Champagne Friday: The Holiday Hangover

number of miles driven to see Christmas lights: at least 100

quarts of eggnog consumed: 2

fifths of cherry-flavored bourbon consumed: 3...maybe 4. We've lost count.

number of goofy Christmas games played at family gatherings: 4

number of bourbon balls consumed: we lost count weeks ago

number of pounds gained: it's in the double digits between the 2 of us. Blue seems to have lost a pound.

And now it's January. The most gloomy of months, according to psychologists and debt collectors everywhere. Nothing to look forward to in the foreseeable future, unless you are a fool for Valentine's or St. Patrick's Days. We were forced into hibernation all day Monday and Tuesday as the temperatures dropped to 2 degrees and the wind chill to -21. The furnace in the house couldn't keep up and Blue's bedroom temperature dropped to 52 degrees at one point. So he slept with us for TWO NIGHTS and now we're re-training him (AGAIN) to his bed. I get it...who doesn't want to sleep with their parents? It's a warm, snuggly, safe place to be...but it's reserved for sick nights, nightmare nights, and nights when the bedroom temperature falls below anything acceptable for a toddler. But thou shalt not reason with a 17 month old.

I have a few amusing insights from Christmas and then it's back to the business of making the most of our time here in Kentucky. Neal is off for a week after he graduates with his master's degree, so we're driving 2 hours down the road to spend the night in a wigwam and take Blue to see lifesize dinosaurs. We tossed around the idea of a vacation but traded it in for staycation instead. More chances to eat amazing food and less back pain from hotel mattresses.

1) Mama Virgo bought a fancy car in October. It has heated seats. It also has a sensor that tells you when someone is in your blind spot on either side of the car. The combination of these 2 standard accessories makes me want to sell some important body parts so that I, too, can have one of these cars. But I bought a lottery ticket so we'll try that route first. Anyway...heated seats...during a sleet storm right before Christmas. It's like warming my tush on the wings of angels. Mama Virgo and Nana Anna Blue-sat so that we could attend the Christmas open house at My Old Kentucky Home and eat dinner at the local musketball-riddled tavern. And on the way home, Neal turned up the heated seats. It took me a second to recognize the general feeling of warmth...down there. And I remarked on how amazing it was. He then commented that we, too, could have heated seats...even in the Prius. We have a cigarette lighter adapter that has 2 ports for plugs. We simply need one more heating pad and we are in business.

Don't cry for me Argentina...I married him voluntarily. I knew what I was getting myself into.

2) We took Blue to see Santa and all of the Christmas decor at The Galt House in Louisville right before Christmas. Aside from the dancing bellmen (yes, the bellmen at the historic hotel DO perform a hiphop dance every weekend night at 5 PM during the festivities)

my favorite part was the room of fabric lighted characters. Larger than life and whimsically displayed, I appreciated it even more than driving through the light displays in Lexington or Louisville.

 However, this poor dolly has an ill-placed "Do not touch" sign. Really...next year, let's put it on the heel of her shoe or something, huh?

3) Yesterday, I had to take one of our cats to the vet. I used the on-post clinic because they had the first appointment available. Things were going smoothly...until the fire alarm started going off. The good doctor said, "oh don't worry. It's a drill. They do them every 2 weeks and we have just learned to ignore them. Now, let's take a look at her ears....". Then someone tapped on the door and said, "um, we need to leave. This is not a drill." Apparently, the main water line for the building had burst in the stairwell and the entire ceiling had collapsed and water was pouring down the stairs. Sort of like that scene in The Titanic where the ship is sinking and everyone in steerage is trying to get up the stairs but all of them are flooded. That kind of pouring water. Fortunately, it was down the hall from us and we were allowed to return to the exam room so we could finish up. But hello, winter. You can stay for exactly 6 more weeks and then it's time for you to GO.

I wish you all a very lovely Champagne Friday, complete with bubbles and a fully functional furnace. It's going to be 50 here on Sunday. Yes, Kentucky...the state where it is 52 on Sunday, 1 on Monday and 50 on the following Sunday. Don't like the weather? Wait 3 days.

Cheers!