too exotic. Well, except for these guys.

and sleeping baby pigs

and freshly hatched baby chicks.

When the cute-o-meter maxed out, we headed over to the Heroes Hall to color postcards for Servicemembers in the VA hospital in Long Beach.

By this point, we had been at the fair for about 7 1/2 hours. The sun was starting to set and people were arriving by the hundreds, with a line forming at the ticket stands and traffic backing up onto the freeway from the off-ramp. It was time for us to go. Thank you, Orange County Fair. It was the real deal.

                                                    Y'all come back now, ya here? 

If you go:
1. Parking is $10/vehicle, cash.
2. There are bathrooms EVERYWHERE. If there is a line, don't even stand there. You'll find another one in about 50 feet.
3. Most food vendors accept credit cards, some do not.
4. Active duty Servicemembers get in free, they can buy 1/2 price tickets for their family members. I don't think the family members get this rate if the Servicemember isn't with them.
5. There is a gigantic stand of daily maps/schedules when you enter the gate. They are free. Grab one. Use it.
6. Some events are scheduled at certain times, such as the Peking Acrobats (which I highly recommend seeing - we caught the very end but it looked like a great show), the pig racing and the animal judging.
7. There are annoying vendors trying to sell time shares in exotic locales like Hawaii. Ignore them like the folks trying to sell phones at the entrance of Costco and you'll be fine.
8. If you want to pay $2/person to go into a trailer to see a live alligator in the livestock area, go for it. But we skipped it and I think that's OK, too.
9. If something looks interesting, go check it out. As we were meandering around the ice cream truck, we stumbled upon the Irish band and while on our way to the petting zoo, we came across a brass band. You literally never know what will be around the next corner.
10. The earlier the better to beat the crowds. I thought coming in when the doors opened at 11 would be a challenge, but as it turns out, most people don't start really showing up until 7 hours later. I'm sure the fair is magical like Disneyland at night, but just know you won't be the only one with that idea.

Also...the orange trees aren't real.

Unless they've started dangling by wires.